In pursuit of excellence

Is the bar too high?

Do you often compare yourself to others::  beauty, looks, success, wealth, home, car, job?  Ahem, or career.

First, let me apologize because I was trying to sideswipe you to continue as if there hasn't been a few weeks since the last time I blogged.


Do we strive too far?

There comes a certain point in your life when you are at an event, more likely social, more alarming family ::.... and you just POP in your head!  Just like that with the zippy exclamation point (don't overdue it with multiples::.... that screams desperate for attention ....:: so you tend to ignore it or stop reading right there).

I found myself at my stepdaughter's wedding, as the "evil stepmother" I told everyone I was.  That was to downplay no input and my manners meter on high alert.   It became a time that because of my non role yet close observer of the past 12 years of the bride's life.

Try facing off two mother grizzly bears, it may not be pretty.  But manners prevailed and we treated each other with one acknowledgement and handshake (no hug and definitely no kiss to signify how genuine our gestures were).

Thankfully I'm no "other woman".   I came from picking up the pieces of a divorce and trying to make sure her kids were glued together.   I'm not even going to give it any respect and avoid saying that I'm the victim.  Because I was the woman in the marriage, the career magnifico, mom superior superwoman, and likely lastly wife.

At such a juncture in time and after 12 years, it would be misleading to not say that there was curiosity out there.  I mean, the "other woman" had had the chance to be involved this duo were, instead deciding to leap outta the picture to avoid the scandal that even not that many years ago would have been frowned upon.

So who was this mother and former wife?  I guess I wanted to see for myself and do what we do best we women, compare myself to this woman.  How pathetic when you think about it because I could not believe anyone would give up the chance to be married and committed to Rob for the awesome, thoughtful teddy bear he is.

I then decided to be less traditional::.... compare myself to the ex-wife, mother whom I played Head Coach for daughter ::..... most women wouldn't admit to it, be it they are the wrongee or the wrong doer, that they compare themselves to the other woman.  There are a lot of ridiculous benchmarks that just POP out there again.

• Looks
• Grooming
• Manners
• Poise
• Success
• Beauty
• Clothes
• Accessories
• Jewellery
• Shoes (did they match the purse?)
• Any scarf, nail manicure, pedicure, evidence of formal fix er up
• Body size, body shape, curvy, skinny, plump, thin
• Make up, eyebrow shape and whether it needs plucking
• Hair color, health, fried or gleaming?
• Teeth white, whitener, straightened by braces or hidden behind veneers
• Her kid(s) all of the above times however many kids
• Work, stay-at-home mom, work-at-home mom, job, status, organization

I sorta apologize ::.... I got on a roll.  But the amazing part is that we can compute all of this information and filter it all to arrive at warning: "Threat" or "Possible Aly" ..... all under a minute.  The masters can talk while taking it all in and processing it all under the world's largest microprocessor:  the woman's mind.

I started my inventory differently.  I guess I wanted to be a bit unbiased and objective when I was comparing her now husband to my husband, her ex-husband.  (Yeah, I know, talking and writing like a woman who is processing information and spewing it out faster than any satellite network (aka faster than the largest telecommunications networks data).  Amazing eh?

I have to admit, I didn't think of it until only a couple of days ago:  Sunday.  The day after the wedding.  We women like to take in information, process it, exume it, but of all store information for later use so we can pull it out and extrapolate it, examine it, research it if need be, so that we have dissected it into the smallest of topics.  Then we speak to our mother, sister, brother, aunt, father, sister's best friend, brothers girlfriend, uncle, friend, acquaintances or therapy session.

I came out the lucky one.  My husband is awesome and he loves his family immensely.  That exuded from him in fumes, so light and almost vaporless.  I won't go on the scorn at her or ask her to give her head a shake.  Her new husband is a shell and only one quarter as interesting as my husband.  And that just about covers every area you can imagine, and the one you thought it implied.

I'll have to make up for being MIA the past few weeks by writing a little be more over the coming weeks.

Be healthy, be happy, and be hypercritical ...........:: LOL, checking to see if you're still with me ............::

Spring 2016 makeup for a 50s fashionista

Spring is my favorite time of year!  It is all about new beginnings, flowers peaking out of the soil to reach the warm beams of the sun, and, of course, it is my birthday (I turn 55 on April 18th).  Granted,  I am  a bit biased.

One of the things I like to write about on Meanderings are interests based on being a 50s fashionista (or wannabe) grappling with the challenge that we shouldn't try to dress like our 20-something daughters, nor should we age before our time with our mother's elderly good looks.

Then we have to toss in our body types, and any of the challenges we may have to adapt to changes happening.

"Aging gracefully is one thing, but trying to slow it down is another." 

