Fatherhood I wrote about fatherhood a year ago as a tribute to my father who passed away five years ago and how much I miss him. This year, I want to comment about the fatherly influences that don't get acknowledged on this day.
Stepfathers My hubby, Rob, is a fantastic father figure to my son, Kyle. Rob makes the effort to connect and relate to Kyle whether it be about sports or video games. Kyle also knows that if he were ever in trouble, he could count on Rob.
Brothers My older brother, Greg, was in charge of our home when we got home from school and before our parents arrived home from work. He would round all four of us kids up, delegate chores, and lead the way. He didn't ask any one of us to do more than he was prepared to do. He is someone I've always looked up to and he leads a life that is exemplary. He is a hard worker, family man who obviously loves his wife and daughter tremendously. He holds only himself accountable for his actions. My son, Kyle, is an amazing brother to both his sisters and his stepsister. He and the soon-to-be-son-in-law are firm friends and have formed a nucleus of family that will be steadfast beyond the years that we've been given. It is nice to know that he will always champion his sisters, be there for them with acts of kindness and be known for his positive spirit. Uncles My kids are really lucky. They have uncles that they can turn to and would and will always be there for them. Their Uncle Tom, who was the eldest of there own father's tribe, was kind, reflective and dolls out wisdom when asked, never forced. My brother, Greg, is an anchor for my daughter who ventured away from her home city, to seek her adulthood with the safety net of her uncle if needed. Handy with a screwdriver, he would put furniture together, move her out and then back in again. He is soft spoken and doesn't opinionate unless asked. Friends From that day when the high school adventure started, my son Kyle had firmly found a friend who has been there for him through what could have been turbulent years, to today, embracing him as one of the best friends to have and to be. His name is Kyle too. I like to think he sets the bar high for possibilities for Kyle to look up to showing that you can have it all - marriage, love, family, fatherhood.
Mothers Don't think it is odd that I have included mothers in this commentary. After all, there are so many single mothers out in the world, due to multiple circumstances, who have the role of both mother AND father. They are the anchor in the home and if you ever wonder about the success of this environment, just watch the 60 Minutes Sports on Marshawn Lynch. A wonderful example of a mother's influence upon her son and the success that can unfold humbly yet fruitfully.
If you do one thing this weekend, check out "Beast Mode" @Beast Mode to support the charitable efforts of Marshawn Lynch through his "Family First Foundation". You will end up with some really cool threads at the same time, or it will be the gift that keeps on giving.
"If you are in your everyday life, and you feel like you just accomplished something big that you had going on, then that's Beast Mode. It's an accomplishment, that you put yourself through something to get something better out of it. I feel that that's Beast Mode. "
Incredible share by NASA on latest PIC of #earth. So breathtaking .... man oh man, isn't it so beautiful? Which means we're all neighbors. Absolutely. Certainly, because we share this vast globe of greenness: trees, shrubs, flowers, vegetables, fruit, jungles and water: oceans, seas, lakes, rivers, along with mountains made of greatness like Mt. Everest. How humble we should feel by the responsibility of this magnitude. We cannot dwell on our enemies, decease, poverty, climate until it is one gigantic undertaking by ALL people of this world. She is our home and we often neglect her, so focus on our agenda are we. We know we host evil and want to abolish it, yet nothing is as important as humanity. Humanity cannot survive without earth. Then why do we band together as ONE community under the executives of the universe -- the Sun and the Moon. Heed the vote to survive. Listen to the scientists observations. Watch the educators knowledge. Who are we to scoff at what they have been telling us? Don't we remember that song: "We ARE the WORLD"? It was a sign of an anthem to be sung. Not for one color, one culture, one religion, one leader, one information outlet, one idol, one animal, one organism, one food. For it is this world we live together. As one. For eternity. Are we abandoning that dream to live in love, health, safety, nutrition, education, religion? Without this earth. We are the same: nothing. Whether by evaporation, extinction, violence, abandon, or death. What we are hearing is we cannot go on any longer, never mind much longer, on this path we march jointly. With deference to our board: the sun and the moon and our people. Why will we miss that meeting? Yes perhaps because we have our own agenda, to the exclusion of survival. It is our world. It is our responsibility. Not one single person alone, but all of us together for one cause: life.
Following Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas?" project in the UK, an idea for the creation of an American benefit single for African famine relief came from activist Harry Belafonte, who, along with fundraiser Ken Kragen, was instrumental in bringing the vision to reality. Several musicians were contacted by the pair, before Jackson and Richie were assigned the task of writing the song. The duo completed the writing of "We Are the World" one night before the song's first recording session, on January 21, 1985. The historic event brought together some of the most famous artists in the music industry at the time.
The song was released on March 7, 1985, as the only single from the album. A worldwide commercial success, it topped music charts throughout the world and became the fastest-selling American pop single in history. The first ever single to be certified multi-platinum, "We Are the World" received a Quadruple Platinum certification by the Recording Industry Association of America. However, the song garnered mixed reviews from journalists, music critics, and the public. Fans enjoyed hearing racially and musically diverse recording artists singing together on one track, and felt satisfied in buying "We Are the World", knowing that the money was going to charity. Other individuals, including many commentators in the rock press, were disappointed that the song did not challenge listeners as to why famines occur in the first place, and felt that the lyrics were self-aggrandizing.
