Saturday, August 27, 2016

A double standard ?

The New York Times (credit)

I tend to skim across The New York Times stories that both the publishers and Google place upon my path as a customized choice of reading.  As I've meandered before, the more I click, scroll and share (retweet, share, like, comment, post, pin ...... ) the more juice I give Google and now it appears articles that are more likely to entice me to click, read more.  Very few insight me to want to comment and go even farther by blogging around it.  

Today, I did such a thing and clicked on this article tossed onto my path.  They wouldn't know that I was just hopping on for a quick look at something, and only spend five minutes at most.  

Most likely, family dynamics is top of mind with the wedding of my stepdaughter last weekend.  We talk about blended families, as if it is normal or not unusual, but until you are in the throws of unique coincidence that everything does pan out without less drama than the movie makers, writers or media want to let on.  We can have a huge event with everyone on their best behaviour and manners prevail.  What one would think should give comedic plots can actually be drama free and calm.  People relaxed, wary of the "others" but committed to keep the affair congenial so that the bride and groom are able to have a memorable occasions.

It is kinda nice that the drama is left to the screenwriters and authors to drum up in escaping for a the relief of comedy, spelled by belly jiggling laughter, and enrapture by dramatic tragedies and dysfunction of those on the screen or on the page (or screen).  

This article by The New York Times bid my read merely by its headline:  "Why Men Want to Marry Melanias and raise daughters like Ivanka".  It is an excellent read.  It is thought provoking and at its center distinguishes the traditional values so many are debating these days with all the violence and the public displays because of politics reinforced daily, if not hourly, or more, is bringing to the forefront the difference in values.  What I liked especially is how divorce, second marriages and blended families measure up with long-held marriage, defined in years, still with only one single child to be concerned with are so different.

What is the difference between a philandering man and a woman who lets her man get away with philandering I ask?  It's pretty hard to pick sides isn't it?  One isn't better than the other.

One showcases that despite the shortcomings of the parents, or father's infidelity can the kids, as byproducts, still end up firmly grounded, successful and looked up to by peers, elders alike.  I like to think my own kids demonstrate that they can actually end up as survivors and strong in their convictions and firmly planted and aligned to their own desires and goals.  It's like showing others that even if the parents' vows have been broken, the children were made and raised with love, understanding and support.

The article does have a very  interesting perspective to me personally.  I wonder how many of my followers agree?  Whether female or male, weigh in your thoughts please:  are you pro traditional values in your own home and marriages and pro climb and achievements for your daughter or daughters?  

I could blog on and on about this heavy topic that is being played out dramatically by the differences in the two campaigns:  Clinton versus Trump.  I start to meander as to whether Americans may vote according to values rather than any political rhetoric.  From the sounds of this article, Americans (Republicans or Democrats or Independents) forgive Trump's past digressions because of the great job he's done with having such awe inspiring offspring.  I'd hazard a guess, without any profound research undertaken, that children of a first marriage fair much better than the 2nd or 3rd marriages.  Tiffany Trump was merely okay comparatively speaking.  If she were a character in a book or screenplay she'd be the rebellious one who acts out her own insecurities by being louder, out there, fast lifestyle and notoriety born from being overshadowed by siblings and even parents that are amounting to some pretty hefty reputations.  To avoid pity, they take on a rock star lifestyle (that the media portrays, but not the real true lifestyle that I believe most rockstars lead:  normal, peaceful, loving lives and home that is achieved after a lot of roller coaster rides and growing up).

This article got me thinking and took a life of its own.  I wonder what others' perception of the article's accuracy is.  

No doubt, our world is evolving and our principles and values take a bumpy ride at times, for sure.

Wednesday, August 24, 2016

In pursuit of excellence

Is the bar too high?

Do you often compare yourself to others::  beauty, looks, success, wealth, home, car, job?  Ahem, or career.

First, let me apologize because I was trying to sideswipe you to continue as if there hasn't been a few weeks since the last time I blogged.

Do we strive too far?

There comes a certain point in your life when you are at an event, more likely social, more alarming family ::.... and you just POP in your head!  Just like that with the zippy exclamation point (don't overdue it with multiples::.... that screams desperate for attention ....:: so you tend to ignore it or stop reading right there).

I found myself at my stepdaughter's wedding, as the "evil stepmother" I told everyone I was.  That was to downplay no input and my manners meter on high alert.   It became a time that because of my non role yet close observer of the past 12 years of the bride's life.

Try facing off two mother grizzly bears, it may not be pretty.  But manners prevailed and we treated each other with one acknowledgement and handshake (no hug and definitely no kiss to signify how genuine our gestures were).

