Angels among us

I was offline for a few days.  Mostly because we had a wicked thunderstorm that took my internet and TV for a tailspin.  TV I don't mind.  You may as well cut my right hand off when it is the internet connection.

Funny how important being online becomes.  Call it an addiction or a very strong desire to be connected.  I'd like to think it is a little bit of both.

The other matter why I was distracted was because of a tragedy that struck my sister.  I've been known to give her a lot of credit for years because she has the patience of a saint and is truly an angel among us.  Both her and her husband.
 

As a bystander, sister, and family member, it has been amazing to watch how she could be a Foster Mom to special needs children and those nobody else would want to help.  I have to sadly admit that if I were to lend a hand for a child, I would be inclined to help a fully functioning one.  Not my big sis.  She reaches out as a Foster Mom, with her strong religious beliefs to give her strength and her genuine big heart, to help those children that fall into "the system" because of the shortcomings of their natural parents.  She has had kids envelope into her home that had moms that were prostitutes and abused.  She has opened her arms to those that have severe disabilities that are scratched off of anyone looking to adopt a child because they want a brand new baby, like a clean slate, to enter into their homes.  Not my sister.  She didn't debate or reflect on the impact, she just brought them in.

I always admired her and her husband's patience, love and strength to bring a child into their home that was not of their making but to make the most of the child.  It extended beyond them to their own three children who made it a part of their family and brought acceptance into their world.

Over the years there have been some sad situations these children were born to.  They were never sad to my sister or her husband, they were children that needed help.  They opened their arms, gave them their heart and absorbed their needs as their own.

We hear about Foster Parents.  Often it is shocking, rarely is it about the ones that are angels.  My sister is such an angel.  Gifted with children as others are talented building businesses, amassing money, or finding fortune.  She should be rich as a reward for what she has done for these many lost children from lost souls called parents. 

The "system" takes these kids from parents that cannot cope with them.  Whether it is because they have trouble with addictions, poor lifestyles, or simply unable to nurture the child that they brought into the world.  Thank heaven their are angels like my sister who reaches out to bring them into her arms and love them.  Unconditionally. 

Such was the good fortune of a young boy when he was four.  His mother had already four children by different fathers and she was only 24.  Social services decided that she was not fit for this boy and he was put out into the system.  Thankfully, my sister was there.

At four, he was unable to speak or communicate his needs nor accustomed to a loving home.  That changed when he walked into my sister's home.  He learned sign language and his frustrations were minimalized by just being able to express himself.  Eventually he could say a couple of words, only a couple, yet Ma-Ma and Da-Da meant the world.

He had a unique smile and it reached the soul of anyone he shone it on.  He had a goofy, fun personality that even my own kids grew to adore and accept.  Our family knew that a visit from my sister and her family was sure to include him.  It went without saying.

Lucky for me and my children, we learned from him.  Sure he did things that were different - from a boy with special needs.  Certainly, he had a contagious smile that allowed any of us to forget that.  He touched others in a way that extended beyond words.  He tested our boundaries on what is normal.   He taught  us acceptance.


This boy grew and grew.  He was perhaps bigger than many his same age, with a bigger heart than most.  Unfortunately, he started to have seizures.  Often unprovoked, unexpected and without cause.  This was distressing to my sister, but never faltered her love or commitment  to help this boy.

This past week, on the morning of Canada Day, July 1st, my sister was making blueberry pancakes, the boy's favorite.  Oddly, the smell didn't bring him to the kitchen so she asked her husband to go wake him up.  Sadly, he couldn't be woken up.  He had passed away during the night from a seizure.

My sister's heart is broken.  He was the love of her life and every new gesture, sign or smile showed promise.  It was never clear whether he was her angel or she was his.  What was to be was there were two angels among us.

White jeans shouldn't make you blue

My daughters are aged 20 to 24.  Shockingly,  I just learned that not one of them will ever "wear" white jeans, stating that white jeans just isn't their style.  Huh?  What?  Where did I go wrong?

Seriously, white skinny jeans are a must in any wardrobe regardless of body type, age or style sense.  They make the wearer appear cool, hip and classy all at once. 

There is a long standing tradition that says you pull out your whites (purses and shoes) on the May long weekend BUT they have to be put away at the end of summer after the Labor Day long weekend.

A funny way of taking this rule too far is capture in a light 1994 movie starring Kathleen Turner called "Serial Mom".  One thing that gets her riled up is when she sees people wearing white offseason:

I found a number of awesome looks that are highlighted by white jeans that are not only for summer like these  for fall or winter:



 

 

This is a beautifully put together with the soft hue of blue.  Great for an offsite meeting or event where "business casual" is called for.  Or simply shopping.  Take your pick:

 

 

What can make white jeans work is to match them up with  an eye catching scarf that pulls the look together. 

