Sunday, January 26, 2020

REGRET: is an energy drain

Sometimes we're young
with old souls.

Other times, we're old, 
wanting to hang on to
youth as long as we can.

~Jeannette Marshall



Technically, I am not a senior citizen at 58.  According to my millennial daughter:  I am not able to call myself a senior citizen, I'm too young.  But if I want her to call me old, she'll call me an old fart.

Payback is a bitch.
You want to raise strong, independent daughters who gather all the facts, evaluate the situation, and then act without reservations or hesitation.  Knowing the decision was made at a time when the facts and scenario presented works to the best you can do.  Never regretting the decisions you've made because you know that at the time, what was in front of you, it was the best thing to do.

Instincts on high alert.
The more you try to trust your instincts, the brain kicks in, needing to be fed and gobble as much justification as one can consume, extrapolate, use good judgement.  

The most difficult steps
require the most scrupulous examination.  There is a feeling of risk.  Butterflies flutter.

If you don't have butterflies 
you aren't taking a big enough risk?

We're trained to believe 
the path with least resistance means
something can be too good to be true.

When you can marry judgement 
with minimal risk, you have arrived.

The sooner you develop that ability
you won't be able to trust your instincts.

Sometimes you take a risk and it backfires.  You blame not listening to your
instincts and ignoring the red flags.

Trying to be mindful is focus on today
which directly contradicts the wisdom to glimpse back with strong conviction that you would have done the exact same thing, under those same circumstances.

Regret is an energy drain
Bitterness leaks into your soul
Energy becomes exhausted
Frustration on captivity
to emotions who freeze you.
Fear emerges.
Action disperses.

Like soap suds down the drain.
The gurgling sound of your
breath sucking air 
in the instant it travels through
your heart.




Writing NEXT:  The cackling noise of a pissed off senior



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