Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beauty. Show all posts

Friday, December 16, 2016

The definition of insanity?

Illusional | Amy Cochrane | Flickr

So do you know this question::... 
what is the definition of insanity?

Have you ever heard the answer followed immediately thereafter?

Do you know the answer?

IT IS:  The definition of insanity:  doing things over and over again expecting different results.

To me, insanity has typically aligned with something else OR someone else.  

I've used the term fairly often as a sales managing coaching her reps.  I have been employed, up until now, in predominately male-dominated industries such as digital printing, document management, fleet management, office services, outsourcing, infrastructure project management.  To name a few too many I'm sure.  After all this time, until I placed fingers on a keyboard, alternating the right with a mouse, I discovered that the quote is attributed to Albert Einstein.  Huh!  I didn't know that.  I do know that I seem to gravitate towards his quotes, more than any other singular person.  Followed closely by Mother Teresa:




Do you ever get to the level that you feel yourself physically tense up or completely let go and sob while you cry your eyes out?  You're exceptionally lucky if you haven't, or insane being so unrealistic or void of any reaction to anything.  Therein the definition resources sits "narcissism" nestled along with all the other deranged words like madness, lunacy and derangement.

Illusion Art by Rob Gonsalves illusion art ...

Excuse me dictionary people.  I did take exception to "dementia" being thrown in, like any innocent victim thrown in with the lions.  I hardly think that a medical condition that surfaces with advanced aging can in any way say that the person is "insane".  Forgetful, lost touch with reality, where everyone becomes a stranger.

What Is Dementia?

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dementia-symptoms-and-brain changesDementia is a general term for a decline in mental ability severe enough to interfere with daily life. Memory loss is an example. Alzheimer's is the most common type of dementia.
About Dementia
Symptoms
Causes 
Diagnosis
Treatments
Risk & Prevention

About dementia

Find out what how typical age-related memory loss compares to early signs of Alzheimer's and other dementias.
Learn the signs.
Dementia is not a specific disease. It's an overall term that describes a wide range of symptomsassociated with a decline in memory or other thinking skills severe enough to reduce a person's ability to perform everyday activities. Alzheimer's disease accounts for 60 to 80 percent of cases. Vascular dementia, which occurs after a stroke, is the second most common dementia type. But there are many other conditions that can cause symptoms of dementia, including some that are reversible, such as thyroid problems and vitamin deficiencies.
Dementia is often incorrectly referred to as "senility" or "senile dementia," which reflects the formerly widespread but incorrect belief that serious mental decline is a normal part of aging.
Learn more: Common Types of DementiaWhat is Alzheimer's?


Memory loss and other symptoms of dementia

Many people have memory loss issues — this does not mean they have Alzheimer's or another dementia
There are many different causes of memory problems. If you or a loved one is experiencing troubling symptoms, visit a doctor to learn the reason. Some causes of dementia-like symptoms can be reversed.

Learn more: Visiting Your Doctor
While symptoms of dementia can vary greatly, at least two of the following core mental functions must be significantly impaired to be considered dementia:
  • Memory
  • Communication and language
  • Ability to focus and pay attention
  • Reasoning and judgment
  • Visual perception
People with dementia may have problems with short-term memory, keeping track of a purse or wallet, paying bills, planning and preparing meals, remembering appointments or traveling out of the neighborhood.
Many dementias are progressive, meaning symptoms start out slowly and gradually get worse. If you or a loved one is experiencing memory difficulties or other changes in thinking skills, don't ignore them. See a doctor soon to determine the cause. Professional evaluation may detect a treatable condition. And even if symptoms suggest dementia, early diagnosis allows a person to get the maximum benefit from available treatments and provides an opportunity to volunteer for clinical trials or studies. It also provides time to plan for the future.
Learn more: 10 Warning SignsStages of Alzheimer's 

Well that certainly throws curve balls at anyone over the age of 50, one can only imagine.  I think back to when I was in my 20s, if asked:  "what is your greatest fear?"  I may have answered:  fire or a tornadoe (living in the Province of southern Alberta, it isn't something we often have to concern ourselves with, even though we have seen funnel clouds).

