Tuesday, August 25, 2015

Check your ego at the door


"Show me someone without an ego, and I'll show you a loser."                                                                                       ~Donald Trump

Oh go blow it out your ear Donald Trump!  My gosh, soon we'll be looking up "ego" in the dictionary and it will show it is synonymous with Donald Trump.   But ... you gotta admit, it works for him.

We can all think of people in our daily lives who should scale back on their ego and show some humility for a change.  However, we tend to admire those same people, forgiving their confidence. What really is the difference between the two?




We talk about balance.  We idolize Ghandi, Mother Theresa, and the Dalai Lama.  I'm happy for that. For while we admire the courage and tenacity of many of our fellowship we tend to tune out their egotisti-cal rants don't we?  Wouldn't we rather be considered to be more like Ghandi or Mother Theresa, giving of ourselves, wisdom and insights to benefit all of humanity?

Social media or internet is certainly not the place where humility resides.  Take a spin through Twitter or Facebook or even a blog and you will read "me or I" far more times than "we or us".


What a complicated world we live in today.  We admire those with the biggest egos, considering it as strength and we take pity on those who fade in the background, overtaken by the mighty.





If anything, take a chapter from our lives and rewrite it.  We can work on our humility and be more caring of others.  That would bring us to the closest thing to true happiness than anything.

We think the world expects us to be strong, confident, self-assured then it throws curveballs at us that make us want to shrivel up and hide.  Why is it that the nicest people are not who come to mind whenever we think of heroes or idols?


Living a life surrounded by those others' egos will only make us feel more disappointed in ourselves.   You must realize that you have the ability to make a change.  You can tune out those people, avoid hanging out with them, avoid listening to their music, their talks, their preaching.
 




Many people have religion to find their inner peace.  Then they go on about their lives listening or hanging out with those pillars we admire.  Break that habit and you will slow down that turmoil that churns within.  You are perfectly fine in who you are.  You are nice, people like you, and you are always reaching out a hand.  It is the ego that asks you why don't people appreciate that quality or acknowledge how meaningful you are.

We take nice people for granted and we look up to those who are always reminding us how great they are.  We are shocked when we find out someone we admire was really warped or severely depressed.  How can we not have known?  It's quite simple.  We're wired to listen to people talk about themselves, their achievements, their money, their power, their glory.  

We avoid those that don't make us feel good about ourselves.  Or, at least we should.  We may, in principle, even take solid steps in doing things and being around people who make us feel good about ourselves.  Those are the people that don't make us feel like we've fallen short, or that we should feel honored by their attention. 


The egotistical don't give us friendship. Heck, we are their fan club.  We bolster their image with our devotion, asking little in return.  Our faces turn upwards and they sense the admiration.  We are to blame for fueling that image.

How can we combat the need to have idols or those to worship?  Knowledge.  If we feed our brains with good nutrition, we will have little thoughts that can strike us down.

So what if you're not tall, or handsome, slim or good in sports.  Everyone and I mean E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E has something that they are good at.  Swipe aside those meaningless people or time wasters that deteriorate confidence, and promise yourself to find your true passion. 



“If you are humble
nothing will touch you,
neither praise nor disgrace
because you know
what you are
~Mother Teresa


Silence those thoughts that jump out to alert you to life's shortcomings and instead fill yourself with views more meaningful. 

Some of the most desperate, depressed geniuses in our time were mere humans who expressed themselves creatively. Think about Ernest Hemingway.  He had a profound impact on literature and jump to knowing he was manic depressive.  How many know that one of his first jobs was an ambulance driver in the first world war?  He left behind his legacy of writing that most likely evolved from his many disappointments of 4 marriages.  It was from multiple plane crashes in Africa, he sustained chronic pain for the rest of his life.

What about Van Gogh?
There are a few things you probably didn't know about Vincent Van Gogh.  He was a serious, silent and thoughtful child.  At one time, he worked as an unpaid supply teacher in a small boarding school.  He wasn't so lucky in relationships.  In fact, he had a domestic arrangement with an alcoholic prostitute. He had a difficult relationship with his religious father and didn't quite measure up to his expectations. Van Gogh was also ill from drink and suffered a smoker's cough. The events that led him to slice off his ear are legend and the stories many.  Sadly, after years of anxiety and frequent bouts of mental illness, he died aged 37 from a self-inflicted gunshot wound.

Wowzers eh?  Here we have a couple of the greatest creative geniuses and we find out that they had  miserable lives.  Sound familiar? 




