Showing posts with label baby boomers. Show all posts
Showing posts with label baby boomers. Show all posts

Friday, November 10, 2017

Nagging moms raise more successful girls!



I love going to Google to look for an image, usually mid-way through, while writing a blog.  Ironically, the more productive I feel in real life, the better the writing seems to become.  If looking at the stats on meanderingABOUT and YUPPYdom are a strong indication.

Finding the perfect image to compliment the point I want to emphasis, often buried in all the other stuff I write.  I might start out with a strong title and then start writing.  However, once the image has been chosen, there is a strong likelihood that the title will change along with it.

I could spend hours looking at Pinterest art and photographic splendor:  there is a LOT of talent out there in the universe.  

Thankfulness
I may be slightly off the mark in my thankfulness blog to commemorate our Canadian Thanksgiving this year earlier in October [ usually, it fall around the third week of October, or so I thought ].

I'm sure my brother is thankful every October.  That is when he married his love of his life, his wife.  He was kinda private about relationships from what I remember growing up.  He is affectionately stereotyped as the Baby Boomer Older Sibling or BBOS (yes, somewhat bossy, but typically laid back unless you touched one of his record albums and left a speck of dust, he'd punch you in the arm).

Not anywhere else.  Just the arm.  Thankfully, it never happened very often.  In fact, once was quite enough.  



Ironically, growing up in the 1960s was not all about being groovy and surrounded by peace and love.  From what I recall, corporal punishment was outlawed just before me.  Happy to note, such an adventure to the principal's office for the strap is not among the repertoire of experiences I have had.

Yes, the innocent aura of my tribe of 1961 friends and classmates.  Yes, the worst year in history according to demographic specialists who authored "Boom Bust or Echo".  Light reading for a 25 year old to be sure.  That would have been in 1986.  A self-confessed YUPPY of a bygone era, overshadowed by Millennial entitlement, a product of our generous and forgiving parenting style where we tried to reason, take away "privileges"  the worst punishment these hipsters had to endure.  That, and our endless nagging or demanding Mom.

That REMINDS ME!!  One of my daughters texted me with a link to the following:

"Study:  Girls with nagging moms grow up to be more successful"

http://nbc4i.com/2017/10/31/study-girls-with-nagging-moms-grow-up-to-be-more-successful/
READ:  Nagging moms .... LINK


YES, this is the same one who gave me the PINK SLIP a couple of weeks ago.  One minute I'm driving her crazy and the next, I'm her hero.

The best story of nagging happened when she was at the enlightened age of 13.  As a January baby, beginning school at 3 because I recognized that she had a very inquisitive mind and knowledge student.  

I was trying to think of a gift for my son, who would have been 16 at Christmas.  That's when you start to realize that gifts are not masses of stuff but one perfectly thought out gift that connects with the age appropriateness of a boy starting the difficult journey of becoming a man.  Not something too boyish, it was getting to be a real bore buying a video game or a video console every year.  It was also expensive and not quite memorable.

In steps my daughter, where we're about to embark in the biggest mother-daughter battle of our respective generations.  Setting the tone for the next 15 to 20 years.  She suggests that I get him two tickets to this concert in February just in and around his birthday.  

Brilliant!  Now I had not even thought of that!  Probably because it was not uncommon for me to take them and pals to the Glenbow Museum in Calgary [when I did have to pay for entrance, having years ago been their advertising representative, attending free openings, general meetings, shareholder meetings, artist presentations, launching shows].  They all had been to live performances with me from The Nutcracker to Phantom of the Opera to The Wiz on Broadway in New York, NY.

So I did buy those two tickets as my lovely offspring suggested.  Son was just "meh" over the present.  He didn't even appear interested with his sister's first pay-as-you-go cell phone [ one of the reasons she turned into a math whiz I'm sure, from learning to subtract backwards on declining minutes of coolness ].

Well, as it happens.  The daughter had actually wanted to go to said concert.  She was 9/10 convinced that her brother would reward her thoughtfulness for coming up with the idea, that he would ask her to go with him.

As the date of the concert started to draw closer, her hints were replaced by out-and-out-demands that he take her to the concert.