Once you hit your 50s you do a major inventory on your life.  Not anything like the mild TO DOs by the time you hit your 30s.  It is a massive awakening.  A self-reflection and a dreaded comparison.

Whatever the predictors are saying.  If they are saying that my generation (born in the 1960s) had a tougher life than my parents did.  They would be right.

If you look at building a graph on life benchmarks, there would be a really steady climb for baby boomers and war babies on a ladder of steps.

However, if you take the typical 1960s baby, there would be no steady, even flowed climb.  It would look more like something out of radical dips and arrows.

Nothing is predictable.  Yet we uphold the belief that our world will return to sanity once again.  There were so many things that one could take for granted at one time, that it seems so lucky when someone born in the era of optimism on the one hand destroyed by fear and pending possibility of war.   

Then you sail through the innocence in comparison of the times going through upheaval and major changes, that made such large registration on our radar.

We somehow hung on to our innocence during the corruption of the early 70s and disruptions caused by war.  In both scenarios, we were hardly old enough to typically have it in our sphere of influence yet we became intuitive to the moods of our elders, parents, teachers and any other authority figures we were polite, well mannered and respectful to.

About now, many of us into our 50s are wondering or writing or saying out loud:  "stop the insanity".  Yet it continues to circle around us.  

We tend to be dissatisfied because of the infrequency of peaceful surroundings, vibes, events in our lives if I were to hazard to guess.  We seem to be more comfortable in chaos than in solitude or quietness.  

We strive for mindfulness, as in being only concerned with the present moment ... and this moment ... and this moment.  Failing miserably at avoiding the major pitfall of not looking at the future, never mind in the pit of continual worry about what tomorrow will bring.

A person can be warming their car up outside while they are putting the finishing touches on their thermos of dark roast french-pressed Italian coffee  and the telephone rings.  That isn't really that unusual, just so different than when we were growing up.

People riding their 50s grew up at a time when there were minimal phones around.  I almost giggle when I recall, how great my parents were at installing our one central phone in the kitchen with an extra long cord so that we could sneak around the corner to have a "private conversation".

My father, like many fathers, had a big important job and came home to a hot dinner with his family, who were waiting by the set table for his arrival home so we could eat (the peanut butter and jam sandwich when we got home at 3 o'clock didn't seem to ever tide us over in satisfaction).  From that moment on, among dinner chatter with my 3 siblings and parents, the phone answering was always my dad.  

My dad would almost grin in pleasure when there was no answer.  He was happiest when he knew he had scared off any boys  calling for one of us girls.  If I wasn't around and the phone was off its cradle, my sister Diana had a fondness for picking up the phone and taking the call as though it were me.  Where was I?  Waiting outside the door to the one bathroom in our house that six people shared for one of brothers to exit in a fume of normal bodily function that would seriously disarm and impair the next innocent victim of their own bladder.  We didn't have bathroom fans.  

My dad would reign on the couch for the rest of the evening.  If we were allowed to go out past dark, when we returned home we were required to give our father a kiss on the cheek before retiring to bed.  He was able to swiftly take a whiff like a hound dog of our breath, on the ever-ready mode to pounce if we would (hardly) have been stupid enough to take a sip of alcohol on the way home or stumbling home from a party.  I can never reason, nor did I ever ask him (that, I do regret) HOW WILD was he growing up?  That time when he was growing up and young men were signing up to go to World War II.  He would have been too young, yet as soon as he turned 18, he did sign up.  I guess that was the influences he had.

We have to stop comparing our lives to our parents lives or how fortunate in some ways we seem to have had it than our own children do now.  

It wasn't a question of affording to go to university as much as when.  There was no grand scheme of childhood education funds or anything much other than a good savings nest egg.

So why in our lives, in the age of 50 plus, are we striving so hard to have the same lives as our parents did when they were 50?  Possibly because we don't nor can have the assumption that we will take our education and apply that good ole home loyalty to your employer mentality we were brought up with, to only have that loyalty reciprocated void without any guarantee that we won't have a job for 30 or 40 years and receive a gold watch at your retirement party.

It wasn't unusual in the infancy of my career even to attend a retirement get together to say farewell to the work well and best wishes to the mellow years to follow.  That seemed to be natural up until the end of the 90s it would seem.  Not that there aren't any.  Its just that most of them are on movie sets and television shows.

