Showing posts with label wellness. Show all posts
Showing posts with label wellness. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Speak up or shut up?

You can't help but read about Jian Ghomeshi from Canada.  There is a lot of news surrounding one of our media types named who has plead innocence to numerous allegations of sexual harassment. 

Does speaking up harm your reputation?
It got me to wondering about the women who spoke up.  There is certainly safety in numbers ... being made easier when it wasn't just one whistle blower but several.

Is lodging an official complaint a detriment to your career?  I would imagine that being the first one brave enough to come forward was the trickiest.  Putting oneself up to the microscope is intimidating and scary. 



Unfortunately, society puts that person under a great amount of pressure and scrutiny.  We all see it play out so many times, its no wonder that there is deep reflection and struggle before stepping forward.

For every one person who blows the whistle, how many haven't?  What about the stories that don't come out?  The ones about people who have similar experience but not involve well known figures like Ghomeshi or celebrities like Cosby?

I created a new blog that is a bit more anonymous than one that has a greater audience.  I want to be able to write about things that mattered to me but were not associated with who I worked for or related to my career.  I am quiet about my identity.

Having said that.  I am bothered right now about an announcement I just heard at work.   Recognition in expertise.  Among them, was this young male colleague that made sarcastic offensive comments to me on a regular basis when I first started.  So bad, that those within hearing sucked in their breath, widened their eyes and looked at me to see my reaction.

He thought he was funny when he slighted my height (I'm short), made underhanded jokes about my age (I'm old enough to be his mother) ... you get the picture. 

I was new to the organization so I didn't want to start off my career going under the trouble maker or whiner umbrella.  Even so, the comments cloaked under humor were offensive and he should have been reprimanded. 

I'm not going to judge those within earshot for not doing anything.  They were not the object of this person's sorry humor.  Perhaps maybe they had been and thought I'd be strong enough to do something.  Even though their reaction clearly showed how unacceptable it was.  I didn't cower from him, but nor did I lodge a complaint.  Hind sight, I probably should have.  Not because of the recognition but because he is being set as a positive example.  Little do others know.



I was probably right by standing off and not doing anything, thinking that it will eventually catch up with him, as it often does.  I was wrong to think that it wasn't my place to lodge an official complaint because I have a sense that people who get away with bad things are good at a number of other things. 

I had done something before.  Years back a female junior colleague came to me to confide about a senior male who had more than sexually harassed her, he had abused her.  I was considering leaving anyway thus I only brought it up on my exit interview when asked:  "what could have been prevented to make you decide to stay?".  I honestly told.  Nothing was done.  I was left, the offender stayed for years after.  It came off as sour grapes to smear someone perhaps.  Timing is everything, but the opportunity did present itself to say something.

Further along in my career in a much more senior position, I reported directly to a President of a company.  He was responsible for leading, ensuring signatures and carrying out its Code of Ethics.

During one conversation he voiced concerns about a person allowing personal problems to impact performance.  I thought there was an opening and it was appropriate timing to voice that I thought that this gal was a manager who started a personal relationship with a new hire, was a violation of our Code of Ethics.  I spoke up not using that terminology simply expressing concern because the "victim" was a subordinate, non manager who ended up with a broken family - a wife with a newborn, betrayed,  asked the guy to leave his home.  Looking for a place to live, etc. impacted his work performance poorly.



It was clearly a breach of Code of Ethics everyone signed.  That executive didn't do anything.  One could contemplate it was because the offender had been with him for 15 or so years and he had directly helped her climb in her career.   

Sadly, the anguish expressed was from decreased performance, not whether it breached any code.  Unfortunately, everyone else saw them leave on breaks and sitting in a parked car together.  It sets a tone culturally.  I remember his answer that several young people had met and married at this company.  I didn't argue, I got that he couldn't distinguish the difference in the situations with two consenting adults.

How difficult is it to separate a personal performance with poor judgment.  One can understand where it may come from.  However, companies take a no nonsense stand when drugs or DUI situations arise.  It just seems so much more difficult and sensitive with personal relationships aligning with company policy.




Do I regret bringing it up with my boss?  For my own personal beliefs, absolutely not.  Because I signed the same Code of Ethics the others did, absolutely.  What is the point of having the clause that a boss cannot have an affair with someone he directly manages or is senior to? Regardless of gender.

Sadly, companies pick and choose who they may make examples of.  They may have been considering getting rid of one party anyhow, so they find an excuse to get rid of the person who brought the matter up.  Economy, decline in business, yada yada yada.   Thanks for your contributions, best wishes for your future.

What saddens me most is that the person who is offended enough to try to right a wrong is caused so much anguish. 

One can't contemplate how bad things are going to have to get before someone does something ... sooner than later.






Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Focus on the GOOD

"Once you replace negative thoughts with positive ones, you'll start having positive results."
~Willie Nelson 


 
This blog was originally written about Business, Sales, Leadership, Social Media  optioneerJM since May 2010.  As I was critiquing myself, I recognized that I strayed from its main purposes with reflections on matters that are unbusiness-related. 

