Thursday, July 30, 2015

Know thyself before thy marries

Seriously considering your life mate?  How does one really know?  I recommend you take a trip and travel with the man of your dreams ... see how he reacts over airport security, flight delays, luggage mishaps, hotel shortcomings, bathroom usage, where dirty clothes end up, eating schedule/choices, all-inclusive aka free drinks galore, babes in bikinis (gawker or glancer), packed airline, uncomfortable beds, seats; and just about anything else that spells disillusion or disaster.

I am constantly preaching to my 21 and 22 year old beautiful daughters that now that they're beyond puppy love or perceived deep love of their teens, relationships get more complicated as we take on more responsibilities in life:

  • EDUCATION:  University, training,
  • Commitment:  work, schedules, work out
  • Spending time with family
  • Moving out on your own
  • Extra curricular golf, hockey, football, TV channel surfing, remote controlling gamers
  • Money matters (going for dinner means you always pull out your wallet)
  • Temptations:  alcohol, drugs, fast lifestyle
  • Sleeping habits (blanket hog, snorer)
  • Friends (need a lot of boys nights out?)
  • Couple friends (healthy ones)
  • Goals in life
Those are all beyond the recommended conversations therapists, experts say you should have.  I knew of a guy who was engaged for a couple of years and when they were finally setting the date for the nuptials, he found out she never, wouldn't, ever have kids.  That was the opposite of his spectrum.  He was getting married because he had thought he had met the ideal mate to parent with and that was his reason for getting married:  to have kids.  In desperate reaction and panic, he started to host singles parties.  The guest list were single, eligible ladies, young or same age, in his own version of speed dating:  line them up and check them out.    I fell of the radar willingly and never did find out how his wife made the grade.  Yes, he's a dad and even goes by the title of Dadpreneur (not an uncommon title if you start trying to narrow down the likely suspect). 

This particular fellow probably had himself as priority in all boxes for ticking off.  Spend time with me, move where I want to be, my friends, my goals, my lifestyle.  I'd be surprised if he wasn't a blanket hog and snorer which means dearly beloved move yourself on to the couch if it bothers you when you aren't giving birth, getting up in the wee hours, to tend to his offspring.  The only pictures with the chip off the old block are photo ops where he looks like the world's best dad, meanwhile flying around promoting himself.

No, lol, I didn't marry him and that doesn't describe me.  Sometimes our radars are on high alert and we can sniff a doomed partner from a mile away.  Then why do we sometimes end up with someone so different that fit into our criteria?  Philosophical and spiritual leanings tend to say it is fate.  We sometimes fall for someone who reminds you of your father (mother) who you weren't that close to, but because we want a second go at it.  Chances are the qualities you dislike in your father will be cloned in that man of your perceived dreams.

I suggest you heed the warning that if drinking in a club brought you together, that may be the major activity you share.  Romantic notions of snuggling to watch Rom-Coms are ditched by speed, gun slugging, car speeding action movies (which is okay if you're into that ... if not, get used to it).

I recommend you pay attention to the little things....because the thoughtful gifts, flowers, candlelight dinners dim drastically by the second year.   Be skeptical that he is courting you and it may not last forever.  The acrobatics in bed can turn into napping on the couch and the Honey-DO list that never gets done.   Hope and prayer ... and then be thankful for the thoughtful consideration he pays towards you.  Don't fall for the looks, fall for the behavior.  Who wants to be with a man you have to fight over the mirror with? 

A tinkerer is great.  They're always fooling around with a tool and home to do it.  They are not as boring as you think.  He can whip up Thanksgiving Dinner, gravy and all, leaving you to set the gorgeous table, do the inviting, and look refreshed and relaxed to enjoy the wonderful spread ... not washed out, beaten, tired from spending all day in the kitchen.  Why is it that men who can cook look vibrant, have a sense of humor, fun side and care for others.  That's not macho some say?  Well the macho, testosterone is sexy and most appealing up to around your 40s but can be boring long long before then.

A caregiver is sexy.  He is up at the crack of dawn, rarely breaks a sweat and always be counted on to show up to work regardless of the sniffles, a bruise tooling around, or slicing his finger making you a key lime pie from scratch or a lime cocktail (one or two, not a dozen).  He has a job, a career, and a vision of who he wants to be and where he wants to end up.  He's not coasting from one room mate to the next, over staying his welcome, and moving on because he owes favors, money or both.

Why are you reading this for heaven's sake?  You know better girl.  You don't expect a man who will be so rich and into himself that he only needs a trophy.  You want to be someone, make a difference in your field, your passion, your career, your family.  Don't blame yourself that you only want a partner who wants to rise above it all and make a life you love and love living. 