Thankfully I'm no "other woman".   I came from picking up the pieces of a divorce and trying to make sure her kids were glued together.   I'm not even going to give it any respect and avoid saying that I'm the victim.  Because I was the woman in the marriage, the career magnifico, mom superior superwoman, and likely lastly wife.

At such a juncture in time and after 12 years, it would be misleading to not say that there was curiosity out there.  I mean, the "other woman" had had the chance to be involved this duo were, instead deciding to leap outta the picture to avoid the scandal that even not that many years ago would have been frowned upon.

So who was this mother and former wife?  I guess I wanted to see for myself and do what we do best we women, compare myself to this woman.  How pathetic when you think about it because I could not believe anyone would give up the chance to be married and committed to Rob for the awesome, thoughtful teddy bear he is.

I then decided to be less traditional::.... compare myself to the ex-wife, mother whom I played Head Coach for daughter ::..... most women wouldn't admit to it, be it they are the wrongee or the wrong doer, that they compare themselves to the other woman.  There are a lot of ridiculous benchmarks that just POP out there again.
  • Looks
  • Grooming
  • Manners
  • Poise
  • Success
  • Beauty
  • Clothes
  • Accessories
  • Jewellery
  • Shoes (did they match the purse?)
  • Any scarf, nail manicure, pedicure, evidence of formal fix er up
  • Body size, body shape, curvy, skinny, plump, thin
  • Make up, eyebrow shape and whether it needs plucking
  • Hair color, health, fried or gleaming?
  • Teeth white, whitener, straightened by braces or hidden behind veneers
  • Her kid(s) all of the above times however many kids
  • Work, stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom, job, status, organization
I sorta apologize ::.... I got on a roll.  But the amazing part is that we can compute all of this information and filter it all to arrive at warning: "Threat" or "Possible Aly" ..... all under a minute.  The masters can talk while taking it all in and processing it all under the world's largest microprocessor:  the woman's mind.

I started my inventory differently.  I guess I wanted to be a bit unbiased and objective when I was comparing her now husband to my husband, her ex-husband.  (Yeah, I know, talking and writing like a woman who is processing information and spewing it out faster than any satellite network (aka faster than the largest telecommunications networks data).  Amazing eh?

I have to admit, I didn't think of it until only a couple of days ago:  Sunday.  The day after the wedding.  We women like to take in information, process it, exume it, but of all store information for later use so we can pull it out and extrapolate it, examine it, research it if need be, so that we have dissected it into the smallest of topics.  Then we speak to our mother, sister, brother, aunt, father, sister's best friend, brothers girlfriend, uncle, friend, acquaintances or therapy session.

I came out the lucky one.  My husband is awesome and he loves his family immensely.  That exuded from him in fumes, so light and almost vaporless.  I won't go on the scorn at her or ask her to give her head a shake.  Her new husband is a shell and only one quarter as interesting as my husband.  And that just about covers every area you can imagine, and the one you thought it implied.

I'll have to make up for being MIA the past few weeks by writing a little be more over the coming weeks.

Be healthy, be happy, and be hypercritical ...........:: LOL, checking to see if you're still with me ............::

Sunday, July 31, 2016

YOU can be anything!

You better believe me
This is very true.  
If you don't believe me,
ask my daughters about 
my son Kyle.

Prouder than the biggest lioness
Everyday he inspires me
by setting the example on 
how to be the better person
or the best version of yourself.

As a mother, it goes back to that
9 month relationship with that
baby in your womb.

Falling in love
When do you start talking to it?
How did you feel from 
the movements?

A womb
A gentle glide,
maybe back and forth.
Watch out for somersaults
because they can be the worse.

Motherhood childhood
If you are the mother of a child
you can probably understand and relate
if you are a child of a mother
there are many things to learn from her.
She didn't go to school for the job,
she wasn't told what it would entail, the
highs, the lows, the championships, the falls.
She knows it all
Yet she still is your biggest fan
single loudest cheerleader
Instant defender, protector, teacher, scolder, nagger.

When was the time
when you stopped listening
and just started doing?
Somewhere between adolescence and
motherhood afterhood.  

Is faith belief?
When did you start losing faith?
When faith has been steering you all along.
Not in the way that you'd design it
or be all glitzy and for show.

Inner committee
Is it because you stopped believing
your own press?
Or do you believe that old press
was a mistake?

Where you lose some of that inner glow
where enthusiasm and ideas blow
knocking anyone over in its path, 
or the fury if it didn't pass

The kick in the pants
self discovery talk
Was that with self or
glorious being?
An angel guide  on eagle wings,
takes you away from that place.

Maybe it is an inner mantra
that at first seems quiet

Ebbing towards a much calmer sea
from the beach
or the breaches of my mind.

optimism, gratitude, creativity tide.
Allowing your instincts 
to be your guide.

