My husband and I suddenly had it dawn on us that we are truly empty nesters ... EUREKA!
The first dawning was Thanksgiving. It was peaceful and quiet. Almost too quiet. We're used to all four kids and boyfriends and orphans join us for Thanksgiving (last weekend for Canadians). My son wasn't there to claim ownership of the almighty drumstick. There was no circle of thankfulness that has been a tradition that I have tried to enforce. That is when we go around the table and everyone speaks to what they are thankful for.
Typically, the "Thanksgiving Story" is told by me of when I was a single mom, as usual trying to do several things at once. I had prepared the stuffing for the bird, and had it all ready to assemble. I also had a deadline to get my youngest to the outdoor soccer field for tryouts for the upcoming indoor season. There never seemed to be enough time or alternatively, I was juggling priorities. I ran up and had a shower before I was going to get the turkey stuffed and prep'd before we headed out. The bread cubes were all ready, celery and onions diced for mixing. All it needed was the crowning by spices.
When I came downstairs to do the final stuffing, the kids were still around, and giggling amongst themselves. Well, they had a field day! Someone thought it would be a good idea to "help" spice the turkey stuffing.
To my dismay, when I went to mix the stuffing I couldn't help but notice a lot of colorful contributions added. The kids had raided the spice cupboard adding cupcake colorful sprinkles and candies in the dressing. Oh horror was me. I was beyond stressed by this because they had soaked into the breadcrumbs casting a colorful rainbow of tint throughout.
As a single mom trying to hang on to normal family traditions was ruined because the stuffing was sweetened beyond recognition. I was upset, a cross between anger and angst.
I needed to get out the door and get Kelsey to her soccer field and running out of time. I had no more ingredients left for the stuffing. So I just put the turkey in the oven, trying to "make champagne out of vinegar" (one of my favorite attitude adjustments when things are not the best circumstances).
Not to be outdone by the mischievous crew, I put a third of the stuffing into a baking dish and threw it in the oven, despondent over the missing aroma of turkey roasting with the wonderful smell of the typical spices mixed with turkey.
When we sat down for dinner, I gave each one of the kids a heaping spoonful of their stuffing creation and told them that since they had put an effort into making it, they were going to try it.
I like to say that I don't get mad, I get even. This was a perfect example. This is when they fessed up and told me that along with the candy sprinkles they had added Pepto Bismal, aspirin, and Tums into their creation. I was horrified that I could be poisoning the kids with the added ingredients if I forced them to take a mouthful.
I tell the story over fits of giggles every year. To the dismay of the family, because it is just too priceless not to reminisce for the past 10 years and counting. It is more with fondness at their banding together to play a trick on mom I most enjoy.
Perils of entrepreneurship
You may find this HILARIOUS (I hope). I signed up with a dating site called Elite Partner . com because the owner/principle
is a former colleague of mine from HP.
Back then, he worked on behalf of our enterprise clients internally, while i was
the product manager and project manager for server builds, ensuring security,
apps, and such were assembled.
It was a time of legends. I worked with pretty amazing people who were beyond merely talented and most bordered on genius. Some really superb people. It was really interesting. I loved it.
It was unfortunate that saving money at all costs meant offshoring more
and more North American jobs.
Do you find it ridiculous that I signed on to a dating site, me happily married, in
order to do a proposal for Elite to launch their social media program and write
their blog. I did go to check on it and, yes,
the owner had popped on to see if I had signed up as I said I would. He would have been surprised if I had not
because that was what he liked most about working with me. We were both under a lot of pressure, driven
by technology which was hard enough keeping up with personal technology. I have a pet peeve of those that over promise
or under deliver.
Well I DO have other PET PEEVES:
Clipping nails:
that is as personal a thing as plucking eyebrows, popping zits and
similarly are all intended at one's own discretion in their own private
moments. Like scraping the inside of
your nose because it feels crusty and it looks like a pick. There are just some things only meant to be
done in private.
Chewing gum:
I have rarely, mostly never met anyone who chews gum with any elegance
or class. Mostly everyone I see chewing
gum looks like they are battling the gum or attacking it. I suppose if you just wanna zone out and not
talk, and you are alone.
Have'at'er. You have the freedom
to decide what to do with your free time.
Me, I like to spend time on iTunes, listening to my music channels or
their choices for me. I joined up for iCOULD
more cohesively and liking that a lot.
BROKEN PROMISES are a toughie and I think most
people agree with me. Very few people
enjoy being on the broken end of a promise.
AND OTHER THINGS that matter...
I am a somewhat chatty, gregarious, outgoing
person. At 5 ft, I always say (after my
favorite: "when the going gets tough, the tough go shopping") that
"what I lack in stature, I make up in ATTITUDE". I would say I am a very the "glass is
half full, and start looking where the other half went to" kind of a
person.