                             ~Courteney Cox

Nothing says that we can't embrace bright colors, florals, patterns or hip looks, we just have to make sure it suits us.  We should be able to understand what makes us feel good :: and that usually goes hand in hand with makeup and beauty.

One thing I'm proud of is I come from great stock :: both my parents always look/ed years younger.  So I really appreciate it when the youngsters tell me I look like I'm in my late 30s or early 40s :: I think it all comes down to what I said :: finding your zone in beauty and fashion, and being able to pull it off.

At 4 ft 11, or rounded up to 5 ft, you're right to think that I would have fashion challenges of my own.  I've always liked the "chic" look and try to stay true to that.  So, to help others, I will share what I have adopted as my own Spring 2016 look.

It all starts with the eyes.  Studies say that people usually are drawn to the eyes first.  I was blessed with green ones and tend to focus on that wonderful feature.  I don't go for the dramatic eyeliner and you've already read about my lash extensions drama. I just happen to have taken a photo of my eyes just for this emphasis.

Go ahead and laugh at my creative license :: fooling around in Microsoft Paint is fun!  I use a moisturizer to start always after cleansing.  Having sensitive skin, I have learned that I have to stick with something that works because when I try something new, too rich in oils or perfumes, I break out.  (There goes the myth that you don't break out in zits once you pass menopause).  I rely on my fail-safe Oil of Olay for sensitive skin:

To define my basic look, I do sponge off of magazines and beauty counters for inspiration.  It isn't that difficult to find nude colors this spring :: it is everywhere.  I'm chomping at the bit to try Urban Decay after watching an INC. video interview of Sandy Lerner, founder of Oracle.  (I want to do a blog about redoing her look with a few modifications so that she gives up that 70s look that she seems to be holding on to).

I have already gravitated to nude as my eye base color for the simple reason that it brings out the green color of my eyes.  I would think it would suit any gal in her 50s.  (HINT :: just because you've survived menopause doesn't mean you should boycott makeup!)

I always use the lightest of light tones for my eyebrow bone (far left) and then a soft, lighter color for the lid (right in the middle).  I have the heaviest hand on the lid because I don't want it to fade as the day progresses.  I find that eye makeup with a bit of frost to it tends to adhere to the skin more successfully.  I define the upper lid with a muted softer yet darker tone for definition (7 from left).  Then it is mascara, mascara and more mascara.  

We can still learn from the young.  My stepdaughter always has thick lashes that seems to coat the mascara on.  My lashes are longer and finer, so I can avoid that thick, clumped on look.  I still swear by my recent discovery ::  L'Oreal's two step mascara :: a white base, then a black mascara :: when that dries, I then apply my Clinique mascara, followed by the butterfly effect mascara by Maybelline.  This has been from trial and error repeatedly to find something that works.  My makeup regime takes 5-10 minutes at most.

However, let me not forget the crowning glory of eyebrow brushing to finish for a polished look.  Given I have lighter eyebrows, it is a must for me.  I do battle with the temptation of fake lines and heavy handedness.  Instead, I use a complimenting eyebrow liner to give distinction, it closely matches the color of the eyebrow mascara :: MAC is the best I'm convinced.   Au natural is my focus.

When too much is just too much.

Yes, some ladies think this doll looks good??

Safe to say :: I am not battling my age :: I am glorifying my God given gifts and attempting to show that you can be both subtle and classy.  I'm not a fan of heavily caked on makeup that screams defying age tactics.  If it works for other gals, it is fine for me.

I almost forgot ::  the lipstick!!  It is the final touch to your canvass.  I absolutely adore my latest find :: Colorblur by Maybelline's "lipstudio" ::

Two colors I have already :: one for evening and one for Spring days.

A liner, lipstick and sealer all in one in an array of spring colors.

This discovery is fantastic.  You put it on and it lasts for hours, even while drinking coffee!

 If you have to insist on the old fashioned way, I did find among Google's treasure trove, instructions on how to properly do your lipstick.  (Seems like a lot of work to me now that I've found utopia with Colorblur) ::

Here is an ode to mature beauties who are hitting their stride while maintaining status as beauty icons, embracing their 50s in 2016::

Robin Wright celebrated her 50th birthday April 8th

Janet Jackson turns 50 on May 16th

Halle Berry turns 50 on August 16th

Salma Hayek turns 50 on September 2

There you have it :: style mavericks who are still dancing to their own drum.  What do they all have in common?  To me, they're not disguising their age nor are they caking on the makeup or trying tricks or the latest tactics :: they seem to know what works for them and stick to with it.  They appear graceful and poised :: ready to take on the next decade.

"Stop whining about getting old.  It's a privilege."                               

                                                                     ~Amy Poehler