Showing posts with label Jeannette Marshall. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Jeannette Marshall. Show all posts

Friday, October 13, 2017

Want to know what it means to get the PINK slip?

Original content by:*
Jeannette Marshall
@optioneerJM
optioneerJM+
aboutME.com


If you're around my age [ 50 on a good day or 56 on a bad one ] and you have a daughter or niece or granddaughter around the millennial set (is this the Y? Generation? ] fact check [ ) --> i first called it the Y Generation on one of my first INbeTWEENers blog [ via #WordPress ] aka now as YUPPYdom > target audience & readers born 1960 or later, but before the Millennial (otherwise known separately as The Baby Boomers :: those born of the Elvis and 50s era and vibe, became adults of GENX which is sandwiched [aka squeezed] between the Baby Boomers, inBETWEENers (1960-1969) & what I like to  I call the war babies (those babies born after either World War I ] fact check [date when WWI ended?].

Phew, what a mouthful, eh?  Sometimes I get multiple thoughts that run like a freight train, full speed ahead.  It drives a lot of people crazy [the Hunkster Hubster in particular] ::.... sometimes I am telling him something and 2/3 of the way through, I go "um ah" multiple times until he barks at me:  "Um uh!  You didn't finish!  

Luckily for me, and the loyal few, I sometimes take the time to capture some cool moments.  Or, not so cool moments.



The PINK SLIP?

It is when you mess up with your Millennial daughter and she goes ape shit all over you.  If that isn't suffice, she goes into IGNORE mode, and often BLOCK mode.  Thus is the PINK SLIP.

It doesn't seem fair that father's rarely, if ever, get the PINK SLIP.  It seems a
blessing in disguise when the ticked off goes into overdrive.  It is a process.
It is quite inevitable, particularly if you're the "Mother".    Sometimes it can actually be funny, payback for when 2 PINK GIRLS change the Alpha Pink Girl's status under family that "she is adopted".  

That is the distinction between the battle hardy inBETWEENers:  we've been pushing water up hill all our lives [ saying credit to Wade Sparks, former boss and President of a SMB:  Small Medium Business; selling to very BIG companies and running a branch ].

What obstacles don't 1960 to 1965 in particular share with Millennials?  A-LOT!  Remember we were the original hipsters, aka Yuppies, adulting in the 80s [ exact same age as they are in my case - 27(Kyle) etc.  My girls are wise beyond their years and really have some great attributes that I envy if I could only have known back at the same age, how magnificent everything would be.  



YUPPIES:  Eternal optimists
What would this world really be like, if Yuppies weren't born [ other than cult culture of the 1980s skippy high bangs and big hoops and slouch socks with tights, ankle runners, big oversized sweaters, perms galore, fresh eyed trusters after being abolished and quietened by our very loud Baby Boomer siblings [ brother or sister ].   Being the object of teasing at the edge of tormenting their younger, devoted sibling who iconized their every move [ except thinking he is Jimmy Page from Led Zeppelin with his electric guitar and amp turned up to the max, "WAHW.... wahwm .... WAHW" be still my pounding ears:  no wonder I don't like waking up and jumping out of beg:  clear bad memory of when having to do so ].

Yuppies had to prop each other up and really boost each other's morale.  We were either in college or at our first REAL job(s) in the 1980s.  Amidst recessions, world war threats between the US and Russia, joblessness skyrocketed with the increasing temperature of world affairs.  Just graduating from high school, we were surrounded about hostages, capture, and hijacks and we only had the radio or television where we were likely to get our news.  [ Others would say newspapers, but some of us gal Yuppies didn't like how the ink came off on our fingers so we weren't a fan of newspapers but we were the dawn of capitalism in the 1980s, with greed on most corporate executive's manifesto.  Today, layoffs, downsizing, let go, fired, laid off, work force reduction, reorganization, restructuring are more the norm.  