As the most perfect brother would, he just didn't respond.  The more she squawked, the less he noticed.  




It was time to go to war.  It was time to get everyone on her side of the army to help convince her brother that she was the most logical and OBVIOUS partner.

He didn't agree.  I respected his decision, reinforcing that choice every time she peeped up.

The day of the concert also happened to be when I was going to compete in a Toastmasters' International Contest by giving a speech.  I was nervous already, about to step off the cliff of my comfort zone and compete.  

Dressed to the nines to work I went that day.  Thinking back as one of the most disastrous days as a mother.  

Like any army general, I had the battalion organized with the support and help of the Master Sgt, my mother, and her side kick, my father.  I would pick up the one daughter at home with my son, then drop her off at my parents, who would pick up the youngest daughter from her soccer game, which I had arranged carpooling with another soccer mom.  My parents would feed the girls and my son would eat garbage at the concert and be content after I drove him there with his buddy.

Like any well-intentioned-mother, I had clearance from work to leave at four o'clock to "prepare for my contest" that evening.  I was already trying to think of ways I could bow out gracefully without showing the stage fright I was hit with!

Happily practicing and rehearsing out loud as I joined the commute home:  not appearing as though I were singing like all the other gals in the various lanes, nope.  I was looking like I was talking to myself!

SOURCE:  Getty Images


Being a single mother of three, perfection was my decree:  the better a job I do at being a parent than their dad, the happier they would be.  No, no yelling.  While a locked jaw clenching my teeth was usually the best sign for the troops to run for cover:  it never looked good and appeared more foreboding than any disciplinary measures handed out.

When I arrived home, not one girl was missing but both!  Huh?  Oh, look a note from the articulate writer who confessed to having swiped her brother's concert tickets and gone to it with her best friend, Stephanie.  {Ironic how both girls best friends when they were 13 were both named Stephanie - I ignored any red flags with the 2nd daughter that I shouldn't have!}

Now that I think of it, I wonder if I ever did save that note.  With butterflies, sunshine and flowers surrounding the words, she begged for forgiveness and understanding on how much SHE wanted to go to the concert.  How mean her brother WAS for not agreeing to take her, she couldn't stop herself and her best friend from going.  Fear not, she knows what she is doing and will text when she is safely settled into the seats so I won't worry about her!

I aptly stepped into the role of psycho [which a daughter has accused her mother of on more than one occasion].  

OMGosh, the competition.  Everything was choreographed and timed to perfection like carefully laid out dominoes [which I never mastered for real].  Now I had to call my mom to tell her that I wouldn't be dropping off the one daughter, but that didn't mean that all other plans were in play:  they still needed to pick up the younger daughter at her soccer game at precisely 7:30 p.m.  Of course, I had to wait for her to come to the entrance of her seniors building after riding the elevator down.  

SOURCE:  Allan Sanders


That was fine because like any fierce general faced with combat, I was barking on the phone to the Stephanie mother, who was proudly informing me that she had done her part of the carpooling to the concert since her daughter was so graciously invited to share with mine, apparently, picking them up when it was over after my competition!

My competition!  Less than an hour and a half.  Fat chance for rehearsal before the stage.  Hey, I couldn't make it!  I had to retrieve my daughter from the concert.  I was going to teach her a lesson.



Don't mess with the mom
Everyone knows this.  Wisdom about staying away from Grizzly bear mothers with her cubs is common knowledge!

Unfortunately for daughter, she wasn't aware of doing anything wrong.  She had left me a note, made carpooling arrangements, all without interfering with the original plan.

She had a phone!
Imagine me texting from the pulled over spot I was at [setting the appropriate example, important at all times, as though children and grandparents have CCTV capabilities that weren't even installed, or not yet, or were they?  Ensuring mannerly conduct complimenting the polished, professional suit I was in that said:  

"I mean business!"

Back in that early dawn of the new Millennium of the early 2000s, it likely was a Blackberry, the clear badge of honor most YUPPIES grasped and carried, or hooked on our waists with the blazer casually tucked aside, like a police firearm, the Blackberry.  No professional parent of an honorable upbringing child would NOT have a Blackberry!  

