QUEEN of ADVICE II

The Publisher

About writing, blogging, editing, publishing

A queen of advice ...

December 19, 2017

Sir BUDDY:  My sidekick and assistant 

I wrote this a number of years ago.

Thankfully, I can capture these thoughts and moods as they are dispersed into the universe, hoping optimistically, it can help others.

My one daughter told me once:  some of her friends, read my blog for shits & giggles when they're drunk.

I really haven't imparted that much advice over the years, if anything, sharing that as you enter your 50s, you are charting a new course in life.  No differently than the cliff to leap beyond becomes a metaphor for being at the tip toe point  before you jump :: into a relationship, a new job, a difficult decision, financial security.

I haven't written on this blog for quite some time:  I've been dabbling (cheating on this blog) with creating my own domain website - more than once with different providers (I will write about later), sidestepping to Wordpress (which turned out to be less blogger friendly than anticipated, created a great, small tribe; also alarmed people that maybe I was going to break because of my ramblings .... who not only ditched my blog domain because I couldn't afford the renewal fee.  Well, they can talk to @HostPapa who automatically withdrew funds from my credit card without my permission and during transition to a new credit card number -- the sum of over $400 and ignored my request for a refund.  VISA was absolving itself from the situation, although they had approved the transaction and processed it between the time I had reported the card missing and a new one issued.

At the optioneerJM blog on Wordpress, I was focussed a lot on demographics and numbers:  something that I'm keen on.  Then, scrambled in, were tales of escapades with #Millennial children, how parenting evolves as both you and your child ages to earn their "adulting" medal.

GOOGLE always seems to be tried and true, completely faithful and in tune with who its "customers" are:  the loyal, the influential, the authenticity established over a long waltz of learning, for both of us, really, because my stats there are incredible.  Besides Pinterest, the analytics and insights from Google is still the best in the world.  I can't blame them for wanting to create a revenue stream from all those morsels of data, stored in the cloud - REALLY AHEAD of its time.

On the contrary, Twitter is flexing its muscle and really showing the universe its power and ability to skew the information that lands in our "Trending" sidebar.  

Not only is it "purging" inactive accounts, as a blank statement, Twitter has become vigilantly turfing IDs for abusing "The Rules".

Twitter may have a lot of insights, control and users.  However, they have not been able to monetize it effectively.  Like Google has.

Twitter is a young kid having a temper tantrum after taking critiques (I'm guessing - I will have to go wander and fact-check to see if such a event has occurred) by shareholders (how many? ) and Price per share (TBD) as of today, December 18, 2019.

One thing I have arrived to the conclusion of:  

The definition of  social networking sites that help me become better, narrow my audience, attract high value clicks, into a Global leader in clicks -- this is being shared actively on @Twitter and @LinkedIn ::

LinkedIn:  We've grown together since I began there 12 years ago, then 10 years ago 2020 I went on to Twitter.  

Twitter:  Should be sued for permanently suspending @optioneerJM that is the only way this UPSTART will learn that they cannot mess with people's livelihood, or path to make income associated with the identity that they deleted.  No warning, no conversation, no appeal, no listening by anyone.

Facebook:  Has my most loyal following of all the social sites:  where I have the most clicks, likes, comments, follow through, links to with everything all connecting.

Instagram:  As I evolve my artistic portrayals of eccentric people, Instagram has attracted a lot of new followers with artistic creative inclination:  photographers, artists, marketers, etc.

Twitter:  IS NOT graphic friendly.  In the way of displaying the images more largely with their offending way of sidebars that they try to distract users from examining great innovation.

Twitter:  HAS NOT learned how the disruption of events, knowingly or accidentally become known:  Facebook lost a lot of users as repercussions unfold, still to this day.  

When these baby companies, they tend to ignore others' failures or business lessons.  It always looks from my vantage point:  they think they know it all.

As soon as someone thinks that they are an expert, it indicates to me that they've stopped learning.  That is the greatest disservice to the online world, real versus fake, data or cloud or privacy?

Google has remained true and strong.  If not always transparent:  the media didn't implode with imparting advice or criticism when they cancelled Google Plus G+ -- in my opinion the most visually friendly setting that allowed the artist to also write more about what they were imagining or how they came about creating that piece of art?  Maybe take your own advice, Jeannette?