"Courage is not the absence of fear; it is action in the presence of fear.  Bold people do what they know they should do -- not what they feel like doing."
                           ~Joyce Meyer

Yep, so get to it.  Stop imagining what you want:  remember that saying that goes along with the line of things happen to those who are busy doing, not making plans.

Wednesday, July 29, 2015

#FAST forward force

Hitting the big 5-0 rarely seems like a breeze for anyone.  Mid-life crisis, empty nest syndrome, sagging muscles, self realization, and a great number of thoughts float through our inner peace.  When you are in your teens your are into the moment, 20s into the future, 30s survival, 40s breeze and 50s panic. 

Pablo Picasso

When you arrive in this point in your life, your self conscious goals leep into your present mind, to question whether you have accomplished what you were thinking you would by now, while young enough to still regroup and make the most of life.

Realization that health is paramount strikes like a snake ready to bite you.  Have you looked after yourself as well as you could of?  Are you happy in love with your partner and content to sail through to your twilight years with your choice.  Or, become restless wanting to be who you are meant to be.

Younger people think you are OLD by now - and that insults you.  Do you try to make up for that by stylizing yourself to look hip, happening and carefree?  What about settling in to the present, give yourself credit for the multiple of hurdles you've overcome to arrive at where you are instead of bitterness towards life, people, events?  You cannot change the past and you can't predict the future.  You can only control what you do today in this present minute.

You have it within yourself to make decisions of magnitude proportions.  Wipe the slate clean.  Forget the unforgettable.  Forgive the unforgiveable.  Move forward towards the unknown with an optimism that will most likely extend your life, settle your restlessness and guide you to make a difference today.

If you MUST.  Do an inventory.  Not materialistically, because that is a losing battle.  The likelihood of winning the lottery is unrealistic.  Think of your parents, relatives, and consider them in their 70s and 80s and if lucky beyond.  Did the turmoil in their younger years settle down and gracefully guide them?  Do you recognize their  wisdom to know what can be done now, in the present?  Do you listen?  Learn from that reflection.  It will give you strength to embrace all the great things you have and may be in store. 

 Grasp you spirituality, write, enjoy art, photography, and all those things that bring you inner joy.  Color, doodle, go for walks in a park and breath in the air, enjoy the fresh smell of cut grass.  Spend every spare moment with friends and loved ones who bring you joy. 

You are no longer in a space in your life where you are judged by your accomplishments as much as by how you look -- exuding optimism, not regrets, making others want to be in your sphere.  Wisdom is yours to dispense, don't waste it on anyone who doesn't want to listen.  Even if you know that they are on a rocky road and understand that there is nothing you can do to prevent it.  Be there to listen, give advice when only asked. 

You've made it this far and many others consider you young.  Don't waste your time on anything or anyone who  makes you feel old.   Don't deny your age by behavior that shouts to the world that you are having trouble dealing with it.  The world doesn't care.  It is your issue.  Recoup and file away that fight for eternal youth.  Appreciate you have arrived where you are from pain, regrets, disappointments ... let go of the heart's battle scars. 

Homage to Pablo Picasso by John Nolan

Be creative in your zone.  Write, blog, take photography lessons, a financial course ... whatever floats your boat.  It is only your's to embrace.  You have the power and force to sail through this phase regardless of the bumps you had to reach it.  Understand and be empowered knowing and observing that others are climbing those past hills, that you survived and brought you survival.  Be proud of who you are.  Forgive if you haven't been the inventor, psychologist, artist, writer, business whiz you thought you were or would continue to be.  You have a roof over your head, love in your heart, food in your belly and innovation to be whimsical.  Aging forgives that and allows you to do that.  You are no longer in judgment mode, you are in being mode.

You haven't arrived at your destination.  You are still on a journey.  How you handle it will determine the strength of character you possess.  Be a positive inspiration to those around you who marvel at your grace, class, and distinction.

"Age is an issue of mind over matter.  If you don't mind.  It doesn't matter."
                                                        ~Mark Twain

Pablo Picasso

Sunday, July 26, 2015

Minions Mayhem

Minions are everywhere.  Even creating mayhem in McDonald's commercials and even snuck into corporate ads.  Everyone wants to get in on the fun, apparently.

I had fun surfing and looking for minion photos and quotes that I could relate to that tells you a lot about me:

You've been warned

I'm not a morning person and tend to roll around, if time permits, for a couple of hours before I get out of bed
Someone had me in mind when they created this one.