 

 

 

Skinny jeans can go with sandals or kid boots.  An awesome belt with white on white along with an arm of bracelets is breathless.  Here is a smooth  fashion statement that doesn't work too hard to impress while it does:

 

 

 

 

One of my own personal favorites is white with turquoise with killer accessories that make the look pop!  Here you can see that yellow is golden for a breezy cool summer statement:

 

I found a few turquoise accessories that will make the grade to bring pizazz to more subtle (or boring) looks:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Don't forget a longer necklace with a flowing blouse to spell easy-breezy coolness:

 

 

 



EYELASH flirtation

Lushest lashes are the bomb these days!  Very few of us have been oblivious to that fashion flirtation.  One can't help but notice how many endorsements Katy Perry has on eye lashes or mascara.

Most fellows would say that the first thing they notice in a woman is her eyes  (and they'd be lying ... unless their girlfriend, mother, sister or wife was within ear shot). 

The beauty empires play us on this to the max.  All the ads boast of thicker, longer, fuller lashes with their magical answer to the dilemma.  One can't help but notice that most natural long lashed humans always seem to be men! 

I tried a couple of times over the course of the past year or so to attempt to put fake lashes on.  They looked askew and more comical for Halloween than a fashion accessory. 

Huh?  Well, I was getting my nails done (as many of us do to keep that polished, well-cared for appearance) and the gal next to me had these beautiful lashes.  Unabashed, as women are naturally and more so when sitting next to another in a chair in any beautification establishment (beauty, hair, nail salon), I asked her where she had gotten her beautiful lashes from.  She told me.  I didn't go straight there by any means.

When I was on a trip to Mexico, I couldn't help but notice this young lady with fiancé in toe (and 20 years younger) with these beautiful lashes that seemed to stay put and come out splendidly after dunking her head under water.

Impulsively,  as I may fight against admitting to be,  I was driving home after doing some volunteer work at a University with young teens I noticed I was driving by the said beauty salon and without cutting off anyone, swerved into the parking lot and voila!  What was before me was lash extension heaven.

I didn't have to wait long without an appointment (fortunately for me) and I was laying down and having them applied.  It stung a bit when I opened my eyes a little too early and before permission granted.  Ooolala I was going to have red eyes to go with those new lashes.  I fell prey to an add on of having my brows dyed too.

I got all the instructions and to dos and not to dos when I left.  Unlike the practical side of my self, I hadn't done any research beforehand.  I obeyed and didn't put water on them for 12 hours, I used a Q-tip gently around them to clean, I didn't rub my eyes .... for a couple of days at least.  What I didn't know was that the glue would become crusty anyhow and when you wake up from sleep, it is pretty hard to be conscious of the reason why you want to rub your itchy lashes is not because of the Sandman but because of the lash extensions. 

Tenacious is as tenacious does.  I persevered.  Yet I couldn't help noticing that slowly single lashes were landing on my cheek and clumps started to go missing.  I dropped back in and dropped another $50 for a "fill" (original set cost $86).  The lady clucked at me that I wasn't Q-tipping them properly and did the filler up.

Less than two weeks later, I had clumps missing again and just basically gave up because I wasn't going to spend another dime on beautifying my now diminished lashes.   I tried a cover up of putting on fake lashes to cover up my mistake.  They didn't look any less ridiculous than the first time.


I longingly look at my Maybelline mascara and regret that I didn't stick to the basics.  I have not attempted mascara for a week after noticing that quite a few of my natural lashes went missing. 

To research and read up to help write this blog, I sought out other advice on lash extension tips.  This was a pretty good one from Huffington Post that talks about lash extensions. 

I may have given up on the eyelash extensions or fake applications ... for now at least.  However, I did want to write and share my motives and findings with others.  At least to open eyes wide at the possibility that sticking to what nature gave you is often the best advice. 

I am open-minded enough to realize that what is good for a 20 or 30 something is not necessarily good for someone older, even if she has been blessed with a nice eye color.  Being dissatisfied with oneself or being swayed by mood or fashion trends don't always work out.

You can still achieve a nice, classic, polished look without any magical products or expensive ones.  Be content with being who you are.  Remember, Katy Perry and even Adele make loads of cashola in music or endorsements so that they can afford to have a crew make sure they never have clumps of lashes fall out or look ridiculous in fake ones.

AND just because it didn't work out on my own attempt, doesn't mean it won't for others.  All I'm saying is it is an expensive experiment.

