Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label depression. Show all posts

Monday, November 6, 2017

Mental health diagnosis : anxiety



Causes

Researchers don’t know exactly what brings on anxiety disorders. Like other forms of mental illness, they stem from a combination of things, including changes in your brainand environmental stress, and even your genes. The disorders can run in families and could be linked to faulty circuits in the brain that control fear and other emotions.



Diagnosis

If you have symptoms, your doctor will examine you and ask for your medical history. She may run tests to rule out medical illnesses that might be causing your symptoms. No lab tests can specifically diagnose anxiety disorders.
If your doctor doesn’t find any medical reason for how you’re feeling, she may send you to a psychiatrist, psychologist, or another mental health specialist. Those doctors will ask you questions and use tools and testing to find out if you may have an anxiety disorder.
Your doctor will consider how long and how intense your symptoms are when diagnosing you. She’ll also check to see if the symptoms keep you from carrying out your normal activities.

Treatments

Most people with the condition try one or more of these therapies:
  • Medication: Many antidepressants can work for anxiety disorders. They include escitalopram (Lexapro) and fluoxetine (Prozac). Certain anticonvulsant medicines (typically taken for epilepsy) and low-dose antipsychotic drugs can be added to help make other treatments work better. Anxiolytics are also drugs that help lower anxiety. Examples are alprazolam (Xanax) and clonazepam (Klonopin). They’re prescribed for social or generalized anxiety disorder as well as for panic attacks.
  • Psychotherapy: This is a type of counseling that addresses the emotional response to mental illness. A mental health specialist helps you by talking about how to understand and deal with your anxiety disorder.
    • Cognitive behavioral therapy: This is a certain type of psychotherapy that teaches you how to recognize and change thought patterns and behaviors that trigger deep anxiety or panic.

What to Expect From ADHD and Anxiety

When you have anxiety along with ADHD, it may make some of your ADHD symptoms worse, such as feeling restless or having trouble concentrating. But anxiety disorder also comes with its own set of symptoms, like:
Anxiety disorder is more than just having anxious feelings from time to time. It's a mental illness that can affect your relationships, work, and quality of life.

How to Tell Your ADHD and Anxiety Apart

Sometimes, anxiety comes as a result of ADHD. When that's the case, your worries are often about how much -- or how little -- you're able to get done. You're anxious about or overwhelmed by your ADHD.
When you have anxiety disorder on top of your ADHD, your worries are usually about a wide variety of things and not only tied to your ADHD struggles.
Talk to your doctor so the two of you can figure out where your anxiety is coming from. Some questions they may ask you are:
  • Do you worry about things that don't make sense?
  • Do you have a hard time controlling these worries?
  • Are you getting good sleep?
  • Are your fears and worries keeping you from doing your regular activities?
  • Do you feel anxious at least three to five times a week for an hour or more a day?
  • Have you had a big life event happen recently?
  • Do any of your family members have a history of anxiety?

How to Treat ADHD and Anxiety

To zero in on the best way to treat ADHD and anxiety, your doctor will likely look at which condition affects you the most. It's possible that your treatment for ADHD may ease your anxiety, so you may only need to take ADHD medication.
When you get treatment for ADHD, it can:
  • Cut your stress
  • Improve your attention so you manage tasks better
  • Give you mental energy to handle anxiety symptoms more easily
If your anxiety is a separate condition and not a symptom of ADHD, you may need to treat both disorders at the same time.
Some treatments can work for both ADHD and anxiety, such as:

Effects of ADHD Medication on Your Anxiety

The most common drugs that doctors suggest for ADHD are stimulants like methylphenidate and amphetamines. Even if you have anxiety, these meds may work well for your ADHD.
Anxiety is a common side effect of stimulants. Your doctor won't know how a medication will affect you until you take it, but it's possible stimulants may make your anxiety symptoms worse.
If that's the case for you, your doctor may suggest other medicines, such as the nonstimulant drug atomoxetine (Strattera).
Your doctor may also recommend antidepressants like:
High blood pressure drugs like clonidine (Catapres, Kapvay) and guanfacine (Tenex, Intuniv) may also help.




CREDIT SOURCE:  https://www.webmd.com/add-adhd/anxiety-adhd-link#2

Thursday, August 31, 2017

A lifetime love affair






Publishing indeed!  
I just adore magazines the same as the way I loved figure skating ... a quick bond and a lifetime love affair.  