I'd rather distract someone and steer them away
from anger, bitterness, whining, bragging to talk about me. That is enough to aggravate them to forget what they may have been complaining or talking down someone else about.
I haven't been blogging here as much because I've
been "distracted writing". Not
while driving, of course. There could be
a fine for that in Alberta, specifically Calgary, where I live. I have to say that the media is pretty quiet
about this. Is it because it isn't
policed very much, difficult to police or hardly anyone care enough to
ask?
Many are likely similar to me. I rarely watch "reality TV". So much why due to the fact that I can pick
out the actors paid to act like they're contestants when they're really playing
a part. Quite brilliant if you ask
me. Why go to numerous dissapointing
auditions when you can just pick one character, that could be like your alter
ego, and act that part for reality TV.
Kinda like that Chumly character on "PAWN STARS".
I just watched last night, one of the latest
NETFLIX productions about Mascots competing at a world event. What a riot of a plot. Same idea as this, really. The portrayers are being MASCOTS. As in the people under the costume as well as
the performance art as a mascot. You
could almost feel yourself want to clap along with the show's audience, so much
like REAL PEOPLE that it feels like you're invading into someone's personal
home video.
The reality TV of all time is going on right now.
This US Presidential Elections is going
to go down as the greatest political fight of all time. Just think of the stakes: the United States of America may actually
vote for their very first woman President.
I wrote about this a couple of months ago .... more about the
opportunity to have its first female President may end up being too difficult
to resist.
 |
| Pilary Clinton |
Hilary Clinton, or Pilary as
I like to call her (from "Pi" in Pinochio combined with "lary" taken from her first
name). The first of its kind was back in
(I'm going to go looking and fast checking on this) the 1990s I think with
Jennifer Lopez and Ben Affleck. Was it
Bennifer? Can't quite remember exactly. Recently, we were reminded about
Bradgelina.
 |
| Mein Trump |
Then there is Trump. Who's biggest celebrity fan must be Cosby. I'm guessing that Cosby has made donations to the
Trump Camp merely as a token of appreciation for distracting media and
audiences away from his never-ending women disgrace and accusers. Cosby is now looking to head up the chapter
of "I'm not as bad as him". A
chapter dedicated to adding membership like a veteran's club of disgraced men
of yesteryears. Does anyone really care
anymore that Russell Brandt seems to have some issues. I can't say I've paid any attention of late,
but there seemed to be some sort of fascination of bedding any female worth his
plight. Even wedding one
who would refuse to be seduced until she had a ring on it which said "I
do".
I really don't know who the American people are
going to choose. Honestly, if it were
me, I'd be jumping into super bionic mode to be able to vote (an 80s term for you young'uns as in
BIONIC MAN from the "Six Million Dollar Man").
The
80s had one of the greatest decades of breaking out super star legends, in my
opinion. The ideas that began in the 80s
have built a foundation for audiences and fans to this day with reincarnations
of everything 80s: music, fashion,
TV shows, cult scene.
I remember.
Wasn't it the guy that was the BIONIC MAN, Lee Majors, married to the
biggest sex symbol of that era, and in a dead heat with Marilyn Monroe for sex
symbol and iconic as Diana, mother of William and Harry. Farrah Fawcett was her name. I'm not sure if she was the biggest PIN UP of
all time? But I'm sure it would be a
close runner up to that one of Greta Gable or the movie siren of the 40s bought
by GIs fighting the world over in WWII.
I'll have to get that name and image for insertion here too.
Mindfulness
It really feels like the empty nesting has hit us with full force. I guess like after any traumatic events, it takes a while to get over them (in our case blending 4 kids together as they were just hitting their teens, 3 of them girls born 3, 2 and 2 years between each of them.) I'm writing in circles. Well, it is intuitive and mindful of the mom
Mindfulness.
This craze has not even hit magnetic gigantic proportions yet. I predicted in my optioneerJM blogspot a year
ago April 2015, that there were really good reasons why Adult Coloring Books
were a brilliant idea. I researched the
benefits and started doing it. It really
had a way of calming me, relaxing me.
You are not chilling out truly unless you are coloring in an adult
coloring book. Sitting back with
headphones on listening to music doesn't come close to the europhoria of
coloring. It is like formal, authentic
permission was given to do one of your most favorite activities you had as a
child: coloring.
It really
wasn't a gender biased thing either. It
was perfectly acceptable for elementary aged boys and girls to like
coloring. The boys ended up still having
their sports in there while girls were shoppers-in-training with Barbies. Barbies taught girls of my age that one pair
of shoes was never going to be enough, with mininimum requirements of one in
every color, heels of every height, wedge, spike, stilletto with a purse to
match and jewellery to accessorize with.
And the plain black or navy Channel-esk suit was ever enough. Unless, of course, your accessories were vast
and all real or really good costume jewellery.
I remember back in the early 2000s when I was
researching to launch a National magazine for an airline in Canada. I recognized then, the franchise that Oprah
was making with launching her own magazine:
O! Its popularity in print was
solidified by Winfrey's golden touch.