I believe this to be true, so true.
Who hasn't done this?  We should laugh at ourselves.
You can control who you surround yourself with and they should accept and adore you.  If not, turf them.
A note to my loving family .... particularly my kids xo
You can relate to this if you have teenage and young adult kids

What a positive message.  I do try to be a perfectionist so this pokes fun at me!

Wise advice to those who love us and "try" to understand women.

Slash will be coming to Calgary at the Grey Eagle resort with Miles Kennedy
A fun social media share for Mondays


This has been repined many times on #Pinterest

Can you imagine having one of these?

Poking fun at advertisements

I'm a BIG fan of Johnny Depp and his Jack Sparrow character is classic in  Pirates of the Caribbean (filming the 5th installment in Australia right now!)

Great question!

Need for speed:  I tend to go over the speed limit ... GUILTY!


I love dark roast in my French press - the only way to have coffee

True that:  don't mess with me, when I have "the look"

Giggle, snicker, chuckle

Rarely would I think that because I don't tend to waste my time with those who whine all the time


Everyone loves a snow day break, admit it?

Monday, July 13, 2015

Ode to cowboys

The Calgary Stampede ended today.  New winners, new friends, and many good times surrounding the rodeo.   Executives, administrators, parents and kids transform back from the buckles, jeans, boots and hats.

To pay tribute to the life of a cowboy, I wanted to share some cowboy prayers, quotes, lyrics and poems that celebrate this unique culture:

The Cowboy
by Garth Brooks
Pushin horns weren't easy like the movie said it was
And I don't recall no dance hall girls
Or hotel rooms with rugs
You worked hot and tired and nasty
Rode your pony's head too low
There were all the nights you couldn't sleep
'Cause it was too damn cold
And you'd sing "Strawberry Roan" and "Little Joe"
Like the time we hit the river
And the rains began to fall
And the water was risin' so damn fast
We thought it'd drown us all
We lost a lot of steers that day
And four to five good mounts
But when all the boys rode into camp
We knew that's what counts
And we sang, yippie ti yi yay and "Amazing Grace"
Or the night they broke behind us
And then took us by surprise
I whistled out to Bonner, I seen the terror in his eyes
And he rode for all his horse would ride
And I know he done his best
But he crossed over Jordan ridin' Dunny to his death
And we sang "Bringing in the Sheaves" and "The Rugged Cross"
So when you see the cowboy, he's not ragged by his choice
He never meant to bow them legs
Or put that gravel in his voice
He's just chasin' what he really loves
And what's burnin' in his soul
Wishin' to God that he'd benn born a hundred years ago
Still singin' "Strawberry Roan" and "Little Joe"

After the noise of the midway, the cheers of "YeeHaw" have quietened, and the 10-day cowboys and cowgirls are snug in their beds, the real cowboys and cowgirls go back to their way of life, until the next rodeo.  It is a cowboy's life.

Tuesday, July 7, 2015

Fresh is a good look on anyone

"A girl should be two things:  classy & fabulous"
~Coco Chanel
Yesterday I was in the mood to explore - find a flea market, garage sale or second hand shop.  Instead, I got as far as a Drug Mart.  You can't even get into the store itself without being sequestered into the beauty department with a young gal who had probably not see the light of 20 yet.  That was okay, because I needed a new foundation and was in a patient mood to be a guinea pig to find one.  It had to complement my combination, sensitive skin, and avoid a break out.
I did find a few things I thought I would share ... you'll notice I strayed from my original purchase a few times.  That's normal for women in a drug store.  Going in, with one intention and coming out with over a hundred dollars worth of "necessities" extra.  The secret is to bring along a large purse so they aren't carried in with the groceries by your husband.
I did say I was in the mood to explore.  So explore I did.  I actually liked the intimacy of this beauty concept over going to a big department store where the girls are trying to trap you into trying either a new perfume or makeover.  There was no crowd.  Just me and this ivory skinned beauty who only had on a great foundation and well manicured lashes.  Freshness in all its glory that has been behind me for a few years. 
Now that I hit my 50s, it doesn't mean I don't like a clean fresh look.  There is nothing worse than seeing a much older lady plastered with makeup, lip liner that is four shades darker than her lipstick with a Marilyn Monroe wannabe look, puffy hair and claws that just seem to irritate the hell out of me when I see it.  Nor does san makeup imply you take yourself seriously on the inside out.  You can be classy.
I must have tried at least 8 different foundations with my beauty guardian at my side, patient and helpful.  I hit eureka with a great combination compact by Clinique.  It glides on like a second skin while evening out the tones and not cracking with my smile lines (words for wrinkles).  It includes SPF 15 and comes in an elegant case with mirror and sponge. ($32 U.S.)