August 2017 biggest accomplishment
As August 2017 comes crashing to an abrupt and disastrous halt.   I've taken in some quality movies and series, primarily from HBO. 





 Not surprising that HBO leads the pack (with Netflix nipping at their heels).  Not only was HBO an early disruption to network television, they also proved that there was a sophisticated, educated, and most likely upper income situated, who would flock to quality programs.

No, they didn't just become a reseller, they created content.  It is befitting that their great Game of Thrones is leading the buzz both online and in conversations, dinners, viewing events.




I had taken a sabbatical in life.  Withdrawing unto myself, with a deep reflection on the past.  Ironically, the highest KLOUT ranking than I'd had since KLOUT reinvented itself, causing a free fall of early adopter scores by at least 15 points.

Lucky for many, online marketers don't look at authenticity reinforcement like KLOUT or KRED scores.  That has something that has always puzzled me.  Particularly in Canada:  because these scores establish true influence, define audiences and decipher appeal of a profile.  Just log in with ideally your Twitter handle, then add your Facebook page, your PINTEREST boards and instaGRAMs etc. to connect everything together in one full swoop.

I received a personal email from one of my first real online connections, Mike Lehr, a couple of days ago and struggled with a response.



My greatest accomplishment
in August was achieving the highest mark on Solitaire from my computer.  Talk about mental shut down or just turning off my "give a damn meter" completely.

Granted, the highest mark in Klout Score for about 8 years is remarkable.  What is more amazing is I probably have spent a lot less time online.  

The beacon was there but my cloudy mood wasn't seeing it.  Sunglasses towards life.  Muted, darkened and cloaked in disguise.  Dwelling on the has beens, the should haves in the twilight of life.




Mike made mention of the tag leading him to the conclusion that I write a lot about those of us in our 50s and plus.  It is a fairly closed society I would admit, but not an exclusive one by any means.

Leading the helm being born in 1961:  when, according to either Boom, Bust & Echo or The Popcorn Report, it was the worst year thus far to have lived in.

I started reading about demographics in the early 80s .... I know, that time of YuppyDOM and YuppyHOOD - the stamp of coolness presented in the being you represented.




I admit to being a Yuppy of that era.  I admit to having puffed up bangs and during the week wearing a ladies suit attempting to clamber up the chain of career, not unlike the baby turtles climbing over each other to attempt to escape the pail in which they hatched from their shell.

I do write to so many of us that were born in the middle of bomb shelters and a United States invasion.  Nuclear war seemed eminent between the US and Russia.  The authors of those events, the greatest politicians the world had ever seen:  a storybook tale, among a loving family, loyal brotherhood, beautiful wife and charisma telling stories of hope, pride, and human-kindness to all people of all colors.

One of the few things that Mike said that made me think again:  whether my 50s have been a disappointment?  Uncanny, that love, friendship, life & family have been some of the best I've been lucky enough to have.   It has been the worst in my career in equal proportions.  That is a very frustrating circumstance to be in.  



You have the war stories, can regale heroic accomplishments, awards and rewards but somehow sucked into this hole that, like the turtles is hard to climb out of.

Depression and mental health issues must be alarming for anyone 50 or older.  Unlike your elder Baby Boomer siblings who have glided to the opposite spectrum of life:  Semi retired by 55, kids all university educated (without the debt load) because you were parented by those from the great depression era and had faced huge obstacles to get to the other side:  optimism, reward, recognition, service, loyalty, dedication, beliefs.

In similar fashion, and dipping into my fascination with numbers, I wonder how much financial foresight they had to have by when in order to fulfill many of us others wildest dreams.




Some of us got on a treadmill and forgot what gave us joy.  Too caught up on just making it through another day.  The pressures to not just keep up in the Yuppy attitude:  comparison and competition drive our segment.  Where our children have become entitled and tenacious.  Like Yuppies, Millennials know what is going on in their world:  the threats, the competition, the need for education, striving to get ahead in a very large age group.  

I'm lingering around the 1960s and older who are nipped at the edge of Baby Boomers who had all the best opportunities.  Waiting and learning, we had to observe, ask a lot of question, and act as a sponge, embracing lessons from others' failures, rapt with attention to their climb into iconic status:  Steve Jobs, Michael Jackson (watch it on HBO right now), who are admired and respected, after many years of disappointment, disillusion, accusations, failure.



Steve Jobs and Michael Jackson, the ones before us:  Baby Boomers, taught us valuable lessons and a common understanding:  the higher the achievement, the more likelihood of opposition, targeting, slander, dishonesty, suffering, monetary loss.  

Survival is key
Surviving is a critical characteristic we in our 50s share.  We've faced so many obstacles and had to start over more than once.  Or, had to rethink our own perspective and outlook.  Maybe change how we view the world, banishing bitterness to deep hole of the past.



Rebound, rejoice, rejuvinate
we have the energy to realize we still have a lot of youth in us along with knowledge accumulated by failure or lack of luck.  We've exercised our energy to levels that our technology dependent youngsters have become so reliant on, the likelihood of them being able to read a traditional clock, nondigital form, is rare.  We grew up with the basics, started with the basics, and able to conjure up some pretty cool answers to solving a lot of problems.



Once again, we're faced with much greater of forces of life:  no longer just war, struggle for power, and financial supremacy, today you have to worry about safety, violence, terror, corruption, like never before.

Conditioned as survivors
YUP! We Yuppies can set the tone, raise the bar, lead by example on life's greatest lessons.  In style, polished, educated, ethical and poised as our parents and grandparents instilled in us, not simply taught us.





Thursday, August 17, 2017

Happy healing and healthy being

When it seems like all other areas in your life are falling apart, there is only one thing you can possibly control:

HOW YOU REACT!








If you try to be the best person inside, true to your truest character, spectacular vibe and kindness to everyone ~ you HAVE the ability the change not only how you view the world, but also how the world views you.

After facing bullying myself for the first time in my life after turning 56 years old just this past April, I find strength building within me, not without the assistance of my therapist Marjory.

At this prime time age [ NIX the MIDDLE AGE already!] you have earned the right to be who you ARE!

Fashion 911 Board on Pinterest > SOURCE < Link


I'm not saying if you're a guy, you are aspiring to be a character cast permanently henceforth as the "grumpy old guy" or "old perv".  Nor am I suggesting that we women have to resort to comfy shoes only, bloaty tops with massive floral collage intended as a decoy to hide that post-menopausal early trimester pregnancy look [ that MOST women experience regardless of race, color, demographic  [= age + education + where you live], location, living conditions].

You MAY think if you wear those life-weary looks of drooling at really young girls or scowling at their belly buttons showing or deep enough cleavages that makes toe jam look like a speck of dirt.

What about testing my theory?
Be the truest you that you can possibly be!  There is no linkage or printed guides or rule books or user manuals or YouTube videos required.  Totally unique to you, wired closely between the head and the heart.  More close to your identity than your DNA.  You.

Who you were meant to be.
Forget about looking at the past.  Examining and spending so much agonizing energy on what ifs?  You CAN start to be you.  There is NEVER never enough time.  You do not need pocketfuls of money or unlimited VISA limits for shopping or pulling together your look.

Yes, it starts inside.
Nothing more difficult than asking yourself:  "What do you want?"  At my first therapy, recovering anxiety from the bullying experience, Marjory started with that simple question.

Journal til there's no ink left.
That was the instruction.  Start writing and writing and writing.  Regardless of what you are writing.  No judgement, complete privacy, just empty your heart and your head essentially is what I thought it meant.  Yeah, it took me outta my blogging, which has been mostly a release of the brain:  sharing what I know.

Helping people.
That's what I like doing most.  I tend to focus on avoiding the pitfalls that I've had to go through in order to clear the air and focus on moving forward.  By saying forward, I am meaning mostly that you are just .... 




LETTING GO ... 
..... letting go of the past.  With a big picture in mind, putting all the junk in a bubble:  lack of confidence, humble beginnings, shortfall in knowledge (aka lack of formal education), poor body image, horrible childhood, victimization, gender or race discrimination, divorce, violence, bullying, failure, disappointment, hurt ......... put it into the bubble [ aka journal if you need to about that stuff so that you can talk it over with a therapist ~ breaking the rules of letting it go ].  

THE BUBBLE FLOATS AWAY
Bouncing with the tide and blowing with the wind, the bubble has left you behind.  Now what are you going to do?

BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Now that you let all that toxic waste float away in the bubble, what do you have left?  Only YOU.  What does that look like, how do you look?  That's where the "What do you want?" steps in.

What do you want?
You can write and think all you like about lists upon lists of the little things to the gigantic dream.

"The bigger the dream,
   the more the hard work."
  ~ Jeannette Marshall 
    @optioneerJM 

No item too big or too small.
If it is what you want, it is what you want. Remember, in your private journal, it is YOU, it is private, it is between "Me, myself & I" if you need a debate or thrive on controversy go for it.