Awarded numerous honors—including three Grammy Awards, one American Music Award, and a People's Choice Award—the song was promoted with a critically received music video, a home video, a special edition magazine, a simulcast, and several books, posters, and shirts. The promotion and merchandise aided the success of "We Are the World" and raised over $63 million for humanitarian aid in Africa and the US.
Following the devastation caused by the magnitude 7.0 Mwearthquake in Haiti on January 12, 2010, a remake of the song by another all-star cast of singers was recorded on February 1, 2010. Entitled "We Are the World 25 for Haiti", it was released as a single on February 12, 2010, and proceeds from the record aided survivors in the impoverished country.
You can't help but read about Jian Ghomeshi from Canada. There is a lot of news surrounding one of our media types named who has plead innocence to numerous allegations of sexual harassment.
Does speaking up harm your reputation? It got me to wondering about the women who spoke up. There is certainly safety in numbers ... being made easier when it wasn't just one whistle blower but several.
Is lodging an official complaint a detriment to your career?I would imagine that being the first one brave enough to come forward was the trickiest. Putting oneself up to the microscope is intimidating and scary.
Unfortunately, society puts that person under a great amount of pressure and scrutiny. We all see it play out so many times, its no wonder that there is deep reflection and struggle before stepping forward.
For every one person who blows the whistle, how many haven't?What about the stories that don't come out? The ones about people who have similar experience but not involve well known figures like Ghomeshi or celebrities like Cosby?
I created a new blog that is a bit more anonymous than one that has a greater audience. I want to be able to write about things that mattered to me but were not associated with who I worked for or related to my career. I am quiet about my identity.
Having said that. I am bothered right now about an announcement I just heard at work. Recognition in expertise. Among them, was this young male colleague that made sarcastic offensive comments to me on a regular basis when I first started. So bad, that those within hearing sucked in their breath, widened their eyes and looked at me to see my reaction.
He thought he was funny when he slighted my height (I'm short), made underhanded jokes about my age (I'm old enough to be his mother) ... you get the picture.
I was new to the organization so I didn't want to start off my career going under the trouble maker or whiner umbrella. Even so, the comments cloaked under humor were offensive and he should have been reprimanded.
I'm not going to judge those within earshot for not doing anything. They were not the object of this person's sorry humor. Perhaps maybe they had been and thought I'd be strong enough to do something. Even though their reaction clearly showed how unacceptable it was. I didn't cower from him, but nor did I lodge a complaint. Hind sight, I probably should have. Not because of the recognition but because he is being set as a positive example. Little do others know.
I was probably right by standing off and not doing anything, thinking that it will eventually catch up with him, as it often does. I was wrong to think that it wasn't my place to lodge an official complaint because I have a sense that people who get away with bad things are good at a number of other things.
I had done something before. Years back a female junior colleague came to me to confide about a senior male who had more than sexually harassed her, he had abused her. I was considering leaving anyway thus I only brought it up on my exit interview when asked: "what could have been prevented to make you decide to stay?". I honestly told. Nothing was done. I was left, the offender stayed for years after. It came off as sour grapes to smear someone perhaps. Timing is everything, but the opportunity did present itself to say something.
Further along in my career in a much more senior position, I reported directly to a President of a company. He was responsible for leading, ensuring signatures and carrying out its Code of Ethics.
During one conversation he voiced concerns about a person allowing personal problems to impact performance. I thought there was an opening and it was appropriate timing to voice that I thought that this gal was a manager who started a personal relationship with a new hire, was a violation of our Code of Ethics. I spoke up not using that terminology simply expressing concern because the "victim" was a subordinate, non manager who ended up with a broken family - a wife with a newborn, betrayed, asked the guy to leave his home. Looking for a place to live, etc. impacted his work performance poorly.
It was clearly a breach of Code of Ethics everyone signed. That executive didn't do anything. One could contemplate it was because the offender had been with him for 15 or so years and he had directly helped her climb in her career.
Sadly, the anguish expressed was from decreased performance, not whether it breached any code. Unfortunately, everyone else saw them leave on breaks and sitting in a parked car together. It sets a tone culturally. I remember his answer that several young people had met and married at this company. I didn't argue, I got that he couldn't distinguish the difference in the situations with two consenting adults.
How difficult is it to separate a personal performance with poor judgment. One can understand where it may come from. However, companies take a no nonsense stand when drugs or DUI situations arise. It just seems so much more difficult and sensitive with personal relationships aligning with company policy.
Do I regret bringing it up with my boss? For my own personal beliefs, absolutely not. Because I signed the same Code of Ethics the others did, absolutely. What is the point of having the clause that a boss cannot have an affair with someone he directly manages or is senior to? Regardless of gender.
Sadly, companies pick and choose who they may make examples of. They may have been considering getting rid of one party anyhow, so they find an excuse to get rid of the person who brought the matter up. Economy, decline in business, yada yada yada. Thanks for your contributions, best wishes for your future.
What saddens me most is that the person who is offended enough to try to right a wrong is caused so much anguish.
One can't contemplate how bad things are going to have to get before someone does something ... sooner than later.