Also, we didn't have SMART PHONES where we could thumb or swipe maps and itineraries with merely a flick!  We were thumb champions, children of the 60s, Yuppies of the 80s!

I did my best to appear "calm" in my text to said daughter to ask her where she was, trying to appear casual, avoiding betraying at all costs, the combination of rage and panic:  my baby is at a concert without parental attendance!

Surely, they would ask for ID or notice that the name on the ticket was in her brother's name?  You ask?  Well, back then, they were not email confirmations with all the pertinent information like NAME of purchaser, concert seat, which could have easily have been printed out again under any circumstances!

Imagine the parking at the Calgary Saddle Dome.  Darn, I couldn't just pull up as a drop off, I had to pay for parking, look for parking, park, then hoof it to the entrance.

Heaven and mercy.  At least the son has a remarkable memory!  He recalled an approximate location of the seats, which he observed where pretty amazing, now that he thought of not having them anymore.

The rebellious daughter had not responded to my text.  The nerve!  




I likely gained attention while driving and parking waving my arms and raising eyes to the heavens when telling my buddy, Maddy, what I was in the midst of:  a crisis of massive proportions!  

She graciously offered to let the folks know that I would not be able to compete due to an unforeseen family emergency!  [ How many hear that and think:  "she chickened out"? ]  Well I was thinking about it, but now I had no choice!

I marched up to the security guard at the entrance attracting some attention for wearing a beautiful navy pant suit, perfectly coiffed hair, aesthetically polished nails and tasteful complimenting accessories and matching shoes with purse!

After explaining my situation:  that my daughter had taken her brother's present and come to the concert without my permission or knowledge and I needed to lock in parenting strategy 101:  grab daughter and eject from the concert.

A motley crew we must have appeared:  my five feet zero executive pace, clicking pumps with a purpose in mind.  Accompanied by the security guard who was a big foot Chibawka with less hair, appearing more like a bodyguard.  By then, I was pretty accustomed to flipping eyeballs and raised brows.  



Let's call him George.
While escorting me to the office at the opposite of the building, he asked me for a description of said daughter in case we miraculously crossed paths with the offender.  

Only kids born in the 90s remember "EMO"
which was the opposite of whatever their parents may have happened to look like:  lots of very dark circles around eyes, fashionable hardly ever!  Black clothes:  black jean jacket, black jeans, black t-shirt, with died pitch black hair.  Maybe carrying her pay-as-you-go flip phone for peers to notice, they were more than happening by being at said concert.

George didn't slow his pace after ingesting the description any decent mother would recall what her child looked like for Pete's sake [ nobody says:  "Pete's sake" anymore, you notice?].

He empathetically observed and commented that she would fit right in since she looked like every other concert goer we were speeding past.  



Just as we were approaching the will-call booth to begin closing in on the culprit, I did get a text back [she probably remembered the number one rule she was nagged about when she got her pay-as-you-go-phone:  "always answer the mother, no matter what you are doing, even if on the toilet and asking her to hang on so she could wash her hands").

My daughter's text calmly advised that I should not worry as she is in her seats, safe.  The concert was about to begin.  She'll let me know when it is close to ending so I can swing by and pick them up out front.

They were so advanced technologically at the time:  all I had to do was provide the attendants with my DEBIT CARD [note:  single mother as stated previously.  CREDIT CARDs go better being part of a couple].  My ID was used to verify that I should be a very irate parent.  They were able to verify that the seats were claimed with the tickets.  The speed in response was amazing!

The other security guards were starting to form a circle around me as I waited for the seat details and escort to pick up my daughter.  Trying not to be rude [texting while conversing was unheard of "back then"], I texted to inform daughter that I was in the building, she was going to be surrounded by security guards and her name was going to be said out loud by the act's lead singer, telling her that she should meet her mother at the concourse!  

Never humiliate a child unless you want revenge
She gasped and said that she was on the floor, no longer in her seats, so I wouldn't be able to find her.  By now, I was furiously texting to demand that she give herself up and come out, it wasn't going to end well for her if she didn't.