BIG DREAMS = HARD WORK
There are no short cuts for you skippies out there who like to dart around things and stomp on people to get to where they want to be.  What seems like an overnight miracle are years of perspiration:  that's what I extracted from watching THE NINETIES by CNN where its focus was really about the first kings of technology:  STEVE JOBS and BILL GATES.  Even if you want to lean towards sympathizing with the founders of NETSCAPE, stop it.  They earned millions of dollars on an idea they were able to execute.

EXECUTE ideas.
Don't just talk about it, give your ideas away, or work for a company who will gladly swipe that idea under the umbrella of corporate regulations and employment contracts:  what you create there becomes their property.

Life is unfair.
Get used to it.  Heck, if you're in your 40s or beyond you should know this by now and stop talking about it or how luck evaded you.

GET THINGS DONE
 Getting things done requires elbow grease or perspiration or agonizing or choices.  Checking things off mental lists that surface in the middle of the night when you are longing for slumber.  EXECUTE. Complete.  Finito.  Bon Voyage.  NEXT? Get'er'done already!

I got ahead of myself again, per usual.  Jump forward, bending sideways, and sometimes losing the very important point.  I guess that is the part of blogging that I really enjoy:  helping others and exhausting those thoughts that don't fit into a journal and may be better to share.

When I wrote what I wanted, it wasn't about material things, I am very fortunately married to Hunkster Hubster which I appreciate most days [ trials and tribulations of married life is normal ].  Sure, I'd love a much bigger house in a tropical locale with the web my biggest tool [ or hammer, depending upon my mood ].  

FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE
Was what I thought I really wanted.  Until you try it, you don't really realize or appreciate how difficult that is.  I think it was Oprah Winfrey probably in the 90s who got everyone thinking about having a GRATITUDE journal, whereby you wrote about what was positive that happened that day.  Even as you wake up, you can write down what you look forward to that day.

COGNITIVE BEHAVIOR 
I am at the very early, formative stage of doing cognitive behavior development.  With my baby toe on my right foot touching the tip hesitantly.  I hardly think it is possible without emptying the brain and the heart of anything toxic, and placing it in the bubble to float away.





Happy healing and healthy being,

Jeannette xo

Monday, November 23, 2015

Footprints in the soil

I was first given the gift of the poem "Footprints in the sand" when I left a company with many friends, advocates and supporters about 15 years ago.  It was the image from the same poem.  Not long after, this poem was chosen by my mother-in-law for the keepsake for a man whom she had been married to for 40 plus years as her farewell gift of love:

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking
along the beach with the Lord
Many scenes from my life flashed 
across the sky.  In each scene I
noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of
footprints, other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed in low
periods of my life, when I was suffering
from anguish, sorrow or defeat, I could
only see one set of footprints.
So I said to the Lord: "You promised me
Lord that if I followed you, you would
walk with me always.  But I noticed that
in my most trying periods of my life
there have only been one set of footprints
in the sand.  Why, when I needed you most
have you not been there for me? 
The Lord replied: The years you have only
seen one set of footprints, my child,
is when I have carried you."





How lucky and amazing it is that one's farewell in unique circumstances and miles apart were given as a gift, as a send off to someone beloved or held dear.

I was thinking,  how lucky one is when there is someone who wants to follow in their own unique path, with the imprint of your wisdom imparted to them.  Really, footprints in the soil.

The soil, because of the wisdom can become deeply rooted in the receiver's philosophy to bloom at times of despair, discouragement and perhaps depression.  We dig deep to find the wisdom of those before us to provide inspiration when we are grasping at something that we are unaware, yet desperately seeking. 

How lucky one is to have someone who seeks your advice and an ear to listen as they sort out their feelings, their goals and struggling for a path or confirmation we are on the right one.  We all wonder.  We all seek guidance.

As we grasp for understanding for what unsettles us, we are seeking that one person who can understand our restlessness.  Fortunate are those who find that person, whether it is a parent, a friend, a sibling, a mentor, spiritual guider or willing advisor.



When we realize that there is someone reaching out to grasp your hand to guide you upon  self reflection and seeking understanding.  Some people don't have that gift to receive.  Others, don't appreciate that they have that gift to give.