 I have since branched out to Meanderings because there are many issues I want to write about that don't fall under business.  I hope you will visit, follow, share and help me there.  It is your support that inspires me to write.  If you have an idea or question you would like me to write about on optioneerJM or Meanderings, drop me a line and let me know optioneerJM@gmail.com.


It is far easier to write about one's personal experiences than based on others. We all face situations that tick us off, perplex, astound, shock, disgust us.  However, we all need to dig deeper to look for the positives we encounter.

I was flying in a particular Canadian airline this past week, whom I was disappointed in their service last year.  Unfortunately, I did use my social media skills to bring it to their attention.  And, attend to it they did.  It reminded me of one of the greatest advice ever received in my career:  "people don't always judge you on the mistakes you make,  but they will judge you based upon how you fix them."  How true that is!

Seriously, though.  You would think that most brands have a look out peeled towards negative social media posts.  They react so quickly.   Some call it damage control.  However, disappointing as it sounds, if you pay them a compliment, you will hardly, if ever, be acknowledged.  For example, I did tweet what a marvelous experience I had, without a peep.... What does that say about the force of social media?  Shouldn't it be a force to be reckoned with in its ability to spread good news?  Why not simply focus on what is good?

Scan through the feed on Twitter or trending topics and it will likely be about scandal, shock, sadness.  Heck, I thought I strayed away from media for that very reason.  I used to think that if I wanted to be disappointed, shocked, saddened, all I had to do was turn on the news or pull out a newspaper.  It all amounts to the biggest scoop or the loudest headline rather than anyone or anything helping others.  

It doesn't say much about us as a humanity that we swoop in and glue ourselves to stories about those fallen from grace, accidents, horror, beautiful babes, controversy, terror and beyond .... first.    Then there are the broadcasts cloaked as wisdom that scream "pick me, click me".  We are all guilty of being rubber-neckers: slowing down to view the scene of others' accidents, blunders, misery, mayhem, catastrophe, power plays.

There is a lot to be celebrated about in our world:  births, bravery, beauty, cuteness, poetry, wisdom, knowledge,   We do celebrate our sports teams, heroes, events, cities, countries, or communities.  Sadly, in much lower dosage.  

I do try, as many of us do, to be someone associated with positive vibes, celebratory congratulation, admiring wisdom, bravery, courage, and the little guys and gals who make a difference in our world.  I adore the discovery of someone or some company who is doing some thing that is making a difference in making our world a better place.

Certainly, I would love to have earned the fame and wealth of Oprah who for the most part does incredible things for young girls and education.  Or, be the world's wealthiest billionaire, Bill Gates, who will always remain the found of Microsoft and not of the philanthropy those riches have empowered him and his wife to bestow to make the world a better place. 






"If you don't get out of the box you've been raised in, you won't understand how much bigger the world is." 

                                                                ~Angelina Jollie Pitt


What about Angelina Jollie Pitt, wouldn't it be easier to label her as a femme fatale or marriage wrecker than to acknowledge her as an accomplished actress first, married to Brad Pitt second?  You will find further down the line a humanitarian (and in my opinion, should be at the forefront) an even greater example for women's health: putting health before beauty or what society expects.

I believe it within each of us to encourage one another, champion causes that are for the good and shun anything negative.  We have the ability to stop ourselves from pulling the thread to prevent unraveling.  We can control what we seek, promote, share and pronounce on social media.  

"Things don't have to change the world to be important."

~Steve Jobs



Keep calm and color on

This blog was originally written and shared on my Business, Sales, Leadership, Social Media Blog optioneerJM which I had started in May 2010.  I branched out to Meanderings because there are many issues I want to write about that don't fall under business. 

What is the most powerful, impactful trend right now?   Coloring! What? .... isn't coloring something you did when you were a kid?  Well, perhaps you did.  Now you have permission to do it as an adult because it is great for you!
The next time you are planning an important corporate event, team meeting, or training session consider adding color to your tools of engagement.  You may realize many benefits:

  • To ward off distractions
  • As an approach to problem solving
  • To improve and enhance the physical, mental and emotional well-being of individuals of all ages, all levels within the organization 
  • Artistic self-expression helps people to resolve conflicts and problems
  • Develop and improve interpersonal skills
  • Manage behavior,
  • Reduce stress,
  • Increase self-esteem
  • Build self-awareness
  • Achieve insight

Coloring and art have been around for ages.     Today,  use it as a powerful stress buster.  Assembled are helpful meanings to get started:

 Mandelas

 Mandalas are sacred circles that have been long been used to facilitate meditation in the Indian and Tibetan religions.  

They are created and looked at to center the body and mind.  Mandelas are variations or symbols of circles often found in halos, prayer wheels, religions, architecture and nature.    Now, they are used as a healing tool and a form of meditation which suggest they can boost the immune system, reduce stress, combat depression, reduce pain, lower blood pressure and  stimulate the release of melatonin, a hormone believed to slow cell aging and promote sleep.