Smarty pants response was that the concert was just starting and she'd be coming out when it was done.  My response was less composed when I told her to watch for all the guards' flashlights going up and down the aisle.  We knew where the seats were.  She could meet me or we could come and get her.

When caught in an argument with an adolescent child, name calling, threats don't work.  

The show down was set at the replacement for the Corral in Calgary, the Saddle Dome.

The stadium was blacked out with the exception of George and I carefully avoiding taking a tumble, with a flashlight guiding him and his hulk blinding me.

She wasn't there!  

We went back to the concourse as my thumbs were warmed up and I reminded her she should be hearing her name any second before the band started.

Embarrassment is revenge
a parent should enforce.  At 13, being singled out among peers at such a big coolness event with the mention of having a mother, was a disaster worth considering.

She gave herself up.
There was only so much she was prepared to do.  She walked up to me with Stephanie so casually, as if it was a well thought out planned meeting.

"You're coming with me"
George boomed as he grabbed their arms as he started to firmly walk them to someplace he had in mind.  There was no rehearsal on what we would do when they finally gave themselves up.  I was curious somewhat on where we were going, but too puffed up with pride for accosting the culprits:  I was victorious.  I had won.  I had found the stubborn so and so.

Every stadium has a jail
for wayward tweens and teens, originally intended for drunks and obnoxious folks waiting for a trip to downtown.

George took them into the jail
I caught a glimpse of a grey room, more like an arena dressing room without any bars.

George politely asked me to wait outside
I'm sure my look of astonishment wasn't lost on the girls, who may have decided at that precise moment that the fun was done.  They were catching heat of the shocking kind!

After what seemed like a very long time, remembering that everything had been a blur since sailing out of work to glide into my wonderfully planned organizational masterpiece of pulling off being in three places at once.

George came out and whispered to me:  " I really think 'we' got them.  What would you like me to do?  Scare them?"

Masterfully calm parenting
was out the window.  I exclaimed:  "YES!  Make her pay.  She deserves to do the time!"

After promising to come out in a few moments, George hailed another enforcer, motioning another Big Foot Chibawka to join me and wait for a few, he needed help escorting a couple of young girls out of the building.

True to character, the young darling was miffed and annoyed by the time she reappeared.  Declaring to all within hearing (a wide area) directed to George and complaining to me that a big deal was being made out of nothing.

"Nothing?" boomed George, supported by a scowl from his associate.  "Were you not in possession of stolen tickets?" he asked.

"Stolen!?!" she responded.  They were her brother's tickets and they were NOT stolen she declared, indignantly.

"Young lady, did you pay for those tickets?" She immediately glared at me to provide support.  I was quite intimidated by the turn of events and remained quiet.  [Not my strongest suit.]

George then turned, all 6 or 7 foot of over 200 lbs, quite easily two of me or my daughter and I combined and asked me:  "Ma'am would you like me to take this young lady down to the police station for them to do an inquiry on stolen property?"

I gulped and blushed as concert stragglers were being entertained by this scene, suggesting that perhaps that wasn't necessary if she was prepared to come home with me then and at the same time drop her friend off home on the way.

The longest mile
You've seen in the movies where the police escort or bailiff escorts the criminal to jail or to court.  In our case, it was two imposing figures flanking all three of us as they walked with us to the nearest exit.  George asked if we needed assistance to our vehicle and I assured him it wasn't far and we were good to go.  As I turned to lead the girls to the car, George winked at me.

Oh the shame, embarrassment
was the rant the whole drive home, while her friend was frozen in fear to what she may expect when she got home where her mother was waiting.  She had ignored her mother's frantic calls and text messages as well.

After allowing my wayward daughter to exhaust herself from crying and bemoaning how she was going to be the laughing stock when "everyone" heard that her mother had come down to the stadium and hauled her out, narrowly avoiding jail time.

Things were pretty quiet by the time we got home.  Her younger sister perched and ready with her grandmother waiting to hear how her heroine, older sister, rebelled and got caught.

Per normal, the brother had escaped to his corner of the house, where he often went to when he wanted to avoid "the drama" of the girls.

The daughter dutifully brushed her teeth and went to bed without a peep.  Fresh the next day, off to school she went to face the music from her peers.  Respectful, polite and chipper as though what had unfolded the night before was a dream or conjured imagination of events.