I've said that a lot lately to my youngest.  AKA the daughter from hell when she was 14-15 and a gem now that she's 25.

My kids have become REALLY uncomfortable and vocal about me sharing their photo or naming them.

Another aspect of me and them changing simultaneously.  As we all age, build wisdom, we are influenced by life events - ones which we can control and those which we cannot.  Building understanding on which is which (and not be a Bitch about it).  That is for all of us.  

By treating each other with kindness but firstly empathy:  we can become compassionate towards each other.

I've seen my eldest daughter evolve beautifully:  being invited to their home to celebrate her dad's birthday was spellbinding:  seeing the complete family unit with a husband, a son, and the first grandson to her ailing father.  It makes me choke up.

TIDBIT:  If you want to have a real conversation with your Millennial daughter:  DON'T CHOKE UP with emotions or let the waterworks flow (proof:  her head will go down and thumbs scroll on her smartphone BEFORE she says quite strongly:  "If you cry, I will leave."

SINCE Wordpress and Twitter are being dicks, I will continue to grace their sites because there is good stuff there.

THE WISDOM I want to impart as this decade comes to a close:  get online to navigate and control your messaging as of NOW.  You can control what you post or like or share:  flex those mouse-muscles and get ready.

As always, I will continue to meandering about with my thoughts on here.  For the drunk friends and the sober ones, those battling afflictions or addictions, I'll be here.

All the best for the holidays of 2019 and continue with hope for the best in store for 2020!

Think about this quote I tweeted on https://twitter.com/postingfromedge :

#ThoughtOfTheDay "There is an expiry date for blaming your parents for steering you in the wrong direction. The moment you are old enough to take the wheel, the responsibility lies with you."~J.K. Rowling #inspirational @JKRowling >no identifiable @Twitter? art by moi (c)*^*jm

Know the rules of engagement if you are going to approach a CEO

Don't ASS-U-ME that the founder or CEO is a man.  More women are starting home-based startups and leading corporations because awareness is better that this an under-recognized issue.

Major accounts sales tip for selling to executives, particularly CEO

Sales to executives is a whole different kettle of fish:  THINK numbers if you're meeting/have audience with a CEO=Chief Executive Officer | Chairman of the Board + keep your meeting request including any PowerPoint presentations to 20 minutes with Q&A at the end = Practice practice practice doing your presentation in front of audience of colleagues who can constructively give feedback.  Even if you don't make it to Q&A you HAVE to ask PERMISSION to extend time allotment or reschedule to continue the conversation - that allows them the chance to absorb your initial presentation and come up with questions as it would apply to their company 

Always send a thank you note:  or two

1) Email recapping what you told them, any comments or feedback -- take a colleague or manager on the call (no more than one other for total of 2) to write notes and itemize NEXT ACTIONS by BOTH parties in the meeting (who agreed to do what) - reiterate what your next appointment will cover - ask for their input and edits or additions; 2) anyone else that may be needed to attend the meeting (i.e. Marketing Executive/Ops) to allow the CEO to get their input and evaluation extra set of eyes and ears and opportunity identifier.

2) send a handwritten card thank you note - it can be generic but better if you have cards printed with logo and your contact details - like a postcard or put in an envelope with a stamp and your own handwriting with Personal&Confidential on seal side.  Here, you make a social comment like - have a great vacation, day on the golf course, board meeting, union sit in - you get my point?

Before each meeting, you send an agenda beforehand, with time length beside it - to show that you are only going to take the 20 minutes allotted.  Ask for confirmation of agenda and whether they have anything to add, or people to add.  If they say they want to invite one of their executives, offer to send an email, coordinating event with the CEO copied in.  That is called leveraged selling in my book (don't know if there is such a term in sales?)

When you end the 2nd meeting with a more gelled action plan from both sides, again you follow up the meeting with notes, next steps, action owner, timeframe and again confirm the follow up timeline - 90 days on the third Friday in January, for example -- giving both parties plenty of time to gather needs or cultivate services or proposal with estimate, costs and timelines. Or topics that were tabled for the sake of time.

www.optioneerjm.com

Oh shit, damn f***

: I said when upon stepping from the last step going into the basement to my studio

a sensation of immediate cold feet with a very emotive sounding:

 * S Q U I S H *

24 hours later things are falling into place.