Wisdom and growth
Maybe with more wisdom
grows the appreciation of the great things
that happen behind the spotlight
of a social media glow.

Gratitude is
creating an appreciation
like never before.
For the very best things 
that you can enjoy.
For free, out there, helpful, 
creative and pure.

Love of a dove
Spread those wisdom wings
and wrap those so dear
whom you love
with all your soul
like a beautiful dove.

Far reaching
High outtabounds
limitless, boundless
energy abounds.
Through the coming
of one
with your soul.

Beginning to uncover
the real you.
Who was likely covered,
burdened, trodden so the
spirit may have fallen low.

Singing to others
by writing, tweeting, posting hello
to those who help make her grow.
Surrounded by talented by three
thousand times the speed of sound.

Her audience, her readers and growing fans
don't quite know what to make of this
lady so grand.
With style, with grace,
with wisdom to share.

Because of her age,
merely a number,
but because of it 
gathers many asunder.

For beauty wherever and whatever form
is in tuned with the beat of what most want to feel
A champion for others, 
finding inspirational

Beacon of light
To inspire, lighten a spirit, lift a mood.
To restore optimism to others
is a duty born
To stomp out hate, violence and/or fear.
To return to the important
things to hold dear.

Not money, not wealth, not even fame.
Can drown out the inspiration
many will claim.
As their right, their worth, and
wisdom reborn.

Let's spread our wings 
and let those gifts soar.
We can make a safer,
even more beautiful world.
We reach out beginning with one
and grow in affection and support.

among dreamers
because they eventually
become visionaries.
The ones that are 
easily discounted.

Yet rise above the clamour and noise
where radios and televisions on mute or off.
The people's choices emerge,
sending messages out as a blurb.

Telling a story
of grow and learning.
To instigate allegiance
to this yearning.

Of gathering
the still
yet like minded.
Forming a voice
that cannot be contended.

Fire and heat
The thermometer and furnaces
of hate, racial bias, violence and corruption
are burning bright
with heat to those who draw too near.

Taking steps
while they're stepping back
from the dreaded topics
of poverty and despair.
Like turning one's head
at a roadside wreckage.

How can we be mere
Luckily, there are others 
who make us look and reconsider
our role in humanity, our planet, 
our young and our elders.

One thing I know as a mother is how gifted my son Kyle is with people.  Over 27 years, I have wondered how can I capture the ingredients and sell it for a whole lot of people who need to have a better attitude on life.  Be more thankful.  Appreciate others more.  Judge less.  

His sister called me to tell me the coolest thing.  It reminded me of a phenomena that is uniquely Kyle:  once you meet him, you can never possibly forget him.  Apparently, still so.

This sis of his called to say she applied to this hipster hangout for the trendiest of youngest group of Millennial explosion (22 or something close to that).
They instantly hired her on the spot, without not even 1/2 of a 1/2 of a percent of Bernie Saunders math, pause.  She was merely told, if you're the sister of Kyle, you are on our team without hesitation.

How's Kyle?
I forgot how often after school, or in summer months, I would meet some of his teachers, in the community, grocery shopping, doing stuff.  It wasn't uncommon for someone to walk up to me to ask me how Kyle was doing?

With an imaginative soul.
Can you imagine that?  It was amazing, yet as you drift along in this tide, you don't get a chance to really stop and take in that it is probably even a bigger and more unique gift than any politician could commit more than a decade in learning how to smile at people just right, giggle, chuckle or full body laugh.  

just has it.
The "it"
YES, that IT
the thing we
all want

To be liked,
for being a really good person.
To be loved,
because he makes us want to be better.

We watch, we learn
He shows us that it isn't 
the toughest, the richest, the most obvious
who are the most talented.
It is usually someone who is gifted.  
Sometimes, even more less, 
discovered as a true treasure 
for our world.  

Lighting the way
Like a Nelson Mandela, 
not merely an Oprah Winfrey.  
The difference is obvious.
One dwells in the limelight
while the other is far away
from the spotlight.
A legacy of our times.
Like the Dali Lama who is still among us.
Or for some like me, fairly unknown, yet mysterious.

A lot of little somethings
So maybe that is something
worth delving into.
What makes one person so great
that others remember

Who wants that chance
to be the best of who they are NOT
diving deep into the talent
yet undiscovered.

With quiet humility and dedication
one can only hope to make a dent.
Help one person out of despair.
Failing hope.
Growing disbelief.
Not looking back because
the wreckage is in front of them.

How do you repair, restore faith,
uncover talent?
By cheerleading the unheard,
the unfamous, 
not infamous.

Exploring lands and cultures
without touching new soil.
That's what in front of us,
if you just focus on the most
beautiful, peaceful and hopeful
images, readings, teachings
stirring within new belief.

in yourself
in what you are capable
of doing.
Not yesterday, NOW.
Not tomorrow, NOW.