Of course, by the time I got home that evening, I had no steam left.  Yet my daughter wasn't apologetic or acting like anything had happened.

After dinner, wash up and after less fuss than usual for what time it was to go to bed [not having the "wait till your father hears this" refrain available as a single mother].

When all was quiet, kids settled and snug in their beds, my daughter crept downstairs to check in and see whether I was gritting my teeth still.

She approached me quietly and then said that she understood what had happened and how things happened the way they did.

She said that I became a hero to all parents who had heard that I hadn't done what they would have done:  wait at home until they got home before going on the offensive.  I was a hero because I went out of my way to prove that she was wrong.  She then chipper-like confessed that she hadn't been embarrassed at all.  In fact, she was a hero for being so rebellious by going to the concert alone.

Sigh.  That was one of the first struggle over power between my daughter and me.  The never ending saga of being the nagging mother, trying to teach right from wrong, good manners and bad.

Like the happy moral of the story that she optimistically revealed of two champions:  a mother and a daughter, each forging their way toward circumstances that required a stand off.  Apparently, both equally glorious.  

After a pink slip and the silent treatment, I did reach out and we had a Facetime conversation last weekend.  Lovingly mother and daughter as though it was all par for the course.  She then texted me a note about an artist that I had unveiled a recognized woman who became famous in the 80s when she passed away, sending her pieces to appreciate in value.  Validating that such was the case.

Then the text and article about how nagging moms raise more successful girls:  from a daughter skyrocketing in her own right as an emerging artist, scholarships, grants and the Dean's list earned solely on her own.







Friday, September 15, 2017

Know the rules before you start communicating



There are often repetitive messages in my Meanderings, and it is rewarding when someone of superior intelligence grasps the meaning behind the messages.

Mike and I began our Social Media journey at about the same time (2010) ::... I was nudged a little harder over the cliff into the abyss slightly before him, and became what I thought as an unlikely mentor to someone who was highly successful and brilliant in his own right -- a successful book launch being a key metric that I recognized early on as a method to delve into credibility online among the endless noise and self-promotion of many self-described "experts".

Steadfast still, I am firmly entrenched in the belief that nobody can define themselves as an expert, no matter how many followers one has.  It is derived from how others describe you:  what do others consider you knowledgeable about is one thing, being credited as an expert quite largely another.

Mike reached out to me a couple of weeks ago via email, one of the few entrusted connections online that have never been derived from a face-to-face meeting at an event, social or association.  Not even a telephone conversation.

Having a virtual or personal conversation with a man who is not a relative, business associate is frowned upon as it can lead "to other things".  However, you can still be disciplined in having rich conversations and exchange of knowledge and learning from others regardless of gender.   There is an invisible line that should never be crossed.  




During a isolated time in my life when I was a regular church attendee, I still recall a message that resonates today from a wise Pastor:  do not be afraid to create friendships or be asked for advice from the opposite gender.  However, there are some areas to stay far from to keep it from falling into a downward, unethical spiral:


  1. Include others in the conversation so that it is not isolated, clustered by only two (the Pastor suggested that he invites his wife to any meeting or event that he wants to avoid falling into the trap of questionable conversations, particularly marriage counselling).
  2. It is okay to sprinkle in nuggets about your life partner, spouse, wife or husband, children, as a distinct flag that you are if not always happy, happiest with the person you are with and have no intention to stray.  Cheating is not at your core values.
  3. Keep it professional so that at any given time, the conversation may be shared with a sibling, friend, child, parent, spouse, partner without any guilt.
  4. Keep the topic off of relationship radars:  particularly complaints about your partner's shortcomings, dissatisfaction with your relationship in any shape or form.  That should be with your church minister or mosque elder.
  5. You can have a respectful, fruitful relationship with a person of the opposite sex, when your radar clearly signals "in a committed relationship with not a sliver of disregard or disrespect of your life partner".
  6. Any of these apply to anyone with leanings towards same sex or transgender relationships.
You CAN have helpful, rewarding relationships with anyone so long as you know your boundaries and it is clearly communicated by not so much by what you say but how you act.







