HOW YOU REACT!
If you try to be the best person inside, true to your truest character, spectacular vibe and kindness to everyone ~ you HAVE the ability the change not only how you view the world, but also how the world views you.
After facing bullying myself for the first time in my life after turning 56 years old just this past April, I find strength building within me, not without the assistance of my therapist Marjory.
At this prime time age [ NIX the MIDDLE AGE already!] you have earned the right to be who you ARE!
|Fashion 911 Board on Pinterest > SOURCE < Link|
I'm not saying if you're a guy, you are aspiring to be a character cast permanently henceforth as the "grumpy old guy" or "old perv". Nor am I suggesting that we women have to resort to comfy shoes only, bloaty tops with massive floral collage intended as a decoy to hide that post-menopausal early trimester pregnancy look [ that MOST women experience regardless of race, color, demographic [= age + education + where you live], location, living conditions].
You MAY think if you wear those life-weary looks of drooling at really young girls or scowling at their belly buttons showing or deep enough cleavages that makes toe jam look like a speck of dirt.
What about testing my theory?
Be the truest you that you can possibly be! There is no linkage or printed guides or rule books or user manuals or YouTube videos required. Totally unique to you, wired closely between the head and the heart. More close to your identity than your DNA. You.
Who you were meant to be.
Forget about looking at the past. Examining and spending so much agonizing energy on what ifs? You CAN start to be you. There is NEVER never enough time. You do not need pocketfuls of money or unlimited VISA limits for shopping or pulling together your look.
Yes, it starts inside.
Nothing more difficult than asking yourself: "What do you want?" At my first therapy, recovering anxiety from the bullying experience, Marjory started with that simple question.
Journal til there's no ink left.
That was the instruction. Start writing and writing and writing. Regardless of what you are writing. No judgement, complete privacy, just empty your heart and your head essentially is what I thought it meant. Yeah, it took me outta my blogging, which has been mostly a release of the brain: sharing what I know.
That's what I like doing most. I tend to focus on avoiding the pitfalls that I've had to go through in order to clear the air and focus on moving forward. By saying forward, I am meaning mostly that you are just ....
LETTING GO ...
..... letting go of the past. With a big picture in mind, putting all the junk in a bubble: lack of confidence, humble beginnings, shortfall in knowledge (aka lack of formal education), poor body image, horrible childhood, victimization, gender or race discrimination, divorce, violence, bullying, failure, disappointment, hurt ......... put it into the bubble [ aka journal if you need to about that stuff so that you can talk it over with a therapist ~ breaking the rules of letting it go ].
THE BUBBLE FLOATS AWAY
Bouncing with the tide and blowing with the wind, the bubble has left you behind. Now what are you going to do?
BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF
Now that you let all that toxic waste float away in the bubble, what do you have left? Only YOU. What does that look like, how do you look? That's where the "What do you want?" steps in.
What do you want?
You can write and think all you like about lists upon lists of the little things to the gigantic dream.
"The bigger the dream,
~ Jeannette Marshall
No item too big or too small.
If it is what you want, it is what you want. Remember, in your private journal, it is YOU, it is private, it is between "Me, myself & I" if you need a debate or thrive on controversy go for it.
BIG DREAMS = HARD WORK
There are no short cuts for you skippies out there who like to dart around things and stomp on people to get to where they want to be. What seems like an overnight miracle are years of perspiration: that's what I extracted from watching THE NINETIES by CNN where its focus was really about the first kings of technology: STEVE JOBS and BILL GATES. Even if you want to lean towards sympathizing with the founders of NETSCAPE, stop it. They earned millions of dollars on an idea they were able to execute.
Don't just talk about it, give your ideas away, or work for a company who will gladly swipe that idea under the umbrella of corporate regulations and employment contracts: what you create there becomes their property.
Life is unfair.
Get used to it. Heck, if you're in your 40s or beyond you should know this by now and stop talking about it or how luck evaded you.
GET THINGS DONE
Getting things done requires elbow grease or perspiration or agonizing or choices. Checking things off mental lists that surface in the middle of the night when you are longing for slumber. EXECUTE. Complete. Finito. Bon Voyage. NEXT? Get'er'done already!
I got ahead of myself again, per usual. Jump forward, bending sideways, and sometimes losing the very important point. I guess that is the part of blogging that I really enjoy: helping others and exhausting those thoughts that don't fit into a journal and may be better to share.
When I wrote what I wanted, it wasn't about material things, I am very fortunately married to Hunkster Hubster which I appreciate most days [ trials and tribulations of married life is normal ]. Sure, I'd love a much bigger house in a tropical locale with the web my biggest tool [ or hammer, depending upon my mood ].
FOCUS ON THE POSITIVE
Was what I thought I really wanted. Until you try it, you don't really realize or appreciate how difficult that is. I think it was Oprah Winfrey probably in the 90s who got everyone thinking about having a GRATITUDE journal, whereby you wrote about what was positive that happened that day. Even as you wake up, you can write down what you look forward to that day.
I am at the very early, formative stage of doing cognitive behavior development. With my baby toe on my right foot touching the tip hesitantly. I hardly think it is possible without emptying the brain and the heart of anything toxic, and placing it in the bubble to float away.
Happy healing and healthy being,