Recognize that you have had agony, frustration and strongly desire to extend that guidance.  When it is before you, take it.  Similarly, don't disregard the kind words of encouragement or discredit the accolades that person extends to you.  Remember you are not in the best frame of mind or self-belief.  They may not be bias by love, but objective in understanding.  You just may need those words of encouragement when you find yourself at the bottom of the valley with a mountain of optimism before you that you cannot climb on your own.

Help others plant themselves in the soil of your wisdom.  Don't force upon them your passion for wanting them to avoid the same pitfalls you have found yourself in.  That exuberance may alienate the opportunity for them to absorb your wish for them to avoid the same pain you have experienced.  They have to be willing and accepting of your inspiration.  They will not accept any words of encouragement until they are willing to embrace them.  You may need to repeat those words more than once until they can see it for themselves.

Frustrating as that may seem, the want to clear the soil so that optimism may bloom, patience may be needed.  Hold on dearly to their need to reach out as a small bud would in soil.  You can nurture that need and wet their appetite to your desire to help them bloom.  Reach their fullest potential.  

You cannot force them to see.  No matter how hard you try.  No matter how much you want to help them avoid the pain that you have had.  They will only accept the advice when they are open to it.

Don't take it as disappointment or a sign that your experience isn't worth listening to.  Understand that it will sprout and bloom on its own accord and in its own time.   Sometimes it is delayed, sometimes immediate.  You nor them can bend it to your will.  It happens at the right time.



Yes, you see the flower that is before your eyes. It may be that the flower does not see itself as such because it is merely a sprout and cannot see the beauty that is unfolding.

Patience is wisdom.  Understanding is enlightenment.  When they both meet, wonders can happen.

Neither can embrace it or help it to be without understanding the other's role in footprints in the soil.




Be thankful that you have someone seeking your guidance.  Appreciate that you have someone whom you can reveal your deepest desire for them to reach their maximum potential.  Together, you can uncover what may be hidden in a seed.  Ready to bloom.  Likely to flourish.

"Just as treasures are uncovered from the earth, so virtue appears from good deeds, and wisdom appears from a pure and peaceful mind.  To walk safely through the maze of human life, one needs the light of wisdom and the guidance of virtue."
                                                                                        ~Buddha


Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Check your ego at the door


"Show me someone without an ego, and I'll show you a loser."                                                                                       ~Donald Trump

Oh go blow it out your ear Donald Trump!  My gosh, soon we'll be looking up "ego" in the dictionary and it will show it is synonymous with Donald Trump.   But ... you gotta admit, it works for him.

We can all think of people in our daily lives who should scale back on their ego and show some humility for a change.  However, we tend to admire those same people, forgiving their confidence. What really is the difference between the two?




We talk about balance.  We idolize Ghandi, Mother Theresa, and the Dalai Lama.  I'm happy for that. For while we admire the courage and tenacity of many of our fellowship we tend to tune out their egotisti-cal rants don't we?  Wouldn't we rather be considered to be more like Ghandi or Mother Theresa, giving of ourselves, wisdom and insights to benefit all of humanity?

Social media or internet is certainly not the place where humility resides.  Take a spin through Twitter or Facebook or even a blog and you will read "me or I" far more times than "we or us".


What a complicated world we live in today.  We admire those with the biggest egos, considering it as strength and we take pity on those who fade in the background, overtaken by the mighty.





If anything, take a chapter from our lives and rewrite it.  We can work on our humility and be more caring of others.  That would bring us to the closest thing to true happiness than anything.

We think the world expects us to be strong, confident, self-assured then it throws curveballs at us that make us want to shrivel up and hide.  Why is it that the nicest people are not who come to mind whenever we think of heroes or idols?


Living a life surrounded by those others' egos will only make us feel more disappointed in ourselves.   You must realize that you have the ability to make a change.  You can tune out those people, avoid hanging out with them, avoid listening to their music, their talks, their preaching.
 




Many people have religion to find their inner peace.  Then they go on about their lives listening or hanging out with those pillars we admire.  Break that habit and you will slow down that turmoil that churns within.  You are perfectly fine in who you are.  You are nice, people like you, and you are always reaching out a hand.  It is the ego that asks you why don't people appreciate that quality or acknowledge how meaningful you are.

We take nice people for granted and we look up to those who are always reminding us how great they are.  We are shocked when we find out someone we admire was really warped or severely depressed.  How can we not have known?  It's quite simple.  We're wired to listen to people talk about themselves, their achievements, their money, their power, their glory.  

We avoid those that don't make us feel good about ourselves.  Or, at least we should.  We may, in principle, even take solid steps in doing things and being around people who make us feel good about ourselves.  Those are the people that don't make us feel like we've fallen short, or that we should feel honored by their attention. 