You don't have to be down in the dumps before real gifts can emerge.  By contrast, we don't have to look far to read or see some reference to Steve Jobs, considered one of our generations, and perhaps history will agree, gift visionaries.  By all accounts, he had a normal, solid upbringing with two loving parents who encouraged his intelligence.   Jobs was no saint by any means.  This is the same man who stole the computer mouse idea from Xerox.  He was as well known by his body odor as he was by his temper.  How many founders can say that they were fired from their own companies they created?  Maybe it was  bad karma for stealing the most of the spotlight from Apple Computer and his co-founder Steve Wozniak 

These examples are written to emphasize that no matter how great someone seems, they may be masters at something, but often less so in their personal lives.  


I don't want to leave the impression that in order to be great, you have to have a little bit of craziness.  What I want to emphasize is that those heroes were mere mortals, with demons and shortcomings.  You are ahead of the game.




Tree Blowing In The Wind by Janell R Colburn

Promise yourself to let go of what is past, as though floating behind the winds of change.  Carve out what matters to you and seek to study it and define your own niche.  

The beauty of this world, is that you can basically grasp so many opportunities.  Take the word "but" out of your vocabulary and don't replace it with "however" either (like me).  Be equally careful with "yet" "nonetheless" or "still".  They are show stoppers.  They are your signal that you are going to say or think something negative.


Get a "Dream Journal". 

Cut and paste the best quotes, inspirations that resonate with you and tack them in there.  Create only one rule:  you only write or keep things that are positive.  Focus on the good and write it down.  You don't have to tell anyone about it.  You don't want to turn it into a brag book either.  We're not talking about a closet ego.  Just finding peace in the now, looking for the things that make you excited by the endless possibilities.  

Doodle, color, or sketch in it if that floats your boat.  This is not a place where ego resides.  You cannot keep regrets, dwell on bitterness, or whine about what could have been -- remember those things floated away in the past by winds of change.


One step at a time, one day at a time.  You have just decided that Ernest can keep his legacy, Van Gogh can stay in museums.  Because you are going to be somebody you decide you want and will be.





e·go·tis·ti·cal
ˌēɡəˈtistək(ə)l/
adjective
  1. excessively conceited or absorbed in oneself; self-centered.
    "he's selfish, egotistical, and arrogant"
    synonyms:self-centeredselfishegocentric, egomaniacal,self-interestedself-seeking, self-absorbed,narcissisticvainconceited, self-important;
    "His/her egotistic lifestyle has alienated many people over the years"






















Monday, August 24, 2015

A balancing act

Today was a wonderful day.  Yes the weather was fab, it was Sunday, everywhere I went everyone was in a good mood.  Why wouldn't they?  Perhaps there are people out there that don't bow to their God by going to church, or do chores instead of spending dinner with family, or simply don't know how to look a gift horse in the mouth?

Definitely, some days are like pushing water uphill.  I love that saying as it communicates overcoming insurmountable odds, or despair by one's choices or who they surround themselves by.  

Today I was on holidays.  Who isn't on holidays on a Sunday, many would say.  Yet, I truly am on holidays.  You see, I work a lot of Sundays during the day and it is less likely to be off on a Sunday if I was not on a holiday.



Probably there were many times I took Sunday for granted.  Stayed in bed too long, nursed a hangover or bowed to her Royal Laziness.  Today, I spent it with my daughter.  Two minutes from where I live, I'm on a highway out into the country.  

Big deal?  Well, absolutely.  Because, you see, people from all around the world come to my corner to see cowboys, mountains, fresh air, hike, fish or just take in the surroundings I can see in meir minutes.

It amplifies how little one has to complain about.  Sure, I'd always wanted a country mansion or a tropical paradise called my own.  But today, I just sucked in the air, looked at the beauty around me and really thought:  yeh, this is what striving for a balanced life is all about.

My husband had a buddy over working on his car.  My daughter came with me to just go where our travels would take us, with no agenda other than hang out.  The bills are paid, I'm on holidays.

I'm not in the midst of jet lag at a destination that I spent a few brain cells deciding where to go, what to pack, what time to make it to the airport, would the accommodations be suitable, the resort top notch and whether they have a pool bar.  No list beckons me, as per my usual fair.  I'm on holidays, I don't have to have a list or a plan.




I've balanced my act.  I'm not whining about what I don't have, or taking stock of what I should have had.  I am content to absorb and enjoy the fortune I do have.  We drove down the beautiful highway, passing by and sometimes passed by many a folk out driving motorcycles, refurbished hot rods, or speeding convertibles.

What mattered was who was beside me.  My daughter.  I got it.  There have been times when she'd make me want to pull my hair out, be quieter or be more serious.  Well, she'd been doing way too much and being way too serious.  It was mom and daughter therapy.  Whenever I get the slightest inclination where my jaw starts to open with a jolt from the brain to complain, I have to think of her.

Yes, I certainly did get to figure skate most of my growing up and that took commit-ment, but she fits in her love of soccer while working three jobs, getting ready to return to her second year of university.  I didn't have to work that many jobs.  I didn't drive a $600 car.  In fact, I didn't drive a car at all.  I had to rely on charm to hitch a ride or suck it up and take transit.  

Heck, I didn't have a car to hear a funny knock or a shimmying start until after I got married.  Nor did I have a smartphone to look up what that noise could mean.  Now, I have a husband who was going to lift the hood to check on her theories while we took off on our own.

We drove into this tiny little town and our first stop was a thrift shop.  Now, we're not talking about a big charity almost department store.  It was an honest to goodness cash only (leave your city attitude behind) and elderly lovely couple with a cat who supervised the shop.  I bought another purse I didn't need and a pair of tan shorts that are at least two sizes too big.

Next stop appealed to the yearn of our appetites responding to the fresh, country, carefree air we found ourselves in.  An all day diner that every couple or group that sat down were told by their friendly, cheerful staff that they could have breakfast or dinner.  We sat at the counter and got to watch slices of pies march in front of our eyes.  It was an easy choice to split our grilled chicken sandwich, smothered in a secret home made sauce with the greenest lettuce and reddest tomatoes fit for a food commercial.  

Yes, we shared a piece of pie ... even though my daughter said she was "good" as is her way of politely saying "no" while still sharing a good half of the "Hawaiian Pie" ... I must be getting old because I lifted my fork and looked at the light airy flakey crust, melting between a combination pudding, pineapples bits topped with whip cream.  We walked out pleasantly satiated without being stuffed.

We headed home, stopping in a few more boutiques along the way, without pulling out a wallet.  The younger version of me kicked in when I thought I may be ahead of the game after spotting a dress that would be perfect for my stepdaughter's wedding next year.

My daughter ventured back out when we got home to join up with her friends, one of which was going on to Toronto to continue her law degree.  Huh, thinking about it now, a little has rubbed off.  Perhaps she now knows and believes, that your life is your own balancing act.  It throws curveballs at you sometimes, but if you uphold quality friendships and relationships you have plenty who will let you lean on them.



I was content to spend the evening with my husband, where we both were satisfied with our day.  He may have got more done with the work on his buddy's car and checking my daughter's.  But the dividends of spending the day with my daughter and having him to come home to does remind me that for all the years of striving to balance my life, it has actually hit a rhythm that is wonderful.



Sunday, August 16, 2015

7 reasons to love "The Hundred Foot Journey"

I'm flabbergasted.  I'm wheeling in the blown away zone after watching the best film I have seen in years:  "The Hundred Foot Journey" #thehundredfootjourney a hashtag to go wild if I had my way.

This wonderfully crafted story  unfolds when  two worlds collide and they get .. ummm ... ahhhh.... how do you say it? Spicey!

I was profoundly touched by the hidden messages in the tale that shines a brilliant light on how we have biases and racism not by our own hand, but by the world we grow up in.  

The story demonstrates how we can have set prejudices without really knowing it.  Regardless of which side of the story you find yourself leaning towards, it reflects a new world identification system.  It surrounds us daily subconsciously. 

We humans are so caught up in class system that is so far submersed, we do it automatically while its origins was carved in the world of India.

From afar, the rest of us collectively exude a  behavior we identify with when we think of this unique culture :
  • thriftiness (aka cheap)
  • bargains
  • traditions
  • family dynamics
  • religion
  • Bollywood
Rarely would a European or North American Caucasion  person identify India descendents to be:
  • genius minds
  • food master chefs
  • sex symbols
  • musical marvels
  • creative icons
Regardless of whether you can associate with the origin or excellence from either side, The Hundred Foot Journey shatters all perceptions.  From the fireworks emerges a tale  of a triumphant jubilee for viewers.

Yes, I reckon that the explosive creative pinacle is based on the latest hip theme of Foodie.  Toss out your prejudices and disperse your preconceptions and absorb the splendor of  entertainment at the finest.

Similar to the food world's Michelin stars, movie goers should revolt if the movie doesn't win an Oscar for best film.  This sleeper hit evolved from gifted storytelling in Richard Morais' 2011 novel with the brilliant adaptation of Steven Knight and talented cinematography interpreted by Lass Hallstrom.  An art film or society statement, take your choice. 

Allow me introduce you to a movie you will want to see by sharing the official trailer searched for and found on my trusted source for video You Tube.  


It has a good old fashion feel with a really great vibe.  It dislodges us and allows us to escape from all our worry about the environment, our careers, our family, our finances, our society, violence, government, our economy, our health, our peace of mind, our paranoias forgotten while enveloped into this wonderful journey.

From left:  Helen Miran, Manish Dayal and Charlotte Le Bon

It is led by the magnificent cast of the well known (Helen Miran aka from The Queen), getting to known Om Puri  and the unknown soon to be very well known (Manish Dayal now of InstaGRAM fame and French Canadian 

Charlotte Le Bon).  The magnificent characters 

 introduced to us by really really big knowns 

 (looks like Steven Spielberg and sounds like 

 Oprah Winfrey). Now those are really big WIGs!


From left:  Oprah Winfrey, Helen Miran and Steven Spielberg
Sit back and take in this celebration of cinematic roots with your loved one or loved ones.  It will move you back to carefree times and family antics that drive us crazy, we survive, and great recollections to draw poignant memories from.

If you are still not convinced that you should jump on NetFlix or bring out the wallet on iTunes, let me tell you why it's a favorite:
  1. There is an underdog who emerges as a champion for us to cheer on.
  2. There is watching the development of relationships from family, to love interest, to companionship, friendship or rivalry.
  3. There is that steal-the-movie supporting-actor who reminds us fondly of a crazy but lovable father or uncle.
  4. There is a love story between a Princess (of cuisine) and her knight in shining armour (blazing with Michelin stars no less). 
  5. Where the rich and sometimes not always famous frolick together in harmony by joining in heavenly cuisine -- where foodies relate to.
  6. It yields to the yearn of its target audience: Baby Boomers, Families, Dates, Girls Night Out, Pajama Party, Movie Fanatics or a Sunday Night movie.
  7. Where market and audience celebrate the unique message and widespread appeal.
From left, Manish Dayal, Helen Miran


Join me, together with @optioneerJM, to spread the word on Twitter, Facebook, Google Plus, InstaGram, Tumblr and Pinterest so others can share the pleasant gold old fashion experience. Show your support and belief that peace can be amongst us and we can actually enjoy our own uniqueness in culture, religion or region and embrace those wonders.

I promise you, it will capture your spirit and inspire you to believe that war is as big as a war becomes.  Yet, with understanding, cohesiveness, togetherness, humanity, and belief in the impossible we gather the spell that this tale puts us under.



Did I forget to mention that this magical experience was made possible because of Dreamworks Pictures that its fore founder would be proud of, Walt Disney (1901-1966): 

     All our dreams can come true, if we have the courage to pursue them.

          It's kind of fun to do the impossible.
                 The way to get started is to quit talking and begin doing.


Tuesday, August 4, 2015

WE are the WORLD





Incredible share by NASA on latest PIC of #earth.  So breathtaking .... man oh man, isn't it so beautiful?

Which means we're all neighbors.  Absolutely.  Certainly, because we share this vast globe of greenness: trees, shrubs, flowers, vegetables, fruit, jungles and water: oceans, seas, lakes, rivers, along with mountains made of greatness like Mt. Everest.   

How humble we should feel by the responsibility of this magnitude.  We cannot dwell on our enemies, decease, poverty, climate until it is one gigantic undertaking by ALL people of this world.  She is our home and we often neglect her, so focus on our agenda are we.

We know we host evil and want to abolish it, yet nothing is as important as humanity.  Humanity cannot survive without earth.  Then why do we band together as ONE community under the executives of the universe -- the Sun and the Moon.   Heed the vote to survive.  Listen to the scientists observations.  Watch the educators knowledge. 

Who are we to scoff at what they have been telling us?  Don't we remember that song: "We ARE the WORLD"?  It was a sign of an anthem to be sung.  Not for one color, one culture, one religion, one leader, one information outlet, one idol, one animal, one organism, one food.  For it is this world we live together.  As one.  For eternity. 

Are we abandoning that dream to live in love, health, safety, nutrition, education, religion?  Without this earth.  We are the same:  nothing.  Whether by evaporation, extinction, violence, abandon, or death.  What we are hearing is we cannot go on any longer, never mind much longer, on this path we march jointly.

With deference to our board: the sun and the moon and our people.   Why will we miss that meeting?  Yes perhaps because we have our own agenda, to the exclusion of survival.  It is our world. 

It is our responsibility.  Not one single person alone, but all of us together for one cause:  life.