Loyalty has left the atmosphere.  Neither company nor employee get what they want out of the deal and their is a parting of ways.  The Pink Slip was probably coined in the 1980s ] FACT CHECK [.  Another tie in to the nifty headline I was particularly impressed with ( pat on back to Jeannette ).

Another characteristic of those arriving at adulthood, parenthood in that decade is that Yuppies really like recognition.  More sore than any other generation, simply because being sounded out by our louder siblings, who took credit for a clean car [ trick:  ask younger sibling to help wash car and he would drive them around town for "a while"; so you help them and they take you for a drive to main street and back [ in my life, never really that far:: walkable ]. 

So having a Millennial child is about setting and understanding boundaries.  A familiar song we sang as parents coming back full circle upon our ears.  From that really smart child who snaps it up and snaps it out, except louder.  Probably because we likely seethed but didn't shout in anger, or clenched our teeth akin to biting our tongue.  We were born of the parents who believed that how you dressed {stylish and polished} and how you behaved [ impeccable manners ] were a direct mirror into their inner soul.  

Ask a War Baby what it means to go without (ahem, attention Yuppies and Millennials, take note here)?  You better sit down and grab that cup of coffee anyhow because their answer is going to take a while.  What is amazing is when you actually recognize the sacrifice that War Babies had both as children, growing up and as adults, parents:  having to make do with very little.  Appreciating value over squandering money, which Yuppies and Millennials are apt to do.

Wanting to climb the ladder?  
There's a big leap between The Baby Boomers who are retiring to the tipping point beginning of the Millennial leaders, pioneers.  Yuppies and GEN-X likely skipped over.  Why not?  More educated, Millennials can bring fresh ideas, latest technological improvements [ which is a HOAX by GenXers letting others think that Yuppies aren't technologically inclined ].

Ask yourself, when was the birth of the computer?  Technically, it began a long long time ago, before Yuppies were even born.  What I mean is the birth of the personal computer?  Some of us went to school in 1979 to have hands on computer in our post secondary, either by instinct or natural survival mode.  If you want to have someone project manage something to perfection, you would be wise to consider a Yuppy:  they've been coming up with solutions and fixing problems by the time The Beatles broke up (a long long time ago).

Since I'm already in trouble and she doesn't read my blog * giggles *


So I apologized to my daughter.  Fingers crossed the PINK slip won't last long.  I will try to continue to be optimistic that she'll reconsider her reaction (ah-hem scale 1-10 ticked off:  9.5 degrees out of 10.)   

Maybe the next Millennial will read this, think about their mom mostly, or their dad if it happens, tone down the reaction and embrace the differences between you, with the added value of life experience that COULD spare them a lot of grief.  Knowing that rarely is advice heeded.  Swash-buckling their way to their future in their own brave style.



You have to remember, that your Yuppy mom or Yuppy dad, are prone to recognize how well you are doing.  Driving you crazy for posting about an accomplishment or re-sharing a picture, simply because you thought it was beautiful, unconsciously unaware that so many would agree.  They see the inner beauty paired with the outer strikingness as a formidable force, into the stratosphere when it is blended with intelligence and street smarts, common sense.  With a twist of humor, knowing that laughing at one's self is the biggest show of humility.


Even more if they are a Millennial 


Tuesday, September 26, 2017

STOP MicroSoft from getting rid of Paint in their next release

Someone at MicroSoft is off its rocker!
By Jeannette Marshall
@optioneerJM



___________________________________________

Don't let Microsoft kill Paint - they should educate people better on how to use it so that people will fall in love with it.

I create just about all my content on Paint.  I've gone to great strides of assembling an assembly of fonts that seem to compliment my posts.


I wonder if there is any kind of opposition of any kind, a petition started to force Microsoft​ to keep Paint?  

Why not just Introduce a tablet-only feature that compliments Paint that will only work on a surface pro for instance.

Think of new ways of making Paint hip among the HIPSTERs!   Pspppffftttt p.s. those same 20 somethings and 30 wonderkinds who buy the latest and greatest smartphone.  