The egotistical don't give us friendship. Heck, we are their fan club.  We bolster their image with our devotion, asking little in return.  Our faces turn upwards and they sense the admiration.  We are to blame for fueling that image.

How can we combat the need to have idols or those to worship?  Knowledge.  If we feed our brains with good nutrition, we will have little thoughts that can strike us down.

So what if you're not tall, or handsome, slim or good in sports.  Everyone and I mean E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E has something that they are good at.  Swipe aside those meaningless people or time wasters that deteriorate confidence, and promise yourself to find your true passion. 



“If you are humble
nothing will touch you,
neither praise nor disgrace
because you know
what you are
~Mother Teresa


Silence those thoughts that jump out to alert you to life's shortcomings and instead fill yourself with views more meaningful. 

Some of the most desperate, depressed geniuses in our time were mere humans who expressed themselves creatively. Think about Ernest Hemingway.  He had a profound impact on literature and jump to knowing he was manic depressive.  How many know that one of his first jobs was an ambulance driver in the first world war?  He left behind his legacy of writing that most likely evolved from his many disappointments of 4 marriages.  It was from multiple plane crashes in Africa, he sustained chronic pain for the rest of his life.

What about Van Gogh?
There are a few things you probably didn't know about Vincent Van Gogh.  He was a serious, silent and thoughtful child.  At one time, he worked as an unpaid supply teacher in a small boarding school.  He wasn't so lucky in relationships.  In fact, he had a domestic arrangement with an alcoholic prostitute. He had a difficult relationship with his religious father and didn't quite measure up to his expectations. Van Gogh was also ill from drink and suffered a smoker's cough. The events that led him to slice off his ear are legend and the stories many.  Sadly, after years of anxiety and frequent bouts of mental illness, he died aged 37 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Wowzers eh?  Here we have a couple of the greatest creative geniuses and we find out that they had  miserable lives.  Sound familiar? 




You don't have to be down in the dumps before real gifts can emerge.  By contrast, we don't have to look far to read or see some reference to Steve Jobs, considered one of our generations, and perhaps history will agree, gift visionaries.  By all accounts, he had a normal, solid upbringing with two loving parents who encouraged his intelligence.   Jobs was no saint by any means.  This is the same man who stole the computer mouse idea from Xerox.  He was as well known by his body odor as he was by his temper.  How many founders can say that they were fired from their own companies they created?  Maybe it was  bad karma for stealing the most of the spotlight from Apple Computer and his co-founder Steve Wozniak 

These examples are written to emphasize that no matter how great someone seems, they may be masters at something, but often less so in their personal lives.  


I don't want to leave the impression that in order to be great, you have to have a little bit of craziness.  What I want to emphasize is that those heroes were mere mortals, with demons and shortcomings.  You are ahead of the game.




Tree Blowing In The Wind by Janell R Colburn

Promise yourself to let go of what is past, as though floating behind the winds of change.  Carve out what matters to you and seek to study it and define your own niche.  

The beauty of this world, is that you can basically grasp so many opportunities.  Take the word "but" out of your vocabulary and don't replace it with "however" either (like me).  Be equally careful with "yet" "nonetheless" or "still".  They are show stoppers.  They are your signal that you are going to say or think something negative.


Get a "Dream Journal". 

Cut and paste the best quotes, inspirations that resonate with you and tack them in there.  Create only one rule:  you only write or keep things that are positive.  Focus on the good and write it down.  You don't have to tell anyone about it.  You don't want to turn it into a brag book either.  We're not talking about a closet ego.  Just finding peace in the now, looking for the things that make you excited by the endless possibilities.  

Doodle, color, or sketch in it if that floats your boat.  This is not a place where ego resides.  You cannot keep regrets, dwell on bitterness, or whine about what could have been -- remember those things floated away in the past by winds of change.


One step at a time, one day at a time.  You have just decided that Ernest can keep his legacy, Van Gogh can stay in museums.  Because you are going to be somebody you decide you want and will be.





e·go·tis·ti·cal
ˌēɡəˈtistək(ə)l/
adjective
  1. excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself; self-centered.
    "he's selfish, egotistical, and arrogant"
    synonyms:self-centeredselfishegocentric, egomaniacal,self-interestedself-seeking, self-absorbed,narcissisticvainconceited, self-important;
    "His/her egotistic lifestyle has alienated many people over the years"