Tattooes:

The word "tattoo" was brought to Europe by explorer James Cook when he returned in 1771 from his first voyage to Tahiti and New Zealand.   (In his narrative of the voyage, he referred to "tattaw". )

Popularity has steadily risen where artists, executives, and mainstream every day people swarm to "tattoo shops", "tattoo studios", or "tattoo parlors" to undergo their own personalized stamp of creativity.  Today, tattoo enthusiasts refer to tattoos as:

  • ink
  • skin art
  • tattoo art
  • tats

Coloring books:

Paint books and coloring books emerged in the United States as part of the "democratization of art" process.  The McLoughlin Brothers are credited as the inventors of the coloring book with The Little Folks' Painting Book.  
Another pioneer in the genre was Richard Outcault who authored  Buster's Paint Book in 1907.   It launched a trend to use coloring books to advertise a wide variety of products, including coffee and pianos.

 Until the 1930s, books were designed with the intent for them to be painted instead of colored.  Coloring books are widely used in schooling for young children because they tend to be more interested in coloring than other learning methods.  Pictures are also more memorable than simply words.

Educators conclude that all, regardless of background, students benefit from art as a means of enhancing their conceptual understanding of the tangible, developing their cognitive abilities, improving skills, finding a profession, as well as for spiritual edification.

Color therapy:


Color as a holistic therapy dates back thousands of years.  Color gains energy from light and why it is used as Color Therapy.  It can have a major healing impact on us as humans.
Color Therapy is a complementary therapy for which there is evidence dating back thousands of years to the ancient cultures of Egypt, China and India. Color is simply light of varying wavelengths, thus each color has its own particular wavelength and energy.  It can have a major healing impact on us as humans. 

Art Therapy:

Alternatively,  art therapy is a relatively young therapeutic discipline.  It began in the use of the arts in the moral treatment of psychiatric patients in the late 18th century.  It arose out of  a non-conformist religious tradition,  arising in English-speaking and European countries. The early art therapists who published accounts of their work acknowledged the influence of aesthetics, psychiatry, psychoanalysis, rehabilitation, early childhood education, and art education, to varying degrees, on their practices. 

 A British artist named Adrian Hill came up with the name  art therapy in 1942 while he was recovering from tuberculosis in a sanatorium.  Hill caught on to the therapeutic benefits of drawing and painting while convalescing.  He wrote that the value of art therapy lay in "completely engrossing the mind (as well as the fingers)…releasing the creative energy of the frequently inhibited patient", which enabled the patient to "build up a strong defense against his misfortunes". He suggested artistic work to his fellow patients. That began his art therapy work, which he authored a book "Art versus illness." in 1945.

Another key figure, artist Edward Adamson, became the "father of art therapy in Britain" after he was demobilised after World War II.  He helped Hill extend work in long stay mental hospitals.  Margaret Naumburg and Edith Kramer are credited for being art therapy pioneers in the United States.  

Best Sellers:

Currently, the top sellers on Amazon.com are the featured adult coloring books:



Our lives become busier with each passing day and as technology escalates so do our access to work, obligations and stress. Coloring allows adults a way to slow down, feel calm and use meditative coloring for relaxation.

Unleash your creative spirit with this sophisticated anti-stress colouring, doodling and drawing book. The flowing lines, sweeping swirls and highly-detailed patterns on every illustration have been created so that anyone and everyone can enjoy making something beautiful and calming. Increasing focus through creativity can benefit those who find it difficult to unwind or struggle to find their inner artist when faced with a blank page. There are no instructions, no rights or wrongs, and no need for expensive art supplies - readers can simply doodle and colour in any way they wish to create unique and exquisite pieces.





Art therapy provide healing and growth experiences, and stimulate creativity.  Creating art images is a safe and natural way of communicating feelings and experiences.  People are able to see themselves more clearly, gain different perspectives, and unblock feelings and issues that may otherwise be difficult to bring to the conscious.  We have an energy language in our body that informs us both literally and symbolically.  Immune system neuropeptides transform thoughts into matter, storing emotions and memories in body tissues.  These stored negative experiences, relationship issues and belief systems generate negative energy that affects our health.  The rational and censoring left brain can keep us from this information.  Through meditative aspects inherent in the art therapy process, we tap into the right brain, connecting to symbols, images and perceptions that speak to us from the unconscious. These images may both surprise and inform us.  The act of externalizing images releases repressed memories, stimulates our parasympathetic nervous system to calm us, and the images become our teacher.  By connecting our conscious with our unconscious we gain a more congruent sense of self, improving mind, body and spirit.

Color on

Try it and see if it improves your mood, helps you concentrate, reduces pain, or eliminates stress.  How about improve the morale and retention at your next corporate event?   I've assembled a "Color me Doodle" board on Pinterest along with some of my favorites here for you to help yourself to.