I rolled a joint and actually figured out how to use the Xbox controller ... there goes that theory my (our) generation had based on the sphere of influence seemed to be really resilient.  Not surprising our Millennial children seem very strong with all the shit going on around everyone.

There appears to be incredible parallels going on here.

The how lucky you speech similarities: 

What we heard: I had to walk two miles to school everyday after I had gotten up at dawn to collect the eggs, feed the chickens and milked the cows before I left to school even though there was a blizzard going on as I walked in three feet of snow (pre metric times) without complaining and being thankful even if my lunch was an apple.

My variation: I was up by 5 most days of the week, on the ice by 6 for 2 hours, standing out side the high school door waiting for my friends to arrive long before the bell.  Then after school I was either coaching figure skating or working at the small town newspaper, which a lot was used for contribution towards skating coaching, etc.

What I like to think is that the same principle remains hidden unless you think about it.

1) you make a commitment and give as much as you can

2) you make sacrifices in order to improve

3) respect the money and honour your choices

4) always have your own backup plan for the bumpy times

5) you have to work hard because you’re only fooling yourself to have high aspirations with little sweat

6) if you don’t give’er, you may end up stuck

7) you don’t argue or complain to parents when it ends up harder than it looks

There’s always a few more wise words of wisdom from my mom:

1) In a marriage, you give 150% effort but never take more than 50 percent responsibility because there is two people where it is split equally in half

2) Be smart with money or else you will end up as a bag lady << the warning my grandmother imparted to my mom.

3). Family is everything, means everything and the most important thing ahead of money, education, or position"

Millennial Mom Mutterings ....

Isn't life suppose to teach the parent a lesson so that they are able to head off their offspring to the same crumbling fait?

I say potatoe, you sound like potata.

I roll my eyes and you purse your lips, when you want to emphasize your point.

A very wise man (my father) often asked: "What's the payoff?"

With my dad, that was the clue  we were to shut up and really reflect on the question and be very sure from the curl in our toes before we would dare speak up!  Never mind answer the question.

Well, dad.  Rob was the pay off!

I never quite knew the answer when it came to Rob and you'd ask me those 12 or 13 years ago.  His daughter would be double the age now from when we first met.  Definitely, because of my dad, I had to have really opened my eyes into what I was getting myself into.

Fear:  that's natural,
so many would say ... even today
as a daughter embarks on a marriage
I hope her father will be asking her
from the beginning, these wise WISE
words:  

WHAT'S THE PAYOFF?

While I become weary of family dynamics that are far worse than I could imagine for myself now, nor anyone I know.

Try being the legally married spouse to a man whom I adore, and my one great love [that's the easy part].

Try that man's life probably saved because she was there, acted quickly upon by his spouse, in every form imaginable.  When speaking to the Chief Resident on the neurological team, who asked me to call him by his first name [ undisclosed to secure privacy ].  I was asking him a few questions, or many as I am oft to do, whether genetics, health of the patient or whatever is the main reason for Rob's remarkable recover?

Kind Chief Doctor Resident said that the quickness to reaction and the outstanding diagnosis of The South Campus, was likely a highly contributing factor to his amazing recovery.

What's the PAYOFF       in keeping me around?

For someone who is often considered arrogant or cocky, as you can imagine, the list may be very sparse.

To that I say:

I am not perfect
... it is not something i could promise now or even from our beginning

Sometimes I talk too much
... with only the kindest and heartfelt intensions

I don't like what you say
.... not because it is true is it?

If you like what I say
.... or do or buy or compliment anything and everything to do with you.

REMEMBER:  I like to keep my promises
...  which was a shortcoming of your father who just wanted to make you happy

If you asked your dad to take you to the moon, he would have
...  and that was one of his most redeeming qualities:  how he treated you!

Your dad wanted to give you a family
...  I was part of the package.  A mother figure is important to every girl's lives.

Perhaps by now you are stunned to discover there is no ranting or raving
.... why so?  Unless I feel beaten or put in my place?

The one important quality I share with you
... because I was once someone's "Daddy's Girl" who passed on 10 years ago

I lost my father, there is never an opportune time
... so maybe, just maybe, I can actually understand what you are going though.

EXCEPT, my father is gone ..... AND your father is healing.
... you know how he thinks you treat me, just be who that means.

words i try to live by

A MOM's BRAG BOOK of her four Millennial hipsters, happeners, hopesters

None of my kids read any of my blogs
so it is pretty near 100% guaranteed that it is true.  However, my one daughter told me that at least one of her friends reads this blog Out of the 6 or 7 blogs that I curate and/or I write about varying topics that interest me or developed or furthering knowledge on something that grabs me.

Having grown up conversations with a daughter is a new and wonderful experience.  How far we've both grown from a nervous wreck of a mother, tasked with an ailing son who needed additional care and attention while she was a bright shining star, oozing with talent from every pore.  

A mother's gift is sometimes recognizing the gift in her children.  Why else would Elvis Presley's mom have been the subject of his first recording?  A miracle talent nurtured and encouraged by a mother's love.  There are far too few examples shared in the world these days.  

SIDEBAR:  (I haven't done one of these for quite some time, ahem) ... what I'd like to find somewhere to read about or watch a written for TV series on Ivana Trump's influence on her daughter's beauty, grace, composed and elegant carriage.  There is a girl who was taught graciousness, humility and manners without a hint or trace of malice or arrogance, nor attesting to a special station in life.  

Then there is Prince William, agonizingly losing his mother (whom I often am outstandingly astonished at his gift of connecting with people of all ages, races, genders placing aside whatever other conceivable dividers there are and bridging gaps.  Leading by example.


**************

I came to blog here and discovered this had not been posted (above) so I went hunting for some photos or art that would convey the feeling, vibe and message of what I have written.

***************

Since I am not 100% myself, feeling anxious about the future with Rob, praying that there is a future no matter what the circumstances:  for better or worse vows of 11 years ago.  

Thoughts are floating and I'm not trying to stifle them.  Acceptance that downsizing to a bungalow would be practical.  Even comparing facilities/condos in Calgary and Edmonton for 55 + which I had really only come to realize.

Denial of sorts.  
It seems like any step in any direction that is not 100% tied to Rob's current condition, is stopped.  One day, one minute, one report at a time.

I may float other photos out that I may just be able to get away with under the radar from the kids.  Pick your moments, not your battles.  Allows a calmness that you may not think you possess.

Rebel nerds

Easter 2015

Nephew Shawn and son Kyle 

Adulting dinner out 

First selfie with youngest daughter 

Changing hairdos reflect changing attitudes.

Only Uncle & Only Nephew 

Understands values, is loyal and treats other kindly

BEST female Gamer ever! (HINT:  this is her gamer meme character)

Pretty as her picture, kindness at her core

A kind daughter, generous sister and supportive friend

A thinker

A doer

She is who she is (note comfy shoes and glasses on)

Romantic, happily married Newlyweds 

Living life face on

COMMENTS on the story: Virtue & Moir 2 play tribute 2 Gord Downey as a statement to Canada

The source of the HUFFPOST story: https://www.spot.im/s/00RMETHD2yGO

Oh heavenly devine angels to share an ode to Canadians so proud!

Thank you for this wonderful tribute

that shows our character as a nation

we stand together

one and all.

We unite together

across many divisive factors other geographies cannot comprehend

Being at peace with our neighbor,

reach out a hand if you feel it is needed.

The reaching hand of humanity, no divisive color or race or defining character

is allowed to belong

It is the faith of this one nation that seems to send a ray of hope

shining brightly from the inside

with pride [ not ego ] humanitarian peace and a kinder world

void of catastrophe or calamity or violence

With the unified strength and ability to reach out a hand to the world

as naturally as we've learned to live together.

In a peaceful, proud nation, of diverse peoples and bruised history

we will always stand together

when it is time to step up and say:

(NOT this country or that culture or some race)

ONE COUNTRY

Creating a future for our children and their children

to build upon the foundation of the strength

we've relied upon.

Not infallible, without human shame, and all other unimaginables

Yet that sense of optimism that joins us all

For all of US command!

xo Jeannette