we ARE stronger than we think #METOO #TIMESUP

A reflection....

Indeedly as the English are known to say :  

Ironic?  Yes I’d say.

If you follow my blog and social media blurts and visuals [ art € music videos € photography € learning € knowledge € history € geography € writing € events € stories orchestrated under one name: optioneerJM @optioneerjm +optioneerJM with a few spinoffs that can reflect my mood.

In the above image and a reflection.... I was ready to write about something, inspired to make a statement more often on meanderingsABOUT more closely linked to mostly family and a few friends.

I use iffttt to link among some worthy accounts that I find I would #RT (= reTweet on @Twitter - reshare £ repost £ comment.  One all time favourite @Mashable appears in my Twitter feed and can consistently count on being ❤️ ( symbol for liking something on Twitter and InstaGram ).  

: Sidebar

Both @Twitter 

& @InstaGram

use the numeric 

at “@“ symbol

Among the handful of loyal followers is my chief cheerleader: my Mom, Marie [ she may have lassoed my Godmother, Joanne to read it at least once ], they don’t necessarily participate on Social Media thus some of the sidebars give an explanation in my own words and interpretation.

I definitely had strong opinions on the #MeToo movement that materialized ... I just didn’t write.  I’ve been somewhat distracted by the army of therapists up to three times Monday to Friday guiding my hubby’s recovery from home base.  That and getting caught up on my own medical and dental appointments that strikes more frequently after you pass fifty. [ Not to mention how expensive living in the metropolis of Calgary aka “Cowtown” is.  

: sidebar

Calgary is the Canadian capital city

of oil & gas corporate headquarters.

Also, home to the controversial 

TransCanada Pipelines 

(overseer of Keystone Pipeline)

Price at the pump

$1.34/Litre 

Where unemployment has struck so many families, our arrogant city representatives vote to spend more money on pitching to host a future Olympics and handing out tax payer dollars to nonCalgarians, more often not even Canadians, for structures rammed down our throats ... both examples of that home town, hospitable host reputation completely eroded under the leadership of self-interest and leveraged attention deflected towards the one self.

Ironic isn’t it that it would be a year ago as a wake up call that things were a changing in so many ways that 50 something somehow survive to only be challenged perseverance and strength.

I can definitely say that I have rarely stay quiet over bad manners.  Except I redirect to be when I have something helpful ¥ constructive ¥ knowledgeability ¥ positive ¥ informative things to say.

I must have taken a deep breath and a step back which is often how I cope with negativity.

FEMINISM: The word of the year [SOURCE: Merriam-Webster]

Merriam-Webster

Original art by:  Jeannette Marshall
@optioneerJM
(C) Copyrighted

The year of feminism. Well. Wouldn't ya know?

The only beef I have with that is:  every year should be a year where feminism moves forward in giving women the same rights as anyone else.

I speak of which I know.
Hitting my 50s wasn't really so bad.  I had 4 great children all making their way in life.  One now off to university, another one married, one with a sparkle in her eye, and another one battling demons [ REF:  gaming].

Rob and I had a conversation about this the other day.  It was after we returned home from having dinner with our besties couple friends.  It was to celebrate Rob's birthday.  He made a statement that they had a big hill to climb ahead.  Looking back, he was reflecting on experience.  That one minute, you're tripping over kids or kids friends or kids stuff, nonstop nagging 

What he said was true though:  the next minute they're off and growing up or have grown up, with lives of their own.  Their own responsibilities (either significant other or career climb), overshadowing the wants or needs of elder parents.  Yes, we're aging, but we're still in our 50s, considered young in the aging age bracket.  

It's profound.  It's quiet.  [Except when Rob is gaming online with some of the kids].  Sometimes I remember to put my music on to drown out his banter that is one-sided.  Not in the least curious what the other parties are saying in the least.  I've had to grow to be balanced with curiosity.

I've always been an exuberant gal.  Ready with a question, so that I can pick up the minuet details of information and audibly digest it by saying it out loud.  That is a really big misconception, by the way:  people who talk a lot are scattered, indecisive, annoyingly vocal, opinionated and sometimes critical.  

Except if you delve deeper into the logic, demystification surfaces.  We've often heard that some people are visual, visual learners, etc.  What is rarely spoken is that there are others who are auditory.  Meaning that in order to absorb information, they need to say it aloud in order for it to be absorbed.  Alterna- tively, visually oriented appeal to imagery, videos, graphics, art.  

I suppose just words are fine if you are auditory.  One doesn't have to read out loud to comprehend what they are reading.  That is off the track.

We live in a world of supposition.
We make assumptions, jump to conclusions more now than ever before.  By now, the flash of information and visuals is so rapid and fleeting, we don't even realize or recognize what information we're being fed, factual or false.

Feminism is about opinions
That is my take at any rate.   An outspoken, opinionated, egotistical male is considered aggressively pursuing a space rocket trajectory into the stratosphere.  A woman with such attributes is considered aggressive and a bitch.

Three degrees of interpretation
Having three daughters the ages of 23, 25[next month] and 27[2 months].  I've decided to stop identifying which one is my stepdaughter, inherited by marriage because she's been part of my family for 13 years, with a husband I've known for 13 years, who was born on the 13th and I married on the 13th [scoffing at fate and bad-luck tales].

