I was having this conversation with my sister the other day. Heaven help me if I even remember what our train of thought may have been... do you have a sister that you really relate to even though your worlds may seem so far apart?
My sister is as opposite of me as the world could even imagine:
- she was born in the autumn and I in the Spring
- we saw our growing up differently: she full of pain; me full of belief
- while I can come across gregarious she could come across as calm and reasoning
- our relationships, kids, friends are friends of each other too - they find it easier to like the other
- you enjoy shopping together and would never imagine skydiving - although one would have if she thought about it while the other wouldn't have dared (me).
- you both reach for the same things even if our home, our taste, would seemingly be different
Sidetracked again. Apologies ... then what the heck do you expect of me by now? It appears as though I have writing AHSD. Thank goodness not in real life: I can be excruciatingly organized and detailed while consciously trying not to be so the opposite is perceived.
This is what the conversation was about: the one that got away. How bizarre eh?
Two sisters of 18 months apart in their fifties having an absurd reminiscence. Opposite memories, no doubt. She talked and I listened for a change. Yeh, not a regular occurrence by any means.
My conscious memory a week later pops this into my head as I'm driving home. I know I listened carefully. I am really trying to be a better listener, which is not a natural state.
She talked about this boy that she really liked when she had run away from home. As much as she seemed like a radical from candy-coated pink 15-year-old eyes, I seem more like a rebel now that I've hit my 50s.
The memory went on in the manner that this sort does: what would have or could have happened if she had not broken his heart and stayed with him.
Astonishing! The responsible, loving, caring mother, daughter, sister or aunt, was actually rewinding life to check back and check in to what she thought she'd be doing once she hit her 50s.
STOP and have a listen, or play while you read on through
So many wondrous movies are about going back in time, less about heading into the future. It must be a creative dream, to take a situation and from the current state, to what had happened, and how things may have gone differently. I now realize that the surprise in store for the reader or viewer, is will the hero or heroine return to the current state much differently or very much the same with differences.
That is such a creative morsel of temptation. Take a situation or moment in your life, and fast rewind and slowly play forward. Taking the audience on a ride that even you may not predict. Will you return differently or much the same with differences ...
What do I mean? My sister ... was doing that in a sense. She was wondering if she had stayed with that very nice boy, not broken his heart, and stayed together. She wasn't evaluating it, nor was she suggesting that she was disatisfied with how things turned out.
It was a simple, honest meandering .... My sister was highlighting what we go through when we hit or 40s and 50s. We really aren't all that different than we were in our teens. The ride we'd be on at the time would result in whether we are currently on the ride of our lives, or too conservative. Or, some of us would recall that maybe they could have been a little bit braver or self-confident at our teens. Others of us blossom as life and the years make us milder, more content. While others of us become restless and want to step out.
What would your comfort zone and would you have done things differently then and end up different somehow?
I am torn between staying the same or being more carefree. How does one's homelife be the same and yet be reacted far apart?
I couldn't have imagined things getting any worse so I would madly try to be an over-achiever. Perhaps some experts would say that was because I was a fighter and did whatever it would take to have a life that would erase anything. My sister may say that she was acting it out.
Deal with it now is what most would applaud. Get it out of your system so you can grow up and get on with life. In a measured, grounded, spiritual way.
If you bottle it up you may never know when it will sprout. Maybe that is what they mean by mid-life crisis? When it hits or skips over anyone, would be a multi-zillion market.
Many marketers, services or products are divided into two groups:
ONE: Going through mid-life crisis.
Are you meandering about the one who got away? Examine whether you think things would have turned out differently, or would have it made a difference.
Create a balance between the two: Don't pine for what may have been. Instead, create the life now that would be a different you .... or the same you with a little change.
Now this is how I really feel: