Showing posts with label fashionista. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fashionista. Show all posts

Thursday, April 20, 2017

Rambling on about nothing

I've been rather serious for a while.  On point, on focus, distracted or disoriented, I'm not sure which.  Not so serious one would reference a witch.  I'm not the wicked witch.  That doesn't mean I'm not the Evil Stepmother either.  

As the author, I gain access to disclaimer to all who read this blog or my affiliate blogs:  theoptioneerJM on blogspot, finely fueled by Google.  Yes, you knew?  Google is only the most richest, influential bazillionaire top of the heap.  Not just one person, but a group of persons who beat as one.  Synergized to the pulse of the human vibe.  What's got us abuzz?  Who caught our eye?  What were we looking for?  What we were clicking at?  Yeah them.  Times a lot allotta more.  

They're the top of our heap of which we are below, and how far down and near hidden, others may fall to or land from.  They basically know what we want long before we even know we wanna know.  They're just really smart at figuring out algorithms that can flicker into your sphere, something that they're pretty sure, will not only catch your eye, but immediately deserve your click.  That is who is at the top of the heap.  Google.

Unbridled, Google could unleash its power.  

Take over all of our data.  To those of us that are pretty honest, wholesome and sincerely are trying to help others, freely and uninhibited.  Google really likes latching on to some of them to see how it can unleash that knowledge even higher?  

Ladies and gentlemen.  The super computer is here.  The ones that take over society to tell us the best way to think in order to achieve bliss, harmony and peacefulness.  Disciples of anxiety ridden, depressed, lost, victimized souls.    They turn their souls over to that super computer because they space out, relax and reach out to unwind from the day-to-day headaches, heartaches, spasmistic, encounters.  (SPAZ was a word defined by the clean kids who grew up in the 70s.)

Don't be a SPAZ.  What a SPAZ.  Quit it, you SPAZ.  Never really defined as being a good or even a bad thing.  It was a universal language that aligned itself with just the right people, of the right general yet across all ethnic, cultural, religious beliefs.  Forgiving of the most awful, but unrelenting against evil.

So, thank you Sir Google and all your Alphabet offspring, relatives, loved ones, reverers.  I'm not afraid of taking a glimpse inside my head every once and a while and actually pay attention to what you are laying in my path.  As a side project or experiment I'm know to flog on my optioneerJMBlogspot.  I have been taking note between how well the big guns are in managing my brand.  

So here it goes, the best resources a gal blogger from Calgary would hope to penetrate out of her country into the atmosphere ridden on social media flames of unity and connection with a lot of tremendous people from everywhere, across oceans, languages.  Sometimes the connection is simply the clicking and sharing of a beautiful image by an artist, photographer, illustrator which I openly sneak the best ones to make my own quotes now branded to me, my name.  

Eventually, I'd love for this whole writing thing to pay off.  I know there are the traditional means by our friends Google's AdSense and AdWords Analytics Supremo Moola Generating Beings who glide your name to the top on the front page, and sometimes greased more to be shown as a mini ad, considered unaffronting (my own new word eh? meaning noninvasive, too distracting while luring you to look rather than glide past too quickly, because based on your moods you may be clicking on a string of quotes, reaching out to seek beauty of the senses, primarily the visuals ::.... art, creativity, innovative, wonderful captures by photographer camera or an artists brush.

If anyone were to jump out at me for infringement by choosing one of the selections Google shimmied out in front of me to click on, use, share, edit, crop, embed in blog, I would be honest, open, and apologetic.  I would right my wrong and add their website name and link.   I would also start to consider to use someone's image linked to a really cool website, like a movie, a nice song.  Jeesh ya pervs, gettouttaherrreeeeeeeeeeeee!

Eek, shudder.  Can you imagine.  One of those types here?  Well, I guess it really is how the other half lives.  Trying to be inspired, continue to help others, be someone others can look up to.  In others a super being that very few mortals have climbed above all, even floating far above the top of the heap.  Everlasting.  I can think of a few that come to my mind the most and are nicely jumping out at me by my friends at Google:

*Nelson Mandela
*Mother Teresa
*Helen Keller

Artists I like listening and then reading the lyrics to their songs so that it envelopes me and it feels like I'm getting what was meant when it was created and rolled out for the rest of us to not just listen but experience the talent and artistry employed when created.

I'd write more if I made more.  I just don't want to go the basic normal way of adsense or any other third party skelper (had to try three different ways to spell that right, lol, Google tripped over it and Chrome thought it was a typo on sculpture).  

I would like to be a Brand Ambassador.  With the only exception is I use it, wear it, promote it.  No deal otherwise.  I am told I have pretty good taste, have a sense of self and polished chic fashion approach.  I'm not dramatic on make up and stay true to the skin products that have held my skin uppermost in their minds, I'm loyal.

I can start by writing about cars I've driven, owned.  My favorite ones.  Maybe hint at which one I'd return to in a heartbeat which will win me an exact same car to drive around in as a backdrop to selfies at events around town and if travel bug fairy godmother is paying attention, I'm due for a vacation abroad, but I would love to go to a place that I could genuinely explore, from the perspective of a pretty active, enthusiastic 50 year old lady .... only by doing it would one realize whether that is an unexplored demographic.  Other than the INbetweeners whom I've been ignoring for a few weeks, or maybe more.  

Lately, I've mainly been rambling.  Not really accomplishing much of substance, other than being astounded that my 30-60-90 Day Plan blog finally took over and surpassed "Do you want a hunter or farmer?" which has been reigning for a good couple of years, so much that I stopped paying attention, barely glazed over.  What was even more astounding was that it got my wheels turning.  Yeah, I almost forgot about that.  The whole planning perspective.  You have to remember, I wrote that blog long long long before I had been professionally hired as a senior project manager with HP and actually discovered the PMP principles and guiding principles.    Yet if you read the blog and now know that I had no direct Project Management distinction for a good 15 to 20 years of my career.  We just didn't call it that.  

Hells, bells .... oops, sounding hickish .... back in the day, long before my career time, your role as a "Secretary" meant that you did that Project Management thing, and a whole helluvalot more.   You were a hostess with the pay of a waitress, you were an event planner with out all the balloons or budget, how about all the other things PEOPLE do themselves, every single minute of every single day, at all reaches of the world, by all people and for all people.  Well, those old people used to be called Secretaries.  The one solid contender was that the boss was made up by about 95% of  men and the secretaries "filled in" as a supporting role equally as much.  The pay difference, probably close to being bang on, back to when the only rights women had were to whether they made coffee or tea or lemonade or freshly-squeezed orange juice as superwoman efficiently getting kids off to school with lunch packs in toe and homework all done, tucks her husband's crisply hand starched and ironed shirt into the suit she had picked up at the dry cleaners on her way from work, just before she went to the grocery store to get that final fresh vegetable and wholesome milk ingredients to finish off the casserole she had prepped for after everyone fell asleep last night.  


I hope you like my selection of quotes.  I have also cultivated and collaborated sharing with others, some of my favorites.  Not like the others that I have at the top and the end of my optioneerJM blogs (which I'd probably not been as particular to of late).














I hope you enjoy my selections.  If you do happen to share them, please include me so that I may #RT LIKE or SHARE across the social media gambit.  



Most of all, thank YOU for stopping in.  I see the visits, never a comment.  However, I'm counting on YOU to help me get better.  Please give your advice, feedback, recommendations or facts .... I'm all eyes.

Thursday, April 13, 2017

An empty nester ~ winning Lottery ~ Easter weekend kind

If either of us saw a picture of us right now, we may have decided against one of the best decisions of our life.

I knew that my conversation with my 82/year young mother would keep paying forward in my consciousnesses thoughts.  Interesting how she gave me a zinger that caught my attention big time!  She said that I seemed more caught up in the present, letting go of the past, and no longer fretting with what the future has in mind.

The Hunkster Hubster picked up some groceries, where we share the chores of putting together dinner.  A ritual of sorts for the empty nesting kind.  Except this is the Easter long weekend where we get to spend the whole weekend together.  That is not a big deal in our world.  Even though we both work full time, our hours are lopsided and inconsistent.  To have a four day weekend off at the same time is of the winning-Lottery kind.

For my husband to recognize it as a special occasion makes our goofy get-ups almost forgivable.  Certainly, for sure if no kids were to drop by.  Since that is highly unlikely these days, it is about making sun when the sun shines.

Like the bed pan I found at Goodwill yesterday for $12 at half-price because it was 50% Blue Tag day there.  I've been the luckiest on Blue Tag Day.  Maybe there is a system to group things together as they are being priced?  Now wouldn't that be amazing eh?

I've been reading a lot about Bitcoin from ages ago.  Wanting to extrapolate what the "experts" said back then:  optimistic or pessimistic or skeptical?  One may think that it would be an accurate portrayal of how things unfold online.  However, let's be realistic and recognize that anything that is held online is vulnerable.

Then again Carney (another secret crush, that is no longer a secret) says that it may actually work:  that Blockchain may work across financial and global boundaries.  That WOULD be revolutionary.

Yet even if Carney were to drive up in a Limousine towing a Guelia for me (you know that red commercial?  I'd insert here for a fee.

At some point as a blogger or writer you have to decide that what you write is worthwhile.  Putting the words out there with hopes that someone would really like what you're saying and *POOF* you're a Brand Ambassador!!  Perfecto.  Bellisimo Mon Ami!!

I've supported @SocialFave as it was a launchling and now picking up steam.  Its CEO, Philippe Trebault @MisterFavor and I became connected back when I started in 2010.  March 2010 as a matter of fact.  Linked In was my very first approach to social media.   This group of early adopters I met there are the most important kind.  Somehow, even as I am compelled to go to work to earn my keep, there are those that pop out in front of me when I'm online.  I'd have to say the few that immediately come to mind:

* Sandy Hubbard @sandyhubbard
* Joseph Ruiz @josephyruiz
* Dave Reynolds @therealdavereynolds

Those are the long-timers that were experimenting and discovering a really neat feature nestled among the nest of social media, which was just starting to take flight:  the #hashtag conversation.

We've now graduated to being able to carry on public conversations with remarkable people of every different, race, color and kind.  Joined by intellect, creative minds, gifted wordsmiths, artists, photographers.  Yet as the millions clamber on board, how many are really making money or doing it to pass the time?

I think the most superb thing about starting out 7 years ago, some names were really getting widespread recognition (think Sean Knight + JessicaN + a few more that are at the top in the media's mind ... like the CEO Benoit who became a mutual follower back then.




Wednesday, February 8, 2017

TRUST your instincts

The trials of being 50+ can be eye popping, especially so if you are a woman.



I was just getting prescriptions filled less than a week ago after seeing the doctor for an annoying recurring bug (first laryngitis type virus then nauseous); it occurred to me to mention it to the doctor but I didn't, but remembered and asked the pharmacist: my husband had a small case of shingles in his back beneath his shoulder blade: he said that shingles is NOT contagious; The day before last during a meeting excusing during the discussion, saying I didn't know what was going on. Thankfully, yesterday was a day off because, even though I grumbled about missing the Super Bowl, I had swapped Sunday's 9 to 5 shift instead of an ugly 2pm to 10pm shift. My skin started to erupt and today it almost looks like I am a burn victim. I wasn't even thinking shingles, but when the Hunkster Hubster had shingles, I did what most of us do: look it up on the internet. Let me emphasize that I do not condone self-diagnosis, always rule to see a doctor first. (I was taught this while my Awesome SONster was in and out of the hospital a lot as a baby)! To top THAT off, I had been invited for a video interview for a career position (not a job, like I am in now) with an international sustainability corporation (the environment is something I'm passionate about - please go to my optioneerJM blog where I wrote about how to use normal household objects instead of expensive manufactured, packaged, designed, marketing overhead products. Because I consider my main focus groups: INBETWEENERS (born 1960 to 1965, after the Baby Boomers, before Generation X, while likely parents of Millennials) ..... so here I am with this erupted sore face, I had to slather it with tons of foundation to try to hide it with massive amounts of cover up ..... wishing for the best: one thing I said in the video was a wholehearted response: just doing this video interview while I have a severe allergic reaction on my face, should demonstrate that I can bounce back from set backs. So later on this afternoon while I am waiting for my family to come home and stop over to celebrate my Awesome SONster's birthday; 28th birthday......... read more on meanderingsABOUT 


I came online to ask Google the question:  "Can you get Shingles on your face?" and a plethora of information abounded.  I read some of the symptoms and it registered with me to go beyond to take a look of the images of Shingles on faces ...... pretty GROSS is an understatement.  I WAS able, however, to find one that mirrored my own face.  In fact, mine appears a lot more drastic.  Trust me, it may be slightly redder from putting cover up and mega tons of foundation to cover up for the video interview I had on my agenda this afternoon.  That, and preparing for my Awesome SONster's 28th Birthday celebration.  Not any lazing around.


YES you CAN get #shingles on your face!!  
My lesson for the day:  trust your instincts.  If it is anything other than Shingles I will update my blog.

This was me a week ago.


Lesson to you:  If you are over 50, get the Shingles vaccine.  If I had been given the proper information less than a week ago, I may have gotten the vaccine that very day.  Less than a week later, ironically they must be contagious, just like chicken pox are.

Shingle Alert

Thanks Donna, I just got home from Dr who confirmed it is Shingles. I wrote about it on my MEANDERINGSabout blog and posted this uncomplimentary picture that has horrified my family to create awareness that it is CONTAGIOUS and very painful. Anxiety is the highest contributor in my case. I took two months off work this summer, the first time in a career spanning 40 years -- I can say that because I got my first job at a newspaper when I was 15, because if I wanted to continue figure skating, I had to contribute financially to the ice times, private lessons, tests, competitions, skates and dresses (most top contending figure skaters come from very affluent backgrounds typically because it is almost an elitist sport for the well off, a beacon for affluence similar to that of tennis. READ more on MEANDERINGSabout http://meanderingsabout.blogspot.ca/


Monday, January 30, 2017

an epic ZITcom


A makeover of the RED kind

I haven't appealed to my fashionista persona for a while.  Since this is my third day off in a row, I decided to do a radical makeover and share with you the steps I am taking in case it is something you want to do as well.

Today, I am going to transform from my natural "dirty blond" or light brunette hair color to an eye-popping RED.  I sure hope it turns out well.  

I asked a young gal cashier who had flaming red hair whether she thought it would suit me and she said YES!  (well, she said, with my eyes ... blush, aw shucks).  I've had two forms of temporary red color in my cabinet for quite some time.  Somewhere around Halloween, I think.

This is definitely going for the gusto.  Not something anyone timid would attempt, to be sure.  


What I look like on a "normal" day

A spa day
of a new kind.  I haven't treated myself to a self-pampered day for quite a while.  Thank you for joining me, especially if you decide to try it along with me.

The BEFORE before the after
I apologize if I've scared you.  It is necessary to do the "before" like any other makeover.  I've already forewarned my stepdaughter should the Hunkster Hubster show up on her doorstep with suitcase in tow from the shock.  Guys don't like their women reinventing themselves too often or too drastically.  




Cleansing
is a must in any ritual to keep healthy, happy skin.  Unfortunately, I've had this big zit on my cheek since just before my stepdaughter's wedding last August!  I had to pull out a lot of different concealers for the wedding photos.  I've tried to tackle it for 6 months now, in an epic ZITcom. 




A face masque
After I use the OXY pads (sounds like a home cleaning product I should be using to do chores doesn't it?)





A face mask while coloring




Ruby red
I bought Schwarzkopf's ruby red on the darker side, with my blonde, light hair color, I want to avoid it turning pink.  Also, I am keeping in mind that I have the temporary color as a back up to add later if it does go haywire during the color.  I've kept it on for 30 minutes before I shop into the shower.  (I'm nervous now).



 It's all about the base
Before I get started on any foundation or styling hair (I usually go air dry unless sprucing up for a special occasion).  I have mentioned before that I use Oil of Olay for sensitive skin, faithfully after I wash or shower.  I use coconut oil on my hair while wet to help prevent my hair from drying out from home coloring remedies.



I've discovered this RIMMEL BB Cream since my "ZITcom" erupted a month or so ago.  It gives me a smooth finish and does a fantastic job of covering up the imperfections (which are plenty once you hit 50!)

I use a QUO TM to smooth it on.  It does a decent job of it.  Even though the ZIT is still there, it is less noticeable to my eye.