Each girl has branched out into different areas

One is pursuing the arts in university, the other on a carpet ride in project management and the other torn between the legal mill or the pursuit of an education.  The main point, really, being that they each took different paths that reflect their different views on life, education, work, relationships and what they want out of it.

Only one is a steadfast feminist
She is vocal, she is a champion for the underdog and she is learning her voice.  The feminism of the millennials is quite different that the first feminist whom one has heard about starting in the 60s, making leaps in the 80s, and protests and speeches abound, fighting for equal rights for women.

There is a long, long way to go.
Like the example I was trying to give on learning or communication styles, we make assumptions and we allow stereotypical thinking of our own.  

Wishing you a merry and marvelous holiday season to you and yours

xo Jeannette
@optioneerJM
(c) Copyright unless written permission granted

A double standard ?

The New York Times (credit)

I tend to skim across The New York Times stories that both the publishers and Google place upon my path as a customized choice of reading.  As I've meandered before, the more I click, scroll and share (retweet, share, like, comment, post, pin ...... ) the more juice I give Google and now it appears articles that are more likely to entice me to click, read more.  Very few insight me to want to comment and go even farther by blogging around it.  

Today, I did such a thing and clicked on this article tossed onto my path.  They wouldn't know that I was just hopping on for a quick look at something, and only spend five minutes at most.  

Most likely, family dynamics is top of mind with the wedding of my stepdaughter last weekend.  We talk about blended families, as if it is normal or not unusual, but until you are in the throws of unique coincidence that everything does pan out without less drama than the movie makers, writers or media want to let on.  We can have a huge event with everyone on their best behaviour and manners prevail.  What one would think should give comedic plots can actually be drama free and calm.  People relaxed, wary of the "others" but committed to keep the affair congenial so that the bride and groom are able to have a memorable occasions.

It is kinda nice that the drama is left to the screenwriters and authors to drum up in escaping for a the relief of comedy, spelled by belly jiggling laughter, and enrapture by dramatic tragedies and dysfunction of those on the screen or on the page (or screen).  

This article by The New York Times bid my read merely by its headline:  "Why Men Want to Marry Melanias and raise daughters like Ivanka".  It is an excellent read.  It is thought provoking and at its center distinguishes the traditional values so many are debating these days with all the violence and the public displays because of politics reinforced daily, if not hourly, or more, is bringing to the forefront the difference in values.  What I liked especially is how divorce, second marriages and blended families measure up with long-held marriage, defined in years, still with only one single child to be concerned with are so different.

What is the difference between a philandering man and a woman who lets her man get away with philandering I ask?  It's pretty hard to pick sides isn't it?  One isn't better than the other.

One showcases that despite the shortcomings of the parents, or father's infidelity can the kids, as byproducts, still end up firmly grounded, successful and looked up to by peers, elders alike.  I like to think my own kids demonstrate that they can actually end up as survivors and strong in their convictions and firmly planted and aligned to their own desires and goals.  It's like showing others that even if the parents' vows have been broken, the children were made and raised with love, understanding and support.

The article does have a very  interesting perspective to me personally.  I wonder how many of my followers agree?  Whether female or male, weigh in your thoughts please:  are you pro traditional values in your own home and marriages and pro climb and achievements for your daughter or daughters?  

I could blog on and on about this heavy topic that is being played out dramatically by the differences in the two campaigns:  Clinton versus Trump.  I start to meander as to whether Americans may vote according to values rather than any political rhetoric.  From the sounds of this article, Americans (Republicans or Democrats or Independents) forgive Trump's past digressions because of the great job he's done with having such awe inspiring offspring.  I'd hazard a guess, without any profound research undertaken, that children of a first marriage fair much better than the 2nd or 3rd marriages.  Tiffany Trump was merely okay comparatively speaking.  If she were a character in a book or screenplay she'd be the rebellious one who acts out her own insecurities by being louder, out there, fast lifestyle and notoriety born from being overshadowed by siblings and even parents that are amounting to some pretty hefty reputations.  To avoid pity, they take on a rock star lifestyle (that the media portrays, but not the real true lifestyle that I believe most rockstars lead:  normal, peaceful, loving lives and home that is achieved after a lot of roller coaster rides and growing up).

This article got me thinking and took a life of its own.  I wonder what others' perception of the article's accuracy is.  

No doubt, our world is evolving and our principles and values take a bumpy ride at times, for sure.

Best lessons you've never heard as quotes

Emma Stone

"Whatever you may look like,

marry a man your own age

~ as your beauty fades,

so will his eyesight."

~Phyllis Diller

Angelie Jollie

"You may be gorgeous
at thirty, charming at forty,
and irresistible for the rest
of your life."

~ Coco Chanel

Heidi Klum as Jessica Rabbit, Halloween 2015

"I'm not bad.

I'm just drawn 

that way."

~Jessica Rabbit

Jennifer Aniston

"When you think you're not
happy with your life,
always think that 
someone is happy simply 
because you exist."

~Lei Lockhear

Demi Moore, 2015

"I prefer to be a

beautiful woman

of my age than

try desperately

to look 30."

~Demi Moore

Joan Crawford

"I never go outside unless

I look like Joan Crawford

the movie star. If you want

to see the girl next door,

go next door."

~Joan Crawford

Taylor Swift

"If you're trying too hard

to be the girl next door,

you're not going to be."

~Taylor Swift