Described by Clinique as: A light cream with a powdery finish, our compact makeup creates more even-toned skin, instantly. Shades for Very Fair, Moderately Fair, Medium, Deep. 
You can check out their website to see more reviews like these ones:

 You cant tell that I even have make up on because it looks so natural - yet it covers flaws! Love this stuff :)
 I love the way it evens my complexion out and lasts all day 
Since I had found a terrific foundation, I got into the groove and asked my beauty guide on her suggestions for a concealer.  Concealer can be a battle for any woman who shows laugh lines (aka wrinkles) or having trouble with sleep patterns brought on by menopause resulting in dark circles as a curse.  They can be amplified when you try to put on a concealer that fills in on the cracks of expression lines (aka wrinkles) or too light they make you look like you were in the sun with sunglasses on because of the stark contrast around the eyes and the rest of your face.
My first purchase was not too expensive, however, it did indicate that quality is important to me (neither was it apparent that she could remotely relate to dark circles). You'd think that the beautician may hunker down in her territory. She didn't.  She came back with a duo concealer from Physician's Formula called "Concealer Twins 2 in 1 Correct and Cover Cream Concealer" ($11.99 U.S.)
If you're like me and always wondered what the difference is  between the colors for concealers their website suggests:
  • Yellow hides dark under-eye circles and other bluish skin discolorations
  • Green corrects red blemishes and scars.
  • Light covers yellow and any minor skin imperfections
Heck, what'd-you-know!
Sounds like I am a schizophrenic shopper?  Yes, at least easily distracted in the beauty department.  I had really got into the swing of things: squirting perfumes randomly (I do have a rule that I don't buy a perfume the same time I try it.  I like to see how the aroma lingers with my natural scent).   My  graceful guardian glided over to perfumes to share one of the season's biggest hits:  Narciso Rodgrues for Her
Experts suggest that you shouldn't try on any more than 3 perfumes and often there are coffee beans to sniff in between to avoid blending fragrance.  You are often given a clever marketing tool of a slip of paper with the brand and perfume sprayed on.  I let my nose tell me later on.  The scent that is memorable is the one that will complement my own aroma.

The winner, not really a surprise, as I lean towards being a fan of Chanel (how can you tell?) was "Chance".    Chanel's description for the $97 U.S. 3.4 FL.OZ. Eau de Toilette:

It's your chance . . . TAKE IT! A decidedly young scent for those who dare to dream. A light, subtly sensual fragrance, filled with vitality and energy, evolves from one moment to the next, each wholly unique.

Pretty much described how I wanted perfume to transform me.  I did leave the scent behind even though it lingers today -- I will definitely be going back to my beauty cupid and buy it this weekend.  (With more treasures perhaps?)
Lipstick was next.  I was looking for something that wasn't too red or pink.  More along the lines of coral.  I outdid myself trying on just about every product and hit lipstick heaven with Shiseido's "Temptress"  ($25 U.S.).  Ha! What a name.  Not only that, it slid on my lips so wonderfully you could tell that it was packed with moisturizer. 
Being of the older fashionista variety, moisturizing lipstick is a must.  If lipstick tends to bleed on you, like me, a matching lip liner is helpful.  Just don't be a dunce and have your lip liner too many shades darker because everyone can tell it is a poor attempt at looking like you have fuller lips.  A medium tone can do that naturally. 
Doing the background on this blog, I did read the reviews on Shiseido which were not perfect.  Many, like me, adored the moisturizing effect.  Unfortunately, they often said that it wears off easily.  Other's suggested wearing it as a gloss over another lipstick.  I'm sure there are cheaper lip glosses out there.
Another thing I learned while going to the various sites: they have discounts and coupons along with the reviews, of course.  Then again, doing the research beforehand takes a lot of the impulsive-out-of-shopping-for-cosmetics and trying them on experience.  On the other hand, if you combine the two, trying on and going to the brand website, you can surf for coupons, free shipping, on your own.
Bethany Hamilton
I do recommend you pay for your goodies at the beauty counter.  You will help your goddess be credited for the sale (not all have establishments pay commission yet often have performance metrics).  I boldly asked for any samples "since I had made a substantial purchase" on a quiet day.  She bundled me up with a cute tasseled Chloe cosmetic bag to host my new treasures (and hide the expenditure from hubby).  Along with that, she tucked in a purse size Narciso Rodriguez for Her.  Smart girl.  Not only was the perfume going to linger, the pleasant experience will now too.
I had also bought some Clinique mascara that is promoted for lash growth as a result of my Eyelash Extension adventure (more like nightmare).  I'll write about how good the magical mascara is along with an eyebrow cosmetic another time.  I've got a few chores to do to make up for the guilty escape.