We are the world


charity single originally recorded by
 the supergroup USA for Africa in 1985. It was written by Michael Jackson and Lionel Richie, and produced by Quincy Jones and Michael Omartian for the album We Are the World. With sales in excess of 20 million copies, it is one of the fewer than 30 all-time singles to have sold at least 10 million copies worldwide.
Following Band Aid's "Do They Know It's Christmas?" project in the UK, an idea for the creation of an American benefit single for African famine relief came from activist Harry Belafonte, who, along with fundraiser Ken Kragen, was instrumental in bringing the vision to reality. Several musicians were contacted by the pair, before Jackson and Richie were assigned the task of writing the song. The duo completed the writing of "We Are the World" one night before the song's first recording session, on January 21, 1985. The historic event brought together some of the most famous artists in the music industry at the time.
The song was released on March 7, 1985, as the only single from the album. A worldwide commercial success, it topped music charts throughout the world and became the fastest-selling American pop single in history. The first ever single to be certified multi-platinum, "We Are the World" received a Quadruple Platinum certification by the Recording Industry Association of America. However, the song garnered mixed reviews from journalists, music critics, and the public. Fans enjoyed hearing racially and musically diverse recording artists singing together on one track, and felt satisfied in buying "We Are the World", knowing that the money was going to charity. Other individuals, including many commentators in the rock press, were disappointed that the song did not challenge listeners as to why famines occur in the first place, and felt that the lyrics were self-aggrandizing.
Awarded numerous honors—including three Grammy Awards, one American Music Award, and a People's Choice Award—the song was promoted with a critically received music video, a home video, a special edition magazine, a simulcast, and several books, posters, and shirts. The promotion and merchandise aided the success of "We Are the World" and raised over $63 million for humanitarian aid in Africa and the US.
Following the devastation caused by the magnitude 7.0 Mw earthquake in Haiti on January 12, 2010, a remake of the song by another all-star cast of singers was recorded on February 1, 2010. Entitled "We Are the World 25 for Haiti", it was released as a single on February 12, 2010, and proceeds from the record aided survivors in the impoverished country.

Monday, August 3, 2015

Beauty tip: take care of the soul

I've been writing so far of some of my philosophical leanings and fashion tips for cowgirls, along with a few faux pas nightmares.  I thought it was time to take it up a notch and share some of my beauty favorites.

Firstly, I look up to both my mother and my former mother-in-law to share their secrets to eternal beauty:  one is 80 and the other is 90!  Neither one wears makeup per se, although my mother is a fan of foundation and hair styling that suits her style, lifestyle, and personality.

What both of them do, day in, and day out are simple basics we've been told for years:


  • wash your face at least twice a day:  morning and before bed
  • no gimics or expensive products in their cabinets
  • both have been using "Oil of Olay" as their must do daily
  • take care of your soul:  spirituality, church, beliefs 
  • an alcoholic beverage is what you have one of when you socialize
  • commitment to their husbands for 50 years in sickness and in health
  • biggest fans of their children, grandchildren with pride, love, support
Sounds elementary to me too.  Yet we all get caught up at the drugstore or department store beauty counter, buying up magical potions and fixer uppers.  

The one thing I do share with my younger counterparts in the 20, 30 and 40 age group is acne.  Yeppers, I thought that that ended with wrinkles or the very least menopause.  However, stress, turmoil, inner satisfaction with one's life does exude through our pores.

No wonder they say that a women who is pregnant is incredibly beautiful!  They are sticking to the natural like white on rice.   They abstain from any toxins like their body is a temple.  Factoring in they are directly responsible for the formation of that beautiful being growing inside them.  Alcohol, hell no!  Smoking, you gotta be kidding me!  

Accounting for what you put in your body is part of your beauty regime.  Drink lots of water, stay away from soda pop most of the time, eat fruits, vegetables and a salad with every meal.  

I found a few wonderful discoveries to battle the skin wars -- easily found in drug stores, pharmacies and even grocery stores:

Founder of Burt's Bees

This natural spot treatment is clinically proven to help reduce and improve the appearance of blemishes without irritating skin. Formulated with Tea Tree, Calendula, Yarrow and Parsley Extracts to help care for troubled skin and reduce redness and Borage Extract to promot healthy skin resulting in clean and smooth skin, naturally. Dermatologist tested. Noncomedogenic.


I put this on after my nightly washing, moisturizing on the spots that are breaking out.  It is categorized under "sensitive skin" which I can relate to.

Another wonder find is a toner that we can find even in nutrition and vitamin stores with the regulars:  witch hazel ... one that everyone can afford!  Use it as a toner after you wash, bathe or shower.

I will continue to uncover beauty secrets of the pros and the should-be-pros for all to benefit from.  If you have your own ideas, secrets, and/or tips ... let me know!