You should be embarrassed that you haven't come up with something reasonably functional on a mobility smart phone.  It's been pretty logical since before the mishap into thinking you could make and launch a smartphone that everyone would go agog over.  

First zip on over to Blackberry, to floundering revenue and draining product loyalty at a breakneck pace.  They never thought about how to integrate the best apps onto their systems.  Kinda like what HP didn't do with their tablets, but Apple did from the very start except with extreme standards and double flips that have to be done in order for it to be Apple approved, endorsed and adopted by hosting it on iTunes ..... where sometimes they promote something, other places accumulate favorites identification (which I previously talked about AI "Artificial Intelligence" should be more about the information that smart people scoop up based on where you hang out on line, what you write, where you post, who reads your posts, who shares them, who is easily identified as your supporter).

I think that the cause for alarm here is what AI "Artificial Intelligence" is all about.   Every skips by the news stories about robotics without registering the fact that more and more robots are speaking and attempting to create its own personality, with its own thoughts and opinions.

Where it goes vague, or under cover,  is whether it can emulate a real human being?  For example, make appropriate responses as a human would, except it is not a human saying those things, it is a voice driven by AI to say all the expected things to say, appropriate responses with politeness, manners, permissions, that the most stellar customer service pro would expel.  

Then, think about the grocery stores.  How they are trying new and more clever approaches to have YOU buy/take your own packing bags + scan your own groceries in + provide helpful lookup on produce code all you have to do is enter in quantity then have payment ready to process like a marching soldier.

Me, I'm usually out of rhythm of the whole fiasco.  I like to do things in order:  Buy/shop, go to check out, put items in order of where they will end up in my home (i.e. pantry, refrigerator, space rack, etc.) with expertise of avoiding bread or other items from being crushed by the latest bag wrapper (if there is such a thing, as they dwindle in numbers);  

Now they are asking that you go online and make a list of your groceries, the time you will arrive, and just pick up your order.  I haven't tried that, but I would imagine you have to pay before your order arrives.  



According to my Twitter numbers, I attract a youthful 25-34 group the most who look for quality and value over price and they will shop online if it is the quickest and easiest without any degree in drop in quality.

That's the crew that MicroSoft has given up on.  Instead of using their imagination on how it can be cool and the must-have/use thing going?  

That is where MicroSoft misses the boat that Steve Jobs created:  sell the sizzle knowing that the steak was going to be even better than imagined or needing any boasting.



Monday, September 25, 2017

It's not just about "data" ::.... numbers tell a story

NOW, I remember what I started to do before being sidetracked sideways for a few hours ::... * mon dieu * [my dear] .... maybe I am losing my mind?

by Jeannette Marshall
@optioneerJM



A storyteller is someone who is imaginative
evoking empathy, intellectual connection with a highly *involved crew.  Not always YUPPIES as my egocentric alter ego YUPPYdom on Word Press has developed a pulse.  Thank you for that.  That is the start of how we would define a storyteller, by traditions, teachings, assumptions.  

In my mind's eye I see a storyteller as someone who can write
a story, encouraging the absorption of the tale, definition solely by you.
A storyteller can and often does evoke reaction.
Some positive, others not so.
Tears of sadness that comes with empathy,
chuckles or giggles that express joy and humor [key to our Mental Health].
Intrigue, mystery, literature or entertainment
the writer's gift to the world.
A bond that is established.
A loyalty.
A tribe.

You see, I study the numbers, absorb them, roll them around
in my head.  Then an eruption of ideas explode
from an implosion from within.  A strong
desire to develop writing, a following, 
a brand.

I'm always testing things consciously or subconsciously.  Perhaps that is why my tribe is really very, tres coolio [ translation:  my vibe ].  I had decided from the start to be who I am, be truest to myself.  Cherish my mental wellbeing above all else.  Sometimes failing, sometimes melancholy, other times a fear of despair.  