Thursday, August 17, 2017

Happy healing and healthy being

When it seems like all other areas in your life are falling apart, there is only one thing you can possibly control:

HOW YOU REACT!








If you try to be the best person inside, true to your truest character, spectacular vibe and kindness to everyone ~ you HAVE the ability the change not only how you view the world, but also how the world views you.

After facing bullying myself for the first time in my life after turning 56 years old just this past April, I find strength building within me, not without the assistance of my therapist Marjory.

At this prime time age [ NIX the MIDDLE AGE already!] you have earned the right to be who you ARE!

Fashion 911 Board on Pinterest > SOURCE < Link


I'm not saying if you're a guy, you are aspiring to be a character cast permanently henceforth as the "grumpy old guy" or "old perv".  Nor am I suggesting that we women have to resort to comfy shoes only, bloaty tops with massive floral collage intended as a decoy to hide that post-menopausal early trimester pregnancy look [ that MOST women experience regardless of race, color, demographic  [= age + education + where you live], location, living conditions].

You MAY think if you wear those life-weary looks of drooling at really young girls or scowling at their belly buttons showing or deep enough cleavages that makes toe jam look like a speck of dirt.

What about testing my theory?
Be the truest you that you can possibly be!  There is no linkage or printed guides or rule books or user manuals or YouTube videos required.  Totally unique to you, wired closely between the head and the heart.  More close to your identity than your DNA.  You.

Who you were meant to be.
Forget about looking at the past.  Examining and spending so much agonizing energy on what ifs?  You CAN start to be you.  There is NEVER never enough time.  You do not need pocketfuls of money or unlimited VISA limits for shopping or pulling together your look.

Yes, it starts inside.
Nothing more difficult than asking yourself:  "What do you want?"  At my first therapy, recovering anxiety from the bullying experience, Marjory started with that simple question.

Journal til there's no ink left.
That was the instruction.  Start writing and writing and writing.  Regardless of what you are writing.  No judgement, complete privacy, just empty your heart and your head essentially is what I thought it meant.  Yeah, it took me outta my blogging, which has been mostly a release of the brain:  sharing what I know.

Helping people.
That's what I like doing most.  I tend to focus on avoiding the pitfalls that I've had to go through in order to clear the air and focus on moving forward.  By saying forward, I am meaning mostly that you are just .... 




LETTING GO ... 
..... letting go of the past.  With a big picture in mind, putting all the junk in a bubble:  lack of confidence, humble beginnings, shortfall in knowledge (aka lack of formal education), poor body image, horrible childhood, victimization, gender or race discrimination, divorce, violence, bullying, failure, disappointment, hurt ......... put it into the bubble [ aka journal if you need to about that stuff so that you can talk it over with a therapist ~ breaking the rules of letting it go ].  

THE BUBBLE FLOATS AWAY
Bouncing with the tide and blowing with the wind, the bubble has left you behind.  Now what are you going to do?

BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Now that you let all that toxic waste float away in the bubble, what do you have left?  Only YOU.  What does that look like, how do you look?  That's where the "What do you want?" steps in.

What do you want?
You can write and think all you like about lists upon lists of the little things to the gigantic dream.

"The bigger the dream,
   the more the hard work."
  ~ Jeannette Marshall 
    @optioneerJM 

No item too big or too small.
If it is what you want, it is what you want. Remember, in your private journal, it is YOU, it is private, it is between "Me, myself & I" if you need a debate or thrive on controversy go for it.

BIG DREAMS = HARD WORK
There are no short cuts for you skippies out there who like to dart around things and stomp on people to get to where they want to be.  What seems like an overnight miracle are years of perspiration:  that's what I extracted from watching THE NINETIES by CNN where its focus was really about the first kings of technology:  STEVE JOBS and BILL GATES.  Even if you want to lean towards sympathizing with the founders of NETSCAPE, stop it.  They earned millions of dollars on an idea they were able to execute.

EXECUTE ideas.
Don't just talk about it, give your ideas away, or work for a company who will gladly swipe that idea under the umbrella of corporate regulations and employment contracts:  what you create there becomes their property.