Images are all courtesy of Google from a GOOGLE SEARCH.  I would like to thank all the creators and give them tribute as one, easily found.

The tribute to Harry Potter is by design for two reasons:

1) The main character in "Goldfinch" the book that I am heavily engrossed in right now, is nicknamed "Potter" by his best friend.

2) There is a lot of excitement surrounding the release of yet another Harry Potter, to international instant acclaim, by J.K. Rowling:  a true inspiration for women everyWHERE as this century's #bestofeverything #womenofinspiration 

a really cool read

Victor Hannover: 45 years old !! Who am I ? A happy Reporter !!!

A simple thing

I came across these words on a Facebook share :: .... WOW!  L-u-c-k-y MOI!  I have to confess, I took a huge liberty here.  You see, I did ask the poster whether they were his words and, if so, did I have his permission to use them?  But as usual with a percolating mind, I know if I don't exude the idea or at, the very least, write it all down.  

That's the beauty of having a blog, really.  You write about what you want to, about things that matter to you, you may even invent a thing or two.  The secret may be, to dig deep, deep down.  Just like the heroic miners in the absolute 5*START #bestofeverything for must see #movie ::.... brilliant landscape, scenery and set portraying a mine cavern.  Disjointed jointed point there BTW meaning you have to dig down very deep to find strength to go on and try to sort out your true purpose in life.  Like the miners had to survive.  Where you have to dig down deep to not just merely survive, but move to where your star should be.  In the universe or twinkling above home.

Love this!! GREAT music, inspiring quotes or words (this is my Friday night, BTW) ::....... when creativity explodes as you escape the daily grind of "the job".  Oh, excusssse moi ~ career climb for others.

No finer purpose
than none.   My purpose has had free reign these days.  I can't decide if I'm going to be a grumpy old fartess or a steady fashionista fighting her 50s (with another 5 years to go ..... in that age bracket, I hope, is all).  With encouragement, or self-belief, just continue to blog and reach the pinnacle of my dream ::... which would be (drum roll) ....:: a professional blogger.  (Stop with those giggles and snorts).

A simple thing
can help us grow.
A something that we should appreciate.
Allow us to glow.
Fall to the wayside
away they go.

Where have you gone?
All those friends
we knew long ago
or was it yesterday?
My, how the years flow.

I'm getting tired 
of "what might have been."
Yesteryears with spent tears
I need a new idea to burst forth
with brute force
to set the ceiling as the sky

need a new place to go
really just tired of no go.
No go anywhere
fast or slow.
Except to work I hate
in a group with distaste.
At a place that doesn't care,
no, doesn't care whatsoever
about their local employees.
Ready to offshore
more and more of our jobs
Just to keep a profit
bigger bonus for execs.
Then, there's Mauritius to see across the sea.

So why don't we go?

When you hit an age or a moment
when you wonder if you'll let go
Say to heck with it all and go seek life
Wouldn't that be surprising?
Would it cause an uprising?
Only they'll know .... i guess.

This could be the end
of my sanity or that
brilliant glow.
That seemed to follow you
for so many years
then you feel they've stopped
before you realize it was you
who has slowed down

of everything ....
i regret ... i can barely think of a few.  
Not bad when you reckon how the years grew.
Landing me smack dab in the top of the hill
or on a steady downward climb.

so why don't we go
somewhere you're craving or
go to see someone we both know.
That we know
only we know
about them.

somewhere we know
to be discovered if
we simple go
and do 
what we want to

only we know 
when that'll be
today after something or
tomorrow after that
we'll float away to
fade away
from those that barely
we know.

....:: entertaining while visually stimulating while you are lulled by the words and musical backdrop to Keane's hauntingly beautiful voice ::....

Where have you gone?
I'm getting tired 
need a new place to go
So why don't we go?
This could be the end
of everything ....
what we know
so why don't we go
somewhere we know
where only we know 

I took a number of liberties with Keane and hope he doesn't mind.  Just writing this makes me realize that Keane could just be the name of the band, and not any one person.  

How embarrassing if that is the case.  Yet the intent was to just let go.  Write whatever I want to write.  The real purpose was to recommend two movies, actually:  Concussion and 33.  Regardless of your age ::... inBETWEENER ...:: or Millennial ::... will recognize Keane as a simple thing ... really good stuff and #bestofeverything in music right now (see date on blog).

Thanks for the shares on facebook, #RT on Twitter, PLUS thumbs up on Google Plus+ et al.  Thanks +Philippe TREBAUL @socialfave for your great support.  It has greatly impacted the increase of followers, and I know your tool really made a difference.  Everyone::... go check em out!!