As an update July 25, 2015, I was wandering around the web and found an excellent non-obvious site for hints, tips and help .... the yellow pages.ca .... they had this article on eyelash extensions versus false eyelashes.  I wish I had discovered this before I started my eyelash mishap.  Note:  there are perfectly placed paid for ads on the page so that you can find a location close to you.  Brilliant: YES!  Obvious? NO
http://www.yellowpages.ca/tips/the-abcs-of-false-eyelashes-and-eyelash-extensions/

CASUAL casualties

As the world keeps evolving, our work environments keep changing with it.  What was once conventional wisdom in how we dress for our careers and the office has become skewed.  Unless you were in the backend of a business in delivery, manufacturing, production, construction, working in the field, you were expected to dress professionally -- that meant a suit and tie for gents and close-toed heels and conservative styles for women.

Dress codes is an HR nightmare relegated to the past for the most part.  Our stereotypical perception of salespeople, lawyers or executives come into the office with a suit on.

What was once "casual Friday" has become "casual everyday".  Now, it isn't so easy to tell.  Companies allow a relaxed approach to attire that communicates that they want to appear people oriented, open, inspiring, motivating. 

What started in software bull pens with dim lights, jeans with expressive t-shirts, has gone beyond.  With work-from-home footprints continuously growing.

I don't dislike the idea.  I've worked from home for years.  It helps create balance for individuals and lessens the burden on super Moms and Dads.

I do think it can go too far.  We emerged from a culture that our wardrobe spoke to the importance of our jobs, our career aspirations and corporate culture to tattered jeans, faded t-shirts and flip flops.

Women are judged more critically than men.  The good news is that you can create casual looks that promote your individuality without bending the boundaries on casual. 

Dress for the job you want, not the job you have is wise advice.  Putting together classy looks while maintaining professional demeanor can be accomplished with a creative imagination. 

Here are some of my own inspirations to help avoid crossing the casual line and becoming a casualty of not being taken seriously enough:

You can get away with shorts if you dress them up.  I gave two options on accessorizing.  Navy with silver jewelry or red with gold.  The  navy purse isn't a necessity because most tablet covers come with credit card pouches for ID and such.

Combining the right hues of gold, white and soft brown with nude beauty make up a look that portrays class and calmness.  Notice that I chose a bag that would compliment the lacey top.  I like layering vests over tops for comfort and style touch.  The makeup should be neutral and not over powering.  Put together, you exude confidence and calmness with the right blend of femininity.

 

 

Red expresses cheerfulness, for when you want to say you're got personality, flair and are optimistic with pizazz

Colored hair is fun for the club but not necessarily right for the office.  I love purple and used it to accentuate an eye popping beautiful look.

 

 

 

 

Want what you have

As I write this blog it evolves.  Primarily experimental or experiential, depending on my writing and who is reading it.  What I include are items that strike my fancy weighed by my mood or circumstances. 

Where we live and how we live are important to many of us.  Creating creature comforts and having the best life has to offer is a priority for many, a reality for the lucky and dreams for others. 

There are destructive emotions we should avoid for our daily health and wellbeing.  They are emotions that can deteriorate and replace a positive outlook outside of events or occurrence that impact us that we cannot control.  For example:

• Envy:  wanting what others have. 
• Jealousy: anger at what others want to possess.
• Resentment:  remorse for opportunities passing by.
• Bitterness:  unable to let bygones be bygones.
• Greed:  possessiveness without sharing.
• Pride:  giving importance to others opinions
• Arrogance:  smugness in accomplishments
• Superiority:  thinking one is better than others
• Vanity:  putting appearance before anything else
• Ego:  destructive self perception
• Emotional:  going from one mood extreme to another
• Conceit:  self absorbed promotion, better than others
• Cruel:  punishing other people or animals; heartless
• Pretentious: braggart, opinionated, loud, boastful
• Intolerant:  rigid boundaries that are limiting
• Prejudice: biased, narrow judgment, racism, stereotype
• Narcissism:  self-motivated by  the obstruction of others 
• Difficult:  demanding, narrow, unrelenting
• Selfish:  protecting opinion and possessions
• Defiant:  Going against the rules, radical, aggressive

There are so many better characteristics we should aspire to replace or offset the destructive ones:

• Humility:  putting others accomplishments ahead
• Modesty:  non bragging on achievements
• Forgiving:  allowing others wrongs to be undone
• Charitable:  giving of self or possessions
• Understanding:  open-minded, permitting others views
• Accepting: allowing other's differences
• Easy going:  flexible, liberal, adaptable
• Admirable:  looked up to by others, a positive example
• Generous: fruitfulness in actions and charitable giving
• Humanity:  putting others first, caring about people
• Philanthropic: using personal resources to gift others
• Positive:  outlook, attitude, viewpoint, example
• Balanced: composed, stable, adjusted, together
• Compliant:  obedience of rules, embrace guidance
• Inquisitiveness:  wanting to learn, accept new knowledge
• Calm:  steady, understanding negativity, even tempered

We're not perfect by any means.  That is why, I imagine, religion, godliness is what some of us aspire to grasp onto when our personal resources are depleted.   I'm not saying having beliefs in religion is a cop out.  What I am saying is having those beliefs gives us permission to look for a better approach to living and life.

We should be careful not to sway too far the other way.  There are some qualities, held in check, that can be good for us.  In many situations, we should have one stabilized with another. Being too far in one direction can hamper or restrict one's life, be harmful to our health, or increase our stress levels:

Shyness:  anxious,  introverted, fearful, withdrawn
Timid:  passive, non-assertive, quiet, silent,
Submissive:  giving up, allowing others control, avoidance
Silent:  Mute, noiseless, inaudible, still hushed,
Intimidated:  allowing others control, afraid, soundless
Victimized:  harmed, casualty, fatality, prey
Rigid:  steadfast to position, belief, opinion, immobile
Placid:  docile, unfeeling, cold
Stressed:  out of control, inability to meet needs, crowded

Ride along with me on this journey. 
Don't tackle everything at once.  If you have heard or sense what others perceive in you, good or bad, right or wrong.  Take one destructive point and take an opposing quality.  By doing so, we will move towards fulfillment, contentment and wellness. 

I thought of this blog when originally thinking to consolidate some of the items I promoted because they attracted my attentions and desires.  I've noticed how well blogs that promote other brands, products, fashions.  So, I included them.  Then I got to thinking that wanting things, looks, materialism can be destructive and how it is all about balance.  For example, if you want a vacation, you may still have obligations or financial restrictions that won't allow you to just book it.  However, having goals are fueled by those desires that drive you to want to reach those things, places, looks.

I think it is healthy to admire things without allowing envy to enter the equation.  That also allows us to give permission to share ideas and embrace others' ideas.  It can bring acceptance or dissatisfaction. 

How we handle it individually is what makes our world open to new possibilities.  Don't beat yourself up because you bond with something pleasing to your eye or opens up new ideas. 

Here are some images that appeal to me:

Big windows where light can seeps in.  Lots of seating for lots of friends and family to hang out at.  I love the soothing blend of the calm colors with the stone and woodwork.

 



 

 

 

Sometimes you just have to get out of the house to be in a peaceful, quaint setting.  I like meeting new people and it is often in a setting with coffee and big comfy chairs.  Sometimes it is just reading the newspaper, a magazine, enjoying a coffee someone else made.

 

 

Solitude is beneficial.  Being extroverted with history of a hectic household, demanding job, putting demands on myself, it is just nice to get away.  A walk on this path is not far off and within reach of me.  Being reminded is healthy.  Being afraid of bears and animals intruding on my wanders is a reality even if it is not necessarily a risk.

 



I won't get into the drama (this time at least) surrounding my vehicle saga.  I've had a Mini Cooper S and a Mercedes and driving a practical Hyundai Elantra right now.  This falls under the "wouldn't it be great to have" category.

This reminded me of when I did the design of my back deck, drawing it out by hand, this was very similar and included a hot tub.  I was a solo-mom at the time and considered all the factors of how practical one would be.  Visions of a bunch of little kids jumping in and splashing around interrupted my image of quietness, glass of wine, soft music.  I was already accustomed to adding another plate or three for dinner.  I wasn't prepared to share something like this.  Then the reality of daily maintenance and ongoing upkeep eliminated it from my list.



I am an admitted clothes horse.  I tend to plan what I am going to wear in advance.  I imagine gaps in colors, accessories and the like to give me an excuse to go shopping.

I am not a grab anything throw it on type of gal.  I do spend time visualizing my wardrobe, accessories, purses and shoes to put together an outfit for usually the next day.  Even if it is just hanging around the house or running errands.  That sounds extreme as I write this.  Well, we all have our perks and quirks.

I rediscovered Polymore because it appeals to that part of me that likes to imagine looks put together.  The challenge is finding things I already have that can successfully be used to achieve these looks.    
 
Ramping up for the Calgary Stampede which will be upon Calgary early July, my focus has circulated around fashion must haves and fashion looks to go hand in hand with the Country vibe for the summer.