So why do we long for that same peacefulness and steady flow that our parents enjoyed?  They would certainly point out effectively that they, too, had many challenges during their living years.  

It is time to stop the insanity and stand on our tippie toes and reach the farthest out to try to understand the tide we're on, when it will slow down, or if we'll ever make it to coasting.

This should be your statesman or woman years.  You've had your ups and downs and earned your stripes by now.  But we forget, that is not the sign of our times.  We have to stop trying to reach out, comparing ourselves to others or to whom we thought we would be by now and we have to avoid worrying about tomorrow.  Today and this minute is the only thing we can actively participate in and do anything about.  

Illusional | Amy Cochrane | Flickr


The reasoning would be that we are the only ones who are truly in control of our destiny.  If we fall into mental health issues, depression or are illusional that it will get different, a lottery win around the corner, is up to us.

in·san·i·ty
inˈsanədē/
noun
  1. the state of being seriously mentally ill; madness.
    "he suffered from bouts of insanity"
    synonyms:mental illness, madnessdementiaMore

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

In pursuit of excellence


Is the bar too high?

Do you often compare yourself to others::  beauty, looks, success, wealth, home, car, job?  Ahem, or career.

First, let me apologize because I was trying to sideswipe you to continue as if there hasn't been a few weeks since the last time I blogged.


Do we strive too far?

There comes a certain point in your life when you are at an event, more likely social, more alarming family ::.... and you just POP in your head!  Just like that with the zippy exclamation point (don't overdue it with multiples::.... that screams desperate for attention ....:: so you tend to ignore it or stop reading right there).

I found myself at my stepdaughter's wedding, as the "evil stepmother" I told everyone I was.  That was to downplay no input and my manners meter on high alert.   It became a time that because of my non role yet close observer of the past 12 years of the bride's life.

Try facing off two mother grizzly bears, it may not be pretty.  But manners prevailed and we treated each other with one acknowledgement and handshake (no hug and definitely no kiss to signify how genuine our gestures were).

Thankfully I'm no "other woman".   I came from picking up the pieces of a divorce and trying to make sure her kids were glued together.   I'm not even going to give it any respect and avoid saying that I'm the victim.  Because I was the woman in the marriage, the career magnifico, mom superior superwoman, and likely lastly wife.

At such a juncture in time and after 12 years, it would be misleading to not say that there was curiosity out there.  I mean, the "other woman" had had the chance to be involved this duo were, instead deciding to leap outta the picture to avoid the scandal that even not that many years ago would have been frowned upon.

So who was this mother and former wife?  I guess I wanted to see for myself and do what we do best we women, compare myself to this woman.  How pathetic when you think about it because I could not believe anyone would give up the chance to be married and committed to Rob for the awesome, thoughtful teddy bear he is.

I then decided to be less traditional::.... compare myself to the ex-wife, mother whom I played Head Coach for daughter ::..... most women wouldn't admit to it, be it they are the wrongee or the wrong doer, that they compare themselves to the other woman.  There are a lot of ridiculous benchmarks that just POP out there again.
  • Looks
  • Grooming
  • Manners
  • Poise
  • Success
  • Beauty
  • Clothes
  • Accessories
  • Jewellery
  • Shoes (did they match the purse?)
  • Any scarf, nail manicure, pedicure, evidence of formal fix er up
  • Body size, body shape, curvy, skinny, plump, thin
  • Make up, eyebrow shape and whether it needs plucking
  • Hair color, health, fried or gleaming?
  • Teeth white, whitener, straightened by braces or hidden behind veneers
  • Her kid(s) all of the above times however many kids
  • Work, stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom, job, status, organization
I sorta apologize ::.... I got on a roll.  But the amazing part is that we can compute all of this information and filter it all to arrive at warning: "Threat" or "Possible Aly" ..... all under a minute.  The masters can talk while taking it all in and processing it all under the world's largest microprocessor:  the woman's mind.

I started my inventory differently.  I guess I wanted to be a bit unbiased and objective when I was comparing her now husband to my husband, her ex-husband.  (Yeah, I know, talking and writing like a woman who is processing information and spewing it out faster than any satellite network (aka faster than the largest telecommunications networks data).  Amazing eh?