Have I been spirally downward and only just now realizing it?  Or, in the utter pit of despair, clambering to stay as far away from depression as possible, as I read and absorb that topic:  Mental Health.  

A fascination that compliments my life long love of numbers, hatched at the ripe age of 25.  Yes, the parent of a few Millennials of my own.  Offspring of my heart, soul and love.  Who would have imagined a YUPPIE being able to exude that much love, give up attention, recognition, so yield pride and ego to the exit door.  That should in essence describe the boon of the aging YUPPIES.  The champion of so many things, discoverers of wondrous wisdom, leaders of free worlds, emblematic of racial acceptance and waivers of discourse.  Fashionable statement is the championship of a YUPPIE.  In the 80s or ever since.  Bred of a generation in which appearance meant everything::... if you appeared the cleanest, purest, honest, intellectual, polished, fashionable young lady or man who surfed their way through the 1980s, hitting your 20s in practically, direct unison with the Millennial implosion of population, attitude, aptitude, striving, able, strong hipsters [ born in the 90s when their parents had done a little adulting before diving into parenthood ].

Lucky for me, when someone was showing me and teaching me something in my 20s, it snapped in to my brain, and hasn't really let go.  I think that sales was a science with numbers if I think back on it now.  A way to set up your own intellectual (golf-like) game of improving your own score.

If you are driven with south doubt, there is nothing more soothing than a love story of numbers ::... the characters evolving and changing, the plot rotating, the cast of characters alternating.  What stays true, is the numbers.

There is corruption in numbers.
But far more poetic and entertaining for sure.

I've been hinting at forecasting being critical
over the past number of posts.  Where many of my most devoted readers merge with me, hang out with me virtually, so to speak.  What's appealing to me or something worth a expulsion of thought.  Some pass on.  Others pick up.  

The ones that pick up are part of my crew.
How else could they not be (wow, what a bunch of bad grammar eh?)  meaning they must be my crew, if the followers are attributed to me.  Right?

Let me show you what I mean
while I tell you a story with numbers.
My own numbers.  
No one else.

Derived by really smart people
developing algorithms
that pops with artificial intelligence
of a different kind.

My perception of AI or what is catching on
as "artificial intelligence".
Just recently, Facebook announced 
setting up shop in Montreal.
As its "Artificial Intelligence" Headquarters.

Facebook has really fallen by the wayside when it comes to my interpretation of "Artificial Intelligence" (theory posted without research other than casual reading and dissemination of information available on the web for free) this Monday, September 25, 2017 at 10:30 pm MST Calgary, Alberta, Canada.

Before I started reading up or noticing clips on television about artificial intelligence, I truly thought that how I defined it in my mind to mean to be the right interpretation:  AI for simplicity sake of typing as I've ranted about ACRONYM HELL before (maybe one of my more entertaining rants).

I thought and think that AI is the absorption of personalized information (or aka also known as "data" ) stored to the "cloud" [ which is not an Apple creation as in Xerox still is to photocopiers].  






It makes sense.  
The more faithful I am with certain social media platforms, the more forthcoming they are starting to bring me my numbers.  I commented about Linked In's more intuitive dance that they are experimenting with what I would think is mostly my crew:  the early adopters of online culture and earliest users of Social Media platforms like Twitter and Facebook before getting a special invite to be able to be the first to sign up to Google Plus or G+ as it is affectionately known.

By reading the numbers, I can tell who is my crew.
It's a vibe that resonates and seems to bounce around like an uplifting game of toss the ball, virtually meaning a rallying of support from those who get to know you by your message, your consistent messaging and vibe.

I did go on a rant today, which I really try to avoid.
Nothing destroys a social media following
 more than a rant.
Since people are used to the SPAM and self-promotional garbage,
they're able to tune out that noise and grasp real important stuff.

BUT they avoid rants like a rampant virus.
Toxic and toxicity avoided
so most people run away from toxicity
yet ironically rally around violence or catastrophe.
[You don't have to think that far back
glued to Twitter feeds and 24 hour news
about hurricanes and earthquakes
as most were.]