The red hair doesn't look too bad.  In fact, it did turn out to be the color I expected.  My hair is thinning at the front forehead so a side part comb over helps.  You may have noticed the eyebrows are hanging on to my natural color, but I have a fix it for that.  After I use some concealer under the eyes and dotted on the zits to give a better coverage.  I seal it with a powder to avoid shine or smear marks.  It helps to set the foundation for extended coverage.

Eyebrows framed
I have experimented a lot in this area because I have faint eyebrows.  It is more important than anything.  If I were to stop here and just apply lipstick, I'd be free to accept surprise guests or a shopping trip.  (Do you ever notice how much more attentive boutique sales are when you are all made up?  If you want help, don't go shopping in sweats and looking like you're about to tackle housework).



I clip my eyebrows very short with nose hair scissors (that I don't use on nose hairs, gimme a break!).  I find that if they are shorter, they will grab the eyebrow product much better.  I outline my eyebrows in a color that closely matches my own.  If I am just shopping or going to work, that is suffice.  Today, I'm using the darker product to bring out my eyes.

Green eyes and purple eye color
go hand in hand, according to all beauty reports.  I tend to wear eye color scheme according to the tone of my outfit.  For example, if I'm wearing read, I would use nude tones.  For this make up makeover, I am relying on my trusted QUO palette and dual contouring + eye liner.  There is lots of information out there on what color to use to compliment your eyes.  For example, blue works wonders with brown eyes.   Try it out, and if it works, keep it part of your regular routine.  As you get used to it, you'll become faster at doing a quick brush of makeup before you're off and on your way.  Typically, my makeup regime is 10 minutes max.  If I fuss with my hair, add another 20 or 30 minutes, depending on what I do.  I ventured into a short cut lately, which is easily maintained.  I cropped it short because I was constantly tying it back which wasn't necessarily a good look for me if I wasn't curling, moussing and blow-drying to tendrils.


The cheek bone is connected
to where you put a light dusting of blush.  I don't put much on.  Those eyebrows look too dark to me ... hmmmm.



Bat outta eyelash hell
Thick, full eyelashes is something I grapple with.  I wrote about my misadventures in eyelash extensions before.  I use an eyelash foundation/mascara combination, with the best so far being from L'Oreal.  I tried MAC's but haven't found it as great as MAC mascara-like eyebrow definer.  This is probably what takes me the longest.  My own eyelashes are long, but I have to work at it to make them thicker, fuller.  I learned this trick from my stepdaughter (the other two rarely wear makeup, yeah that's lucky for them, that and youth) to use multiple types of mascara.  I have to use waterproof kinds otherwise they weep and I turn into a raccoon.


I've been framed 
To complete the look, you need lipstick.  You'll notice that I have not been blessed with full, luscious lips like my youngest daughter (I'm still trying to figure out where that gene came from because she was blessed with it).  I really like the kind that are lipstick and liner in one with a sealer over top.  

Similar to mascara, lip liner can bleed on my lips and look like I'm a 5-year-old attempting to use her mom's makeup.  



VOILA!
A beauty queen, I'll never be.  Trying to make the most of what gifts I've been given, I max out on my eyes which are my best feature, or so I've been told.  My youngest daughter and sister have asked me aloud why they weren't bestowed with green eyes.  Well, looking at the pictures with no makeup and a horrible zit, demonstrates a trade off because they both have wonderful skin.



Friday, December 16, 2016

The definition of insanity?

Illusional | Amy Cochrane | Flickr



So do you know this question::… 
what is the definition of insanity?


Have you ever heard the answer followed immediately thereafter?


Do you know the answer?


IT IS:  The definition of insanity:  doing things over and over again expecting different results.


To me, insanity has typically aligned with something else OR someone else.  



I’ve used the term fairly often as a sales managing coaching her reps.  I have been employed, up until now, in predominately male-dominated industries such as digital printing, document management, fleet management, office services, outsourcing, infrastructure project management.  To name a few too many I’m sure.  After all this time, until I placed fingers on a keyboard, alternating the right with a mouse, I discovered that the quote is attributed to Albert Einstein.  Huh!  I didn’t know that.  I do know that I seem to gravitate towards his quotes, more than any other singular person.  Followed closely by Mother Teresa:





Do you ever get to the level that you feel yourself physically tense up or completely let go and sob while you cry your eyes out?  You’re exceptionally lucky if you haven’t, or insane being so unrealistic or void of any reaction to anything.  Therein the definition resources sits “narcissism” nestled along with all the other deranged words like madness, lunacy and derangement.

Illusion Art by Rob Gonsalves illusion art …


Excuse me dictionary people.  I did take exception to “dementia” being thrown in, like any innocent victim thrown in with the lions.  I hardly think that a medical condition that surfaces with advanced aging can in any way say that the person is “insane”.  Forgetful, lost touch with reality, where everyone becomes a stranger.

What Is Dementia?

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dementia-symptoms-and-brain changes Dementia is a general term for a decline in mental ability severe enough to interfere with daily life. Memory loss is an example. Alzheimer’s is the most common type of dementia.
About Dementia
Symptoms
Causes 
Diagnosis
Treatments
Risk & Prevention

About dementia

Find out what how typical age-related memory loss compares to early signs of Alzheimer’s and other dementias.
Learn the signs.

Dementia is not a specific disease. It’s an overall term that describes a wide range of symptomsassociated with a decline in memory or other thinking skills severe enough to reduce a person’s ability to perform everyday activities. Alzheimer’s disease accounts for 60 to 80 percent of cases. Vascular dementia, which occurs after a stroke, is the second most common dementia type. But there are many other conditions that can cause symptoms of dementia, including some that are reversible, such as thyroid problems and vitamin deficiencies.
Dementia is often incorrectly referred to as “senility” or “senile dementia,” which reflects the formerly widespread but incorrect belief that serious mental decline is a normal part of aging.
Learn more: Common Types of DementiaWhat is Alzheimer’s?


Memory loss and other symptoms of dementia

Many people have memory loss issues — this does not mean they have Alzheimer’s or another dementia

There are many different causes of memory problems. If you or a loved one is experiencing troubling symptoms, visit a doctor to learn the reason. Some causes of dementia-like symptoms can be reversed.

Learn more: Visiting Your Doctor

While symptoms of dementia can vary greatly, at least two of the following core mental functions must be significantly impaired to be considered dementia:

  • Memory
  • Communication and language
  • Ability to focus and pay attention
  • Reasoning and judgment
  • Visual perception

People with dementia may have problems with short-term memory, keeping track of a purse or wallet, paying bills, planning and preparing meals, remembering appointments or traveling out of the neighborhood.
Many dementias are progressive, meaning symptoms start out slowly and gradually get worse. If you or a loved one is experiencing memory difficulties or other changes in thinking skills, don’t ignore them. See a doctor soon to determine the cause. Professional evaluation may detect a treatable condition. And even if symptoms suggest dementia, early diagnosis allows a person to get the maximum benefit from available treatments and provides an opportunity to volunteer for clinical trials or studies. It also provides time to plan for the future.
Learn more: 10 Warning SignsStages of Alzheimer’s 


Well that certainly throws curve balls at anyone over the age of 50, one can only imagine.  I think back to when I was in my 20s, if asked:  “what is your greatest fear?”  I may have answered:  fire or a tornadoe (living in the Province of southern Alberta, it isn’t something we often have to concern ourselves with, even though we have seen funnel clouds).


Once you hit your 50s you do a major inventory on your life.  Not anything like the mild TO DOs by the time you hit your 30s.  It is a massive awakening.  A self-reflection and a dreaded comparison.


Whatever the predictors are saying.  If they are saying that my generation (born in the 1960s) had a tougher life than my parents did.  They would be right.


If you look at building a graph on life benchmarks, there would be a really steady climb for baby boomers and war babies on a ladder of steps.


However, if you take the typical 1960s baby, there would be no steady, even flowed climb.  It would look more like something out of radical dips and arrows.


Nothing is predictable.  Yet we uphold the belief that our world will return to sanity once again.  There were so many things that one could take for granted at one time, that it seems so lucky when someone born in the era of optimism on the one hand destroyed by fear and pending possibility of war.   


Then you sail through the innocence in comparison of the times going through upheaval and major changes, that made such large registration on our radar.


We somehow hung on to our innocence during the corruption of the early 70s and disruptions caused by war.  In both scenarios, we were hardly old enough to typically have it in our sphere of influence yet we became intuitive to the moods of our elders, parents, teachers and any other authority figures we were polite, well mannered and respectful to.

About now, many of us into our 50s are wondering or writing or saying out loud:  “stop the insanity”.  Yet it continues to circle around us.  


We tend to be dissatisfied because of the infrequency of peaceful surroundings, vibes, events in our lives if I were to hazard to guess.  We seem to be more comfortable in chaos than in solitude or quietness.  


We strive for mindfulness, as in being only concerned with the present moment … and this moment … and this moment.  Failing miserably at avoiding the major pitfall of not looking at the future, never mind in the pit of continual worry about what tomorrow will bring.


A person can be warming their car up outside while they are putting the finishing touches on their thermos of dark roast french-pressed Italian coffee  and the telephone rings.  That isn’t really that unusual, just so different than when we were growing up.


People riding their 50s grew up at a time when there were minimal phones around.  I almost giggle when I recall, how great my parents were at installing our one central phone in the kitchen with an extra long cord so that we could sneak around the corner to have a “private conversation”.


My father, like many fathers, had a big important job and came home to a hot dinner with his family, who were waiting by the set table for his arrival home so we could eat (the peanut butter and jam sandwich when we got home at 3 o’clock didn’t seem to ever tide us over in satisfaction).  From that moment on, among dinner chatter with my 3 siblings and parents, the phone answering was always my dad.  


My dad would almost grin in pleasure when there was no answer.  He was happiest when he knew he had scared off any boys  calling for one of us girls.  If I wasn’t around and the phone was off its cradle, my sister Diana had a fondness for picking up the phone and taking the call as though it were me.  Where was I?  Waiting outside the door to the one bathroom in our house that six people shared for one of brothers to exit in a fume of normal bodily function that would seriously disarm and impair the next innocent victim of their own bladder.  We didn’t have bathroom fans.  


My dad would reign on the couch for the rest of the evening.  If we were allowed to go out past dark, when we returned home we were required to give our father a kiss on the cheek before retiring to bed.  He was able to swiftly take a whiff like a hound dog of our breath, on the ever-ready mode to pounce if we would (hardly) have been stupid enough to take a sip of alcohol on the way home or stumbling home from a party.  I can never reason, nor did I ever ask him (that, I do regret) HOW WILD was he growing up?  That time when he was growing up and young men were signing up to go to World War II.  He would have been too young, yet as soon as he turned 18, he did sign up.  I guess that was the influences he had.


We have to stop comparing our lives to our parents lives or how fortunate in some ways we seem to have had it than our own children do now.  


It wasn’t a question of affording to go to university as much as when.  There was no grand scheme of childhood education funds or anything much other than a good savings nest egg.


So why in our lives, in the age of 50 plus, are we striving so hard to have the same lives as our parents did when they were 50?  Possibly because we don’t nor can have the assumption that we will take our education and apply that good ole home loyalty to your employer mentality we were brought up with, to only have that loyalty reciprocated void without any guarantee that we won’t have a job for 30 or 40 years and receive a gold watch at your retirement party.


It wasn’t unusual in the infancy of my career even to attend a retirement get together to say farewell to the work well and best wishes to the mellow years to follow.  That seemed to be natural up until the end of the 90s it would seem.  Not that there aren’t any.  Its just that most of them are on movie sets and television shows.


So why do we long for that same peacefulness and steady flow that our parents enjoyed?  They would certainly point out effectively that they, too, had many challenges during their living years.  


It is time to stop the insanity and stand on our tippie toes and reach the farthest out to try to understand the tide we’re on, when it will slow down, or if we’ll ever make it to coasting.


This should be your statesman or woman years.  You’ve had your ups and downs and earned your stripes by now.  But we forget, that is not the sign of our times.  We have to stop trying to reach out, comparing ourselves to others or to whom we thought we would be by now and we have to avoid worrying about tomorrow.  Today and this minute is the only thing we can actively participate in and do anything about.  

Illusional | Amy Cochrane | Flickr





The reasoning would be that we are the only ones who are truly in control of our destiny.  If we fall into mental health issues, depression or are illusional that it will get different, a lottery win around the corner, is up to us.

in·san·i·ty
inˈsanədē/
noun
  1. the state of being seriously mentally ill; madness.
    “he suffered from bouts of insanity”
    synonyms: mental illness, madnessdementiaMore

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