I have to admit, I didn't think of it until only a couple of days ago:  Sunday.  The day after the wedding.  We women like to take in information, process it, exume it, but of all store information for later use so we can pull it out and extrapolate it, examine it, research it if need be, so that we have dissected it into the smallest of topics.  Then we speak to our mother, sister, brother, aunt, father, sister's best friend, brothers girlfriend, uncle, friend, acquaintances or therapy session.

I came out the lucky one.  My husband is awesome and he loves his family immensely.  That exuded from him in fumes, so light and almost vaporless.  I won't go on the scorn at her or ask her to give her head a shake.  Her new husband is a shell and only one quarter as interesting as my husband.  And that just about covers every area you can imagine, and the one you thought it implied.

I'll have to make up for being MIA the past few weeks by writing a little be more over the coming weeks.



Be healthy, be happy, and be hypercritical ...........:: LOL, checking to see if you're still with me ............::

Sunday, July 31, 2016

YOU can be anything!




You better believe me
This is very true.  
If you don't believe me,
ask my daughters about 
my son Kyle.

Prouder than the biggest lioness
Everyday he inspires me
by setting the example on 
how to be the better person
or the best version of yourself.

As a mother, it goes back to that
9 month relationship with that
baby in your womb.



Falling in love
When do you start talking to it?
How did you feel from 
the movements?

A womb
A gentle glide,
maybe back and forth.
Watch out for somersaults
because they can be the worse.

Motherhood childhood
If you are the mother of a child
you can probably understand and relate
if you are a child of a mother
there are many things to learn from her.
She didn't go to school for the job,
she wasn't told what it would entail, the
highs, the lows, the championships, the falls.
She knows it all
Yet she still is your biggest fan
single loudest cheerleader
Instant defender, protector, teacher, scolder, nagger.



Now
When was the time
when you stopped listening
and just started doing?
Somewhere between adolescence and
motherhood afterhood.  


Is faith belief?
When did you start losing faith?
When faith has been steering you all along.
Not in the way that you'd design it
or be all glitzy and for show.


Inner committee
Is it because you stopped believing
your own press?
Or do you believe that old press
was a mistake?

Know
Where you lose some of that inner glow
where enthusiasm and ideas blow
knocking anyone over in its path, 
or the fury if it didn't pass



Stop
The kick in the pants
self discovery talk
Was that with self or
glorious being?
An angel guide  on eagle wings,
takes you away from that place.

Glow
Maybe it is an inner mantra
that at first seems quiet
reflective
observant
learning
feeling
the
flow.

Flow
Ebbing towards a much calmer sea
from the beach
or the breaches of my mind.



Release
optimism, gratitude, creativity tide.
Allowing your instincts 
to be your guide.

Wisdom and growth
Maybe with more wisdom
grows the appreciation of the great things
that happen behind the spotlight
of a social media glow.

Gratitude is
creating an appreciation
like never before.
For the very best things 
that you can enjoy.
For free, out there, helpful, 
creative and pure.

Love of a dove
Spread those wisdom wings
and wrap those so dear
whom you love
with all your soul
like a beautiful dove.


Far reaching
High outtabounds
limitless, boundless
energy abounds.
Through the coming
of one
with your soul.



Awakening
Beginning to uncover
the real you.
Who was likely covered,
burdened, trodden so the
spirit may have fallen low.

Singing to others
by writing, tweeting, posting hello
to those who help make her grow.
Surrounded by talented by three
thousand times the speed of sound.



Faceless
Her audience, her readers and growing fans
don't quite know what to make of this
lady so grand.
With style, with grace,
with wisdom to share.

Ageless
Because of her age,
merely a number,
but because of it 
gathers many asunder.

Beauty
For beauty wherever and whatever form
is in tuned with the beat of what most want to feel
A champion for others, 
finding inspirational
clauses.



Beacon of light
To inspire, lighten a spirit, lift a mood.
To restore optimism to others
is a duty born
To stomp out hate, violence and/or fear.
To return to the important
things to hold dear.

Wisdom
Not money, not wealth, not even fame.
Can drown out the inspiration
many will claim.
As their right, their worth, and
wisdom reborn.