Nothing deafens your voice faster than a rant.
A misuse of power or a disuse of trust.
That is what I've tried to uphold as an online motto
and a heartfelt belief.

To use the information at your disposal to uplift
educate, elevate anything worthy of a rallying assembly of really smart, gifted, talented, successful, financially stable and morally sound folks.



Those are my PEEPs, TWEEPS, TRIBE, FRIENDS, FAMILY, and FAVORITES.

Looking at the numbers, just defines the spirit of who they are.  See if you can see the story?


















Let me float this out one more time:  this is a very telling page of numbers.  I'm wondering if you see what I see?




Saturday, September 23, 2017

Men with miles



About a year ago I wrote about "ACT YOUR AGE MAN CANDY" giving a nod to some men women don't mind dreaming about.  

Idris Elba

Sadly, the Hunkster Hubster and I finished our binge watching of "The Wire" from HBO - a series that came out in 2004, and re-released lately.  I highly recommend watching it.  Superb plot, artful acting, human interest and hard to let go.

As with Act your Age, Ildris Elba is noteworthy as he was a leading character in the series, 13 years ago, as he is today.

The difference being, he has a few more miles on him. 

What hasn't changed is his ability to make the ladies swoon and the guys buckle up. 


Granted, I would be accused of "robbing the cradle" with Idris because he is only 45.   Since I'm happily married to my own Hunkster Hubster,  this is for the gals of all ages and all locales.

I began my mission:  who else?
There are likely a few more scrumptious fellows that are worthy of the ladies to get aflutter over or dream about.  Let's meander about which men get our heart pulsating and smiles from the heart.


Dominic West
Continuing on my "The Wire" rave, Dominic is brilliant as a Baltimore detective who is battling his own demons:  alcoholism (he portrays the best "drunk" I've ever seen) and faithfulness (you have to chuckle at the scene where he is undercover at a brothel, and is suppose to "act" like he is a John.)



Lately, we have seen Dominic in "The Affair" where he continues the theme of a cheating husband, with a much younger woman.  Interesting tidbit discovered while meandering around to find excerpts and tidbits:




Game of Thrones has cast a wealth of actors for season 3, but Dominic West isn’t one of them. What major role did the Wire actor turn down?
Speaking to The Huffington Post, West revealed that he was offered a substantial role, but turned it down because he didn’t know much about the show.
While he couldn’t recall what the character’s name was, he did say that, “it was a lovely part, a good part. I’m going to regret it.”










Kit Harington
It may appear as though I am robbing the cradle.
Let's just put it down to "if I were 20 or 30 years 
younger click bate".




let's file it under:  "if I were You can't claim to be a TV afficionado if you 
haven't watched "Game of Thrones".  Kit's
character "Jon Snow" is high on the list as
the most memorable character.







To be continued ...... 
(Tweet @optioneerJM if you would like to see your favorite "Man with miles" selected.


To be fair, I will work on a blog featuring women
who wear crows feet as a badge of honor and who
continue to make the fellas gasp.






Tuesday, September 19, 2017

FALL: The time for new beginnings








A time of fresh, new beginnings

Most people would say that they think the year begins January 1st ... then there would be other theories on when was the beginning of time?  I'm reading around on faith, inspiration and wonderful things to know or to learn more about ::.... the constant read-seeker of truth, wisdom, important things & knowledge aligned with my head, when art, photography and aesthetic eye candy.  My sister, Diana, was here visiting a few weeks ago, and she had made a comment to me:  "You are good with the eye, Jeannette."  Being online and blogging, interacting with people regardless of anything other than what they click on their keyboard. 