Life is unfair.
Get used to it.  Heck, if you're in your 40s or beyond you should know this by now and stop talking about it or how luck evaded you.

GET THINGS DONE
 Getting things done requires elbow grease or perspiration or agonizing or choices.  Checking things off mental lists that surface in the middle of the night when you are longing for slumber.  EXECUTE. Complete.  Finito.  Bon Voyage.  NEXT? Get'er'done already!

I got ahead of myself again, per usual.  Jump forward, bending sideways, and sometimes losing the very important point.  I guess that is the part of blogging that I really enjoy:  helping others and exhausting those thoughts that don't fit into a journal and may be better to share.

When I wrote what I wanted, it wasn't about material things, I am very fortunately married to Hunkster Hubster which I appreciate most days [ trials and tribulations of married life is normal ].  Sure, I'd love a much bigger house in a tropical locale with the web my biggest tool [ or hammer, depending upon my mood ].  

FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE
Was what I thought I really wanted.  Until you try it, you don't really realize or appreciate how difficult that is.  I think it was Oprah Winfrey probably in the 90s who got everyone thinking about having a GRATITUDE journal, whereby you wrote about what was positive that happened that day.  Even as you wake up, you can write down what you look forward to that day.

COGNITIVE BEHAVIOR 
I am at the very early, formative stage of doing cognitive behavior development.  With my baby toe on my right foot touching the tip hesitantly.  I hardly think it is possible without emptying the brain and the heart of anything toxic, and placing it in the bubble to float away.





Happy healing and healthy being,

Jeannette xo

Wednesday, April 12, 2017

Make new friends, love the old




one is silver and the other GOLD
as I grow each older, the more appreciative I've become of so many wonderful experiences to be blessed with, never for a moment taking any of it for granted.

working one's self to the core 
doesn't do anyone favors (p.s. in Canadianese the American favors is favored by spell check, but we Canadians taught articulation in the late 60s and the early 70s were blessed with the very big gift of expression. ..... :: anywayyyyyyyyyyyyyys [an 80s term for those yuppies still out there, and the Millennial wannabes ::.... how things have evolved eh?

In the folds of being born of the 60s
like wallflowers to the Baby Boomers, we observed, we absorbed the best parts, we have held our composure, and now we are parents of the gift to our generation:  the gift of the Millennial Bloom.  

We're pretty lucky
even though if you paid attention to statistics and stereotypical behavior, those born in the 60s were pre-packaged to lean towards failure.  If you think stereo-typing is dangerous, especially to mental health, think of the resilience and tenacity of anyone you know, been lucky enough to have met, or heaven help you if you're an offspring.

A beacon of light
to the Millennials is their embrace of the 80s culture.  Is it because there is a soul connection of what those of us in our 20s in the 80s aligned with what our own Millennials are facing.

Where optimism can be restored
when you think of what great things, events, game-changers occurred in the 80s, introduced back then, every day now.  

Boxers who come out of the corner
jumping into the obstacle ahead, head of, crouched in readiness to take the offensive with hardly a sniffle and long before a drop of sweat.  That would define those who lived their 20s in the 80s.  

I graduated from college in the 80s
and it was a great platform to launch a career.  Not limited by the restrictive curriculum, more persevering to land beyond the world of conformity, censorship, polite manners, poise and abloom with everything is impossible, we may as well make the impossible possible.


I notice some really talented folks out there.  Some that mere names crossed paths with me.  What a crazy, crazy CRAZY time, when I think back to it.  With gurgling reflection caught and captured from my conversation with my mother this afternoon.

Being the parent of a Millennial
is a worrisome, full board, attentive preoccupation.  You revel is the brilliance shining from your child born, first in 1989, with the others to follow in the 90s.  