Fly
Let's spread our wings 
and let those gifts soar.
We can make a safer,
even more beautiful world.
We reach out beginning with one
and grow in affection and support.



Dream
among dreamers
because they eventually
become visionaries.
The ones that are 
easily discounted.

Ascend
Yet rise above the clamour and noise
where radios and televisions on mute or off.
The people's choices emerge,
sending messages out as a blurb.

Narrate
Telling a story
of grow and learning.
To instigate allegiance
to this yearning.



Unite
Of gathering
the still
yet like minded.
Forming a voice
that cannot be contended.

Fire and heat
The thermometer and furnaces
of hate, racial bias, violence and corruption
are burning bright
with heat to those who draw too near.

Taking steps
while they're stepping back
from the dreaded topics
of poverty and despair.
Like turning one's head
at a roadside wreckage.



Look
How can we be mere
onlookers?
Luckily, there are others 
who make us look and reconsider
our role in humanity, our planet, 
our young and our elders.


One thing I know as a mother is how gifted my son Kyle is with people.  Over 27 years, I have wondered how can I capture the ingredients and sell it for a whole lot of people who need to have a better attitude on life.  Be more thankful.  Appreciate others more.  Judge less.  

His sister called me to tell me the coolest thing.  It reminded me of a phenomena that is uniquely Kyle:  once you meet him, you can never possibly forget him.  Apparently, still so.

This sis of his called to say she applied to this hipster hangout for the trendiest of youngest group of Millennial explosion (22 or something close to that).
They instantly hired her on the spot, without not even 1/2 of a 1/2 of a percent of Bernie Saunders math, pause.  She was merely told, if you're the sister of Kyle, you are on our team without hesitation.

How's Kyle?
I forgot how often after school, or in summer months, I would meet some of his teachers, in the community, grocery shopping, doing stuff.  It wasn't uncommon for someone to walk up to me to ask me how Kyle was doing?

With an imaginative soul.
Can you imagine that?  It was amazing, yet as you drift along in this tide, you don't get a chance to really stop and take in that it is probably even a bigger and more unique gift than any politician could commit more than a decade in learning how to smile at people just right, giggle, chuckle or full body laugh.  



Kyle
just has it.
The "it"
YES, that IT
the thing we
all want

To be liked,
for being a really good person.
To be loved,
because he makes us want to be better.

We watch, we learn
He shows us that it isn't 
the toughest, the richest, the most obvious
who are the most talented.
It is usually someone who is gifted.  
Sometimes, even more less, 
discovered as a true treasure 
for our world.  

Lighting the way
Like a Nelson Mandela, 
not merely an Oprah Winfrey.  
The difference is obvious.
One dwells in the limelight
while the other is far away
from the spotlight.
A legacy of our times.
Like the Dali Lama who is still among us.
Or for some like me, fairly unknown, yet mysterious.

A lot of little somethings
So maybe that is something
worth delving into.
What makes one person so great
that others remember

Intention
Who wants that chance
to be the best of who they are NOT
diving deep into the talent
yet undiscovered.

Commitment
With quiet humility and dedication
one can only hope to make a dent.
Help one person out of despair.
Failing hope.
Growing disbelief.
Not looking back because
the wreckage is in front of them.

Inspire
How do you repair, restore faith,
uncover talent?
By cheerleading the unheard,
the unfamous, 
not infamous.

Explore
Exploring lands and cultures
without touching new soil.
That's what in front of us,
if you just focus on the most
beautiful, peaceful and hopeful
images, readings, teachings
stirring within new belief.

Believe
in yourself
in what you are capable
of doing.
Not yesterday, NOW.
Not tomorrow, NOW.



Images are all courtesy of Google from a GOOGLE SEARCH.  I would like to thank all the creators and give them tribute as one, easily found.

The tribute to Harry Potter is by design for two reasons:

1) The main character in "Goldfinch" the book that I am heavily engrossed in right now, is nicknamed "Potter" by his best friend.

2) There is a lot of excitement surrounding the release of yet another Harry Potter, to international instant acclaim, by J.K. Rowling:  a true inspiration for women everyWHERE as this century's #bestofeverything #womenofinspiration