 
Fine Arts Awards WINNER:  2016 Ella Maple Rynehart [FacebookURL]


I could say it is an eye for talented, classy, smart 
people instead.  One without the other would be like a hurricane without wild winds and ferocious rains.  [ REF:  2 the nonstop Hurrican Irma, Jose, now Marie.  My dad must be smiling down from heaven.  Telling his cohorts [ Steve Jobs & Michael Jackson ] - the unlikeliest crew - that "He had to live with a Hurricane Marie for over 50 years!  NOW, all of a sudden there's a big deal about nothing that he hadn't already plugged along with so many years.  Yeah, my mom:  Marie.  82 now and still going strong.  When Wikipedia creates a "Hurricane Marie" page, they may consider a photo of my mom.  Said with only the greatest affection and respect.  Teacher of all things and showed me where I got my "stubborn as a mule gut feel and firm facial expression that is conveyed in my tone" from.  

Now, we're well into the back side
 of September 2017.  Coasting towards Halloween and then Christmas, for the folks of a similar background (no bias or slur intended, only the deepest respect and admiration).

September sounds the horn that it is FALL
Time to get back to books, bells, friendships and extra-curricular pursuits.  Most parents have, with super powered, human tenacity to make sure their kids get into school.  Certainly, by then many will have been burnt out, frazzled beyond an electrocution, patience in the thinnest and finest fine line.  Tackling them from outside and wrestling them to bed, would qualify any parent as an Olympian-of-back-to-school-fanfare!    Trying to set a routine is just as hard for the parents as it is for the kids, because between jungling and giving with work to survive and have the energy of anyone half your age, with the smarts to act your age.

Hitting the FALL time means a lot of different things
Not bemoaning noticing that the days are gliding shorter, leaves are floating downward; there ARE some people that ADORE fall!  The time of new beginnings:  a new classroom, a new Teacher, a new team, a new group of classmates, friends to be made, friends from before cherished.  The start of a new dance-figure skating-gymnastics-swimming-running-basketball-soccer year begins.  That, and the social activities you sign up for to make this year even better than last year (and IT was GREAT!).    They are all around the corner with new events, competitions, contests, clubs, creations, stories and memories so that you may look back at them with fondness for all the great things you were able to do in your youth.



Fall can hint an age
before it becomes consciously embraced.  Where you have strove for gathering knowledge, maintained an edge for signs of change, an aesthetic eye, and wisdom worthy writings.  

Time to make dreams come true
and create dreams to follow at a later time.   Where did you think you'd be at 50?  Did you even think about it?  Honestly, I didn't.  It just hit me:  BWAMB!  I turned 50 and not where I should be.  That is the thought that has consumed me, deprived me of sleep and caused me anxiety.  Well, that, and admitting that I have been the object of bullying in my workplace a number of time, just only now recognizing it for what it is.  Adult bullying is much more sophisticated and rarely discussed.  More commonly women against women.



Perhaps the beginnings of tackling a tough topic:
why are women so awful towards other women?  I have had a draft sitting in my BLOG for probably 7 years, I'm just guessing.  I was even doing research and asked people on QUORA.com [ which I love for answering questions; testing my knowledge; tracking acceptance of theories or experience; developing an expertise by others' acknowledgement not self-proclaim.

meanderingsABOUT quite possibly the best setting
to unravel the mystery that I've wondered about for so many years.  Ask anyone, regardless of age or anything divisible:  "Why do you think women get into such awful fights?  Especially when being threatened as a daughter, sister, mother, wife, employee, entrepreneur ::... they really don't seem to like even the faintest empathy, only able to react quickly, decisively and devastatingly if you are on the receiving end.  

Switching it up a bit
There are a lot of job postings out there ::.... a wonderful signal in recovery for an economy:  challenging the status quo, setting higher goals, clearing up to define purpose, scramble things:  I wrote this synopsis:  "Re-purposed a failing signage/print hub by hiring the right team, defining new processes, eliminated wastage & overages that were eating away at the NET profitability."  That's not the only thing I've done, but I'm thinking of switching up JOB DESCRIPTION on @LinkedIN +LinkedInCompanyPage to say it like it is:  what did I accomplish during the time I was there, with the numbers still in my head.

"Sound Suit" by Nick Cave SOURCE 


The FALL behind time
of the memories and past noise that you can re-hash in your head, over and over, especially at the witching time [a sign of Halloween perhaps?], between 1am and 3am, sometimes 4am;  even by 5:30am when the shower goes on for my husband's day.  

Feeling tired all the time
as the chill in the air descends into our bones, more defined as we age.  Something else I never considered, being an active, energy nut like myself:  my bones would start to crack when I stood up from kneeling in the garden or to pick something up.  The anxiety about the future, becoming more and more clouded by Hurricane devastation and what I now dub my version of A1 or "Artificial Intelligence" is the most part the media, exceptions of BBC and CBC  based on personal observation and perception:  the FAKE MEDIA should just be called A1Media to signify "Artificial Intelligence" when a lie is exposed.

The sink falls out
and life goes on [ seriously, our garburator broke, and the sink fell apart when hubby was pulling it out to see what was wrong ].  Oh and the insurance adjustor comes over after over a year ago claim with a FAR LESS deductible (fodder for my +optioneerJM blog).  
Writing settles me
exhumes the toxic influences that have seemed to be growing, now lessening because of the quality of my surroundings:  who I affiliate with, blessed with friendship, superb family, associates, those I learn from, and even a few who may learn from me.

I hope you enjoy your FALL and consider it part of new beginnings ....


Photographer:  Moin Ahmed:  2017 Sony World Photography Awards

Friday, September 15, 2017

Know the rules before you start communicating



There are often repetitive messages in my Meanderings, and it is rewarding when someone of superior intelligence grasps the meaning behind the messages.

Mike and I began our Social Media journey at about the same time (2010) ::... I was nudged a little harder over the cliff into the abyss slightly before him, and became what I thought as an unlikely mentor to someone who was highly successful and brilliant in his own right -- a successful book launch being a key metric that I recognized early on as a method to delve into credibility online among the endless noise and self-promotion of many self-described "experts".

Steadfast still, I am firmly entrenched in the belief that nobody can define themselves as an expert, no matter how many followers one has.  It is derived from how others describe you:  what do others consider you knowledgeable about is one thing, being credited as an expert quite largely another.

Mike reached out to me a couple of weeks ago via email, one of the few entrusted connections online that have never been derived from a face-to-face meeting at an event, social or association.  Not even a telephone conversation.

Having a virtual or personal conversation with a man who is not a relative, business associate is frowned upon as it can lead "to other things".  However, you can still be disciplined in having rich conversations and exchange of knowledge and learning from others regardless of gender.   There is an invisible line that should never be crossed.  




During a isolated time in my life when I was a regular church attendee, I still recall a message that resonates today from a wise Pastor:  do not be afraid to create friendships or be asked for advice from the opposite gender.  However, there are some areas to stay far from to keep it from falling into a downward, unethical spiral:


  1. Include others in the conversation so that it is not isolated, clustered by only two (the Pastor suggested that he invites his wife to any meeting or event that he wants to avoid falling into the trap of questionable conversations, particularly marriage counselling).
  2. It is okay to sprinkle in nuggets about your life partner, spouse, wife or husband, children, as a distinct flag that you are if not always happy, happiest with the person you are with and have no intention to stray.  Cheating is not at your core values.
  3. Keep it professional so that at any given time, the conversation may be shared with a sibling, friend, child, parent, spouse, partner without any guilt.
  4. Keep the topic off of relationship radars:  particularly complaints about your partner's shortcomings, dissatisfaction with your relationship in any shape or form.  That should be with your church minister or mosque elder.
  5. You can have a respectful, fruitful relationship with a person of the opposite sex, when your radar clearly signals "in a committed relationship with not a sliver of disregard or disrespect of your life partner".
  6. Any of these apply to anyone with leanings towards same sex or transgender relationships.
You CAN have helpful, rewarding relationships with anyone so long as you know your boundaries and it is clearly communicated by not so much by what you say but how you act.