Making it about beautifying the
outer body, while purify the inner soul.
Back at the time, VOGUE, PEOPLE and the NEW YORKER were reigning in
media vibe.
Today is replaced by the moment is now. As in mindfulness is the next big springboard
to capture the major population. Reduce
your stress, eliminate your anxiety, calm yourself the hell down awareness can
be found in MINDFULNESS. It really only
is about being aware of the present moment.
Right now. With practice and
discipline combined with obedience training, one can become mindful. No longer a slave of yesterday's
disappointments or yearnings. As in
letting go, get over it are no longer needed to be heard. You just stop dwelling on yesterday or yester
years. No longer yearning.
Tomorrow isn't here yet. Mindfulness has the ability to train your
patience. This would be the most
excrutiating exercise for those with anxiety, depression or stifled fears about
tomorrow. With mindfulness, you are
centered, balanced with a full stake in the present. A steady hand, a graceful pose. You stay here. Take time to smell the roses: take a sniff of the air with the freshly cut
lawn, or check which flowers actually have scent. You dismiss buying anything that doesn't have
any. If you are in a mindful state, you
can only think about how it smells now.
You are not allowed to remember when or in what surrounding you were
when you first were given a rose, from a former boyfriend, a floral bouquet as
a bride or a bridesmaid. Nor are you
allowed to jump to tomorrow to think how you will investigate where to buy the
most fragrant roses or flowers because that is invading the space or bursting
the bubble of the now parameters.
Mindfulness boundaries are clearly defined and boxed in between before
and tomorrow.
I did begin to say that I have been
distracted. I set up a couple of more
Blogs so it defintely thins my writing out on here. I apologize for that. The good part is I can experiment and find
what I like writing about without breaking into this theme or the business-Y theme
of optioneerJM blog (link on right).
I've discovered an interest in finding really good poems and have
tailored The Publisher blog more on that side.
That is more a creative outlet than anything because I am not writing
the poetry, I'm merely humbly sharing the very great ones. Then enjoying the find of a great image, art
piece or photograph that seems to resonate with the poem. My interpretation of it at least.
I did miss writing on this one. I am more about just letting go and enjoying
the sphere of writing, not worrying about the focus or trying to analyze any
self-discovery. A journaling of sorts on
a massive scale when you think about just putting it out there and see if
anyone reads.
I'm actually learning to embrace the present
moment in writing. Actually it is quite
freeing. In a mindfulness-sort-of-way
I'm writing what I'm thinking about now.
Less and less on reminincing of yesterday. Although a blip on the radar will always
emerge, as did earlier even in this blog when some of the 80s coolness is
rebounding again. A marriage of what was
cool back then is adopted as even tres cooler now. More apparent with Millennial generation.
A lot of restraint and discipline I need help
focus with is NOW. It is a really
nasty habit to break if you are trying to hang on, be still attached of things
that were long enough that they are only relevant to you. Not interesting to anyone other than
you. To be a better writer, if you are
teaching or informing people of something that, unless a historical or bio, is
only interesting to you.
As a parent you watch your kids glide from one
area of awareness to quite a different one.
What was once a fascination with them when you shared a memory or a cool
childhood event they were rapt with attention (more likely because it was past
their bedtime and they thought they were masterful distractors or potential
politicians). To now, it is me me me and
mine ..... and they don't even fart or burp anymore like they used to drive me
crazy and see if they could get a passionate angry reaction from.
I can't abide by disrespect and poor
manners. I'm growing into my Mz Mannerz
persona who is wrestling with the Grammar Queendom. You, as a reader, get to follow along. As long as you turn on and tune in. Should be fun.
The nice part of being in the now. I am writing this for me now. Not worried necessarily if I had any readers
yesterday or a building audience tomorrow.
I can't change that right at the present time. I can only control what I am writing right
now. So, it is good enough for now. It doesn't matter if it will be good enough
for tomorrow or if readers from the past will return or if it will do better
than my few pageviews blog. Pretty
impressive, not out of this world by any means.
I don't mind being responsible for cultivating
the best, niceful, peaceful "REMEMBERS WHENs" of tomorrow. I can't even sway the outcome or force the
present moment to be any different. I'm
content where I am at this very present moment.
Forcing myself to focus on this the weekend, ignore any anxiety or
worries about work next week or whatever else pops up bigger or smaller than
what I can imagine.
I have a lot to learn about MINDFULNESS and that
is okay. I like to become a student of a
topic that I am intrigued by. Reading
and understanding it so that I can slam the door on any regrets or great
memories ... nor jumping or fast forwarding ahead to what tomorrow brings .....
steering perhaps but not quite in total control of. That's ok.
The weight of the befores and the pressure of the tomorrows are a big
burden to lift. But once let go, the
possibilities are really truly amazing and endless. I can only imagine that now.