We're lucky so they are lucky
as well.  Like skipping stones across a glass-like lake or quietly lapping ocean shore.  We may have been born in inopportune times, faced some pretty insur-mountable odds.  What we share is that grasp of not expecting anything for free, without commitment, not always sacrifice [ often by choice ] understanding the basic rightful work ethic:  

* work hard
* work honestly
* work with integrity
* be known for your word without all the numerous
* be committed to quality
* whatever you do, do it with pride
* love who you do it with, who you're surrounded by
* do your best always, it always pays off in spades

A dog eat dog world 
began with the Baby Boomers with entitlement mastered by GenX.  Where those born of the 60s, grew in the 80s, parents of the Millennials >> skipped >> over the hay days and landed in the middle of the first recession since the 1929 stock market crash [ if you do not know anything about this historical event, pause this article and go find out about it .... as my commitment to you as a blogger, you read ] we had to survive.  Really not much opportunity to learn as funds dried up and kids had to go leave post-secondary because their was some sort of crisis in their lives, with their family, that took more important measure instead.

Learn from your elders
as much as you can.  No time will be wasted.  I can guarantee that!  Talking to my mother, with so many wise words shared.  I even said to her:  "I hope I remember all of this for when I write later".  The gift of her wisdom was shone brightly upon me, like a face of a flower blooming forward towards the sun.  

I was a sponge in the 80s
that was my greatest gift.  I only had a college diploma, not even a university degree.  It was enough to teach me discipline and that anything worthwhile doesn't come free, without commitment and stick-to-it-ness that is just emerging within the Millennial generation.  

Millennials have faced fear
reflected in their parents eyes.  A strong, tough upper lip, and a straight spine.  We weren't even considering weakness, with goals clearly defined in our line of vision.  

Dedication, optimism ~
contagiously positive attitudes were bestowed upon our offspring.  Whether they grasped those sprinkles of enlightenment and hung on to the best qualities we shared.

Nobody is perfect
and neither is anyone who defines themselves as a Yuppie.  [ Or admits in select company and trusted members ] Who wear it as an emblem of pride, saying "who cares?" if they still have enough hair left to grow a mullet, why not?

As the Millennials groan
and tsk tsk with embarrassment to their very influential peers.  What their peers think of them is more important than their parents, their boyfriend, or their employer slash / boss could ever dream.  A peer sets the benchmark and the height of the peddle stool they are awarded, acclaimed, worshiped or refrained.

Be still thine parental heart
it is just a mutation of your chromosomes, evolved and collided with nature and environment to form an independent being, an individual.  I know it is very hard.  Like a moth does to a butterfly without the loss of the moth, is the butterfly allowed to form.

Be glad, be proud and be boastful
toward anyone who'll listen.  Those are the ones you want to be around.  They can relate, or your words resonate with them.

Unlike my mom's words
this afternoon.  They were so wise, so enlightening ... almost as though I was leaving a cocoon.    While I'd been living these 55 years, I was enclosed in a small outlook, not looking far beyond to where flowers bloom and the sun's flower is warm with a gentle wind, with an iced tea at my elbow.  I'm careful I don't give it a nudge to topple it over as I tap, tap, tap with the rhythm of my 1979 typing class on an electric typewriter.  Graduating exceeding 120 clicks minutes  ::.... now WHAT was it called back in those days when we took our speed tests on a manual typewriter?  Hmmmm I think it was ... nope not characters per second, or any variation of the Times New Roman font that was the only letters to be had, to write a letter, draw up an agreement or a contract.  

Some of us grew up with carbon copy
yet how many know what that material is?  What it is like to try to avoid staining your fingers on the sticky substance on its back with a wrapping-paper thin or thinner-than-onion paper thin [ I'm sure Google can show you what either of those things are .... if not, Wikipedia for sure ].

This is a story for those 
who remember the glory of being a yuppie.  Bringing in the 80s as we all turned 20.  That is a pretty unique identifiable experience, a uniqueness we can own.  A significant contribution to our society came from our decade.  [ you may have to dig back to my other INBETWEENERs blog (before we evolved to be called "YUPPYDOM" ) mere weeks ago I wrote about those who graduated from the 1960s and became icons of our time.  Across borders, beliefs, colors, race or country, the class of the 1960s born are unique with much to boast about.

Keep steady on the present.
Slam the door or gently close the past.  Forget about the future because it isn't anything you can touch right now.  So you may as well be aware of the present and make every moment count!






where everything is impossible, 
we may as well make the 
impossible possible